7 etiquette mistakes that instantly expose a working-class background

Ever walked into a room and felt like everyone somehow knew you didn't quite belong?

I've been there. Growing up in a middle-class suburb with parents who worked hard to give me opportunities, I thought I'd seamlessly fit into any professional environment. But when I started my career as a financial analyst, I quickly realized there were unwritten rules nobody had taught me.

After nearly 20 years in the corporate world, I've observed how certain behaviors can inadvertently signal someone's background, often limiting their opportunities for advancement. It's not fair, but it's real.

The good news? Once you're aware of these subtle etiquette mistakes, you can adjust them. Not to pretend to be someone you're not, but to ensure your background doesn't overshadow your talent and hard work.

Let's explore the seven etiquette mistakes that might be holding you back.

1. Ordering the wrong way at business meals

Picture this: You're at a business dinner, the server approaches, and you immediately order the most expensive item on the menu because, hey, the company's paying, right?

Wrong move.

I learned this lesson the hard way during my first client dinner as a junior analyst. While my colleagues ordered moderately priced dishes, I went for the lobster. The subtle looks exchanged around the table told me everything I needed to know.

Here's what I've learned since: Follow your host's lead. If they order an appetizer, you can too. If they skip dessert, you should as well. And never, ever order the most expensive item unless explicitly encouraged to do so.

The same goes for drinks. Wait to see if others order alcohol first, and if they do, stick to one or two maximum. This isn't about denying yourself; it's about showing you understand professional dining isn't about the free meal.

2. Speaking too loudly in professional settings

Volume control might seem trivial, but it matters more than you think.

In many working-class environments, speaking loudly shows confidence and ensures you're heard over machinery, busy restaurants, or crowded spaces. But in corporate settings, a loud voice can come across as lacking refinement or self-awareness.

I noticed early in my career that senior executives rarely raised their voices. They spoke quietly, forcing others to lean in and listen. There's power in that quiet confidence.

Pay attention to the volume of conversations around you. In offices, restaurants, or networking events, match the ambient noise level. If you find yourself being the loudest person in the room regularly, it might be time to dial it back.

3. Over-sharing personal struggles

When I was paying off my student loans, which took me until I was 35, it consumed a huge part of my mental energy. But I learned quickly that constantly mentioning financial struggles at work marked me as different from colleagues who never seemed to worry about money.

There's nothing shameful about financial challenges or any personal struggle. But in professional settings, especially early in relationships, over-sharing can make others uncomfortable and may inadvertently position you as someone who doesn't belong.

This doesn't mean being fake or never being vulnerable. It means being strategic about when and how you share personal information. Build trust first, read the room, and remember that not every space requires full transparency about your challenges.

4. Misunderstanding dress codes

Have you ever shown up to an event drastically over or underdressed? That sinking feeling in your stomach tells you everything about why this matters.

The phrase "business casual" tormented me for years. Growing up, dressed up meant church clothes, and casual meant jeans. The space between? Complete mystery.

What I've learned is that dress codes in professional settings often have subtle nuances. "Casual Friday" doesn't mean the same thing at every company. "Cocktail attire" has specific implications. And showing up in obviously new clothes with tags barely removed or in outfits that scream "I Googled what to wear" can be just as problematic as being underdressed.

The solution? When in doubt, ask someone you trust who's familiar with the environment. Look at photos from previous similar events. And invest in a few quality, versatile pieces rather than a closet full of items that never quite hit the mark.

5. Using money talk incorrectly

Here's something fascinating I noticed during my years as a financial analyst: People from wealthy backgrounds rarely talk about specific prices, while those from working-class backgrounds often lead with cost.

Saying "I got this dress on sale for only $30!" or "Can you believe this wine costs $50 a bottle?" immediately signals your relationship with money. In many professional circles, mentioning prices, especially bargains, is considered gauche.

Similarly, commenting on how expensive things are, even when they genuinely are, can mark you as an outsider. I once attended a charity gala where tickets were $500 each. My instinct was to comment on the price. Thankfully, I caught myself when I noticed nobody else mentioned it.

The key is to focus on quality, experience, or enjoyment rather than cost. Instead of "This restaurant is so expensive," try "The food here is incredible."

6. Being too grateful

Gratitude is wonderful, but excessive thankfulness can actually undermine your professional presence.

Do you thank people profusely for doing their jobs? Do you act overly grateful for opportunities that you've actually earned? This over-thanking often stems from feeling like you don't quite deserve to be where you are.

I used to thank my boss repeatedly every time I was included in an important meeting, until a mentor pointed out that I was essentially telling everyone I didn't think I belonged there.

Express appreciation, absolutely. But do it once, sincerely, and then move forward with confidence. You earned your seat at the table. Act like it.

7. Eating habits that stand out

Table manners might seem outdated, but they're still a powerful social signal.

It's not just about knowing which fork to use, though that matters too. It's about eating pace, conversation flow during meals, and understanding the social aspect of dining.

Finishing your plate completely clean, eating too quickly, or starting before everyone is served are subtle signals. So is being unfamiliar with certain foods or pronunciations. I'll never forget my embarrassment when I pronounced "quinoa" wrong at a business lunch.

The most successful professionals I've observed treat meals as social experiences first, sustenance second. They pace themselves with the group, leave a small amount on their plate, and navigate unfamiliar foods with quiet confidence rather than loud commentary.

Final thoughts

Reading this might sting a little. Maybe you recognize yourself in some of these behaviors, and that recognition might come with some anger about why these things even matter.

You're right to feel that way. Many of these "rules" are classist and shouldn't determine someone's worth or potential.

But here's what I've learned after spending decades navigating between different worlds: You can acknowledge the unfairness while still choosing to adapt. Not because you're ashamed of where you come from, but because you refuse to let arbitrary social codes limit your opportunities.

Think of it as becoming multilingual in social situations. You're not erasing your background; you're expanding your repertoire.

The goal isn't to become someone you're not. It's to ensure that when doors open for you, they stay open. Your talent, work ethic, and character should be what people remember, not the etiquette mistakes that distracted from your brilliance.

Master these subtle shifts, and you'll find yourself navigating any room with the confidence you deserve. After all, you've already done the hardest part: getting yourself there in the first place.