While we all occasionally slip up, psychology reveals that these eight specific behaviors aren't just bad habits—they're warning signs of something deeper that separate those with genuine integrity from those who are simply good at pretending.
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Have you ever met someone who seemed charming at first, only to realize later that something was fundamentally off about them?
I spent nearly two decades as a financial analyst, and one thing that job taught me was how to read people beyond their polished presentations.
When you're analyzing investment patterns and watching how people handle money under pressure, you start noticing behavioral patterns that reveal character.
The 2008 financial crisis was particularly eye-opening. I watched colleagues, clients, and friends show their true colors when fear took over, and let me tell you, it wasn't always pretty.
Psychology backs up what many of us learn through experience: certain behaviors are red flags that instantly signal low-quality character.
These are deeper patterns that show a fundamental lack of integrity, empathy, or emotional maturity:
1) They constantly play the victim
We all know someone like this, right?
No matter what happens, it's never their fault: Their boss is out to get them, their ex was crazy, or their friends always betray them.
Every story they tell positions them as the innocent party wronged by a cruel world.
During my finance days, I worked with someone who blamed every failed project on external factors.
Market conditions, team members, technology glitches, you name it.
But here's what psychology tells us: People with victim mentalities often lack accountability and emotional regulation.
They're stuck in what researchers call an "external locus of control," believing life happens to them rather than recognizing their own agency.
The real problem? This mindset prevents growth. When you're always the victim, you never have to look at your own behavior or make changes.
It's a convenient escape from responsibility, but it reveals a character that prioritizes comfort over truth.
2) They treat service workers poorly
Want to know someone's true character? Watch how they treat the waiter, the cashier, or the janitor.
I once ended a budding friendship after witnessing how this person spoke to a barista who'd made a simple mistake with their order.
The condescension and unnecessary aggression were shocking.
How we treat people we perceive as having less power reveals our authentic selves.
People who are rude to service workers often struggle with empathy and have an inflated sense of self-importance.
They view relationships transactionally, being kind only when it benefits them.
3) They never apologize genuinely
"I'm sorry you feel that way."
"I'm sorry, but you made me do it."
"I apologize if anyone was offended."
Sound familiar? These are deflections dressed up as remorse.
Genuine apologies require vulnerability, acknowledgment of harm, and commitment to change.
People who can't truly apologize often have fragile egos and struggle with emotional maturity.
I learned this lesson personally when a former colleague would constantly hurt people with careless comments, then offer these non-apologies when confronted.
The pattern revealed someone who valued being right over maintaining relationships.
Psychology tells us this behavior stems from narcissistic traits and an inability to tolerate shame.
4) They gossip maliciously about everyone
There's sharing concerns with a trusted friend, and then there's malicious gossip.
You know the type: They always have dirt on someone, love spreading rumors, and seem to enjoy others' misfortunes.
Here's what I've noticed: If someone gossips to you about everyone else, they're definitely gossiping about you when you're not around.
This behavior reveals insecurity, a need for social power through information control, and often, deep-seated jealousy.
Psychological studies link excessive gossiping with lower levels of trust and higher levels of aggression.
The character issue here is loyalty, or rather, the complete absence of it.
5) They're cruel when they think no one's watching
Character is what you do when nobody's looking, and some people fail this test spectacularly.
They're charming in public but cruel in private; they kick the dog, literally or figuratively, when they think they're alone.
I witnessed this with someone who was beloved at work but would verbally tear apart their spouse at home.
The contrast was jarring as it reveals a character built on performance rather than genuine values.
6) They constantly break small promises
"I'll call you back."
"Let's grab coffee next week."
"I'll send that email today."
We all forget things occasionally, but some people habitually make promises they never intend to keep.
These might seem like small infractions, but they reveal something significant about character.
Reliability in small matters predicts trustworthiness in larger ones.
During my analyst years, I learned that clients who kept small commitments were invariably the ones who honored major contracts.
Those who constantly broke little promises? They were always the ones trying to renegotiate deals or find loopholes later.
7) They take credit for others' work
This one hits close to home from my corporate days.
Watching someone present your analysis as their own or hearing them describe a team effort as their solo achievement is infuriating.
But more than that, it reveals a character that values appearance over substance, recognition over relationships.
Psychology links this behavior to low self-esteem paradoxically combined with narcissistic tendencies.
These people need external validation so desperately that they'll steal it from others.
It shows not just dishonesty but a fundamental lack of respect for other people's contributions.
8) They lack empathy during others' struggles
When someone's going through a hard time, pay attention to who minimizes their pain, makes it about themselves, or simply disappears.
I've been reading Rudá Iandê's newly released book, Laughing in the Face of Chaos, and one insight particularly struck me: "Their happiness is their responsibility, not yours."
While this is true, it doesn't mean we abandon empathy or basic human compassion.
Some people interpret emotional boundaries as permission to be emotionally absent.
They'll tell you to "get over it" when you're grieving or launch into their own problems when you need support.
This reveals an inability to hold space for others' emotions, often because they can't handle their own.
Final thoughts
Recognizing these behaviors in others helps protect us from toxic relationships and poor character, but here's something I've learned through both professional observation and personal growth: Sometimes, we need to check ourselves too.
We all have moments where we fall short.
The difference between low-quality and high-quality character is the willingness to recognize our flaws, take accountability, and genuinely work to do better.
People with strong character make mistakes but own them. They hurt others sometimes but apologize sincerely and change their behavior.
If you've recognized some of these patterns in people around you, trust your instincts.
Character reveals itself through consistent behaviors.
If you've recognized any of these in yourself? Well, awareness is the first step toward growth!
The fact that you're reflecting on it already sets you apart from those who never will.
