From interrupting others mid-sentence to that nervous laugh when things get serious, I spent years unknowingly sabotaging every conversation I had—until a friend's brutal honesty changed everything.
Ever walked away from a conversation and immediately started replaying it in your head, wondering if you came across as weird? Yeah, me too.
For years, I thought I was pretty good at the whole social thing. I mean, I spent nearly two decades as a financial analyst, presenting to clients and networking at conferences. But here's my confession: underneath that professional persona, I was constantly second-guessing myself. Every awkward pause, every joke that didn't land, every time someone's eyes glazed over while I was talking... it all added up to this nagging feeling that maybe, just maybe, people found me socially awkward.
The truth is, most of us have habits in conversations that can make others uncomfortable without us even realizing it. And once I started paying attention to these patterns (both in myself and others), everything clicked. So if you've ever wondered why some conversations feel off, these nine behaviors might be the culprit.
1. Interrupting people mid-sentence
We've all been there. Someone's telling a story, and you get so excited about your related experience that you jump in before they finish. I used to do this constantly, especially when I felt anxious in social situations. My brain would race ahead, desperate to contribute something valuable before the moment passed.
But here's what I learned: when you interrupt, you're basically saying "what I have to say is more important than what you're saying." People notice. They might not call you out on it, but they'll start sharing less with you. They'll keep conversations surface-level because why bother going deeper if they're just going to get cut off?
The fix is simple but takes practice. When you feel that urge to jump in, take a breath instead. Count to two after someone finishes talking. You'd be surprised how often they're just pausing to gather their thoughts.
2. Making everything about yourself
Someone shares that they're stressed about a work presentation, and you immediately launch into your own presentation horror story from five years ago. Sound familiar?
This one hit me hard when a friend finally called me out on it. She said, "Sometimes I just need you to listen, not compete for who's had it worse." Ouch. But she was right. I thought I was being relatable, showing empathy by sharing similar experiences. Instead, I was hijacking conversations and making everything about me.
Psychology calls this "conversational narcissism," and it's more common than you'd think. The antidote? Ask follow-up questions. Show genuine curiosity about their experience before sharing your own. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is simply, "That sounds really tough. How are you handling it?"
3. Avoiding eye contact (or staring too intensely)
Finding the right balance with eye contact feels like walking a tightrope, doesn't it? Look too little, and people think you're shifty or uninterested. Look too much, and suddenly you're that person who makes everyone uncomfortable with your laser-beam stare.
During my analyst days, I'd often look at my notes or the presentation screen to avoid eye contact altogether. It felt safer somehow. But colleagues later told me it made me seem disconnected, even cold. On the flip side, when I tried to "fix" this, I went too far the other way, maintaining eye contact so intensely that people would literally lean back in their chairs.
The sweet spot? Look at someone when they're talking (about 70% of the time), and give yourself permission to glance away when you're the one speaking. It feels more natural and gives everyone's eyes a break.
4. Over-sharing personal information
You know that moment when you realize you've just told your barista about your recent breakup, your cat's digestive issues, and your complicated relationship with your mother? Yeah, that's over-sharing, and it makes people deeply uncomfortable.
I get it. Sometimes when we're nervous, we fill the silence with whatever comes to mind. But dumping your life story on someone you just met at a party isn't building connection; it's creating awkwardness. People need time to warm up to personal revelations.
Think of sharing personal information like turning up the heat on a stove. Start low and gradual. Match the level of intimacy the other person is comfortable with. If they're talking about the weather, don't jump straight to your deepest fears.
5. Not picking up on social cues
Have you ever been talking to someone who keeps checking their phone, stepping backward, or giving one-word answers, but you just keep going? Missing these social cues is like driving through red lights in conversation.
This was huge for me. My analytical brain was so focused on what I wanted to say that I'd miss obvious signs that someone needed to leave. I'd corner people at networking events, oblivious to their desperate glances toward the exit.
Start watching for the signs: shifted body weight, looking at their watch, shorter responses, or that glazed-over look. When you see them, wrap up your point quickly. Give people an out. Say something like, "Well, I'll let you get back to it." They'll appreciate the awareness, trust me.
6. Monopolizing the conversation
Ever noticed how some people treat conversations like monologues? They talk and talk while everyone else becomes their audience? I hate to admit it, but I used to be one of those people, especially when discussing topics I felt passionate about.
A good conversation is like a tennis match, with the dialogue bouncing back and forth. But when you monopolize, you're essentially playing tennis alone while everyone else watches. It's exhausting for them and ultimately unsatisfying for you because real connection requires exchange.
Try the traffic light rule: Green for the first 20 seconds (people are engaged), yellow for the next 20 (attention starting to wane), and red after 40 seconds (stop talking). It's not an exact science, but it helps you stay aware of your airtime.
7. Using your phone during conversations
This might seem obvious, but you'd be amazed how many people do this without realizing how rude it appears. And I'm not just talking about scrolling Instagram while someone's talking. Even quickly checking a notification or placing your phone face-up on the table sends a message: "Something more interesting might come up."
I justified my phone-checking for years. Important emails! Work emergencies! But really, I was using it as a security blanket when conversations felt awkward. The irony? The phone-checking made things way more awkward.
Put it away. Completely. In your pocket, in your bag, face down in another room if you're at home. Show people they have your full attention. The emails can wait.
8. Giving unsolicited advice
When someone shares a problem, do you immediately jump into fix-it mode? "You should try this!" or "What you need to do is..."
For years, I thought I was being helpful. My analytical background meant I was great at problem-solving, so why wouldn't people want my solutions? But most of the time, people aren't looking for advice. They want to be heard, validated, understood. When you rush to fix their problems, you're essentially saying, "Stop feeling your feelings and let me tell you what to do."
Before offering advice, ask: "Are you looking for suggestions, or do you just need to vent?" This simple question changed my relationships. People actually started coming to me more with their problems once they knew I wouldn't immediately try to fix everything.
9. Laughing at inappropriate times
Nervous laughter is my old nemesis. Someone would share something serious, and I'd let out this awkward giggle. Not because anything was funny, but because I didn't know how else to handle the emotional weight of the moment.
This habit makes people feel like you're not taking them seriously. It minimizes their experiences and creates distance when they're trying to connect. I once laughed when a colleague told me about a family illness. The hurt in their eyes still haunts me.
When you feel that nervous laugh bubbling up, pause. Take a breath. It's okay to sit with discomfort. Sometimes a simple "I don't know what to say, but I'm here" is infinitely better than an awkward laugh.
Final thoughts
Reading through this list might feel a bit overwhelming. Maybe you recognize yourself in multiple points (I certainly did when I first became aware of these patterns). But here's the thing: awareness is the first step toward change.
We all have conversational habits that could use some work. The goal isn't to become some perfect social robot who never makes mistakes. It's about being more mindful, more present, and more genuinely connected in our interactions.
Start with just one behavior you'd like to change. Practice it for a week. Then add another. Before you know it, those post-conversation replays in your head will shift from "Did I seem weird?" to "That was a really good talk."
And remember, everyone feels socially awkward sometimes. Even those people
