If you’re a boomer and relate to these 8 things, your social status is higher than you think

Let’s be honest: the internet loves to tell boomers their time has passed.

But when I look around—at my neighbors, my readers, my own family—I see something different. I see quiet power. I see people who don’t splash status across social feeds but shape the room without saying much.

If that sounds like you, your social standing is likely higher than you realize.

Here are eight signs that give it away.

1. People ask for your advice—and they actually follow it

Do younger colleagues ping you before they pitch? Do friends call when the stakes are high, not just to vent but to decide? That’s social status in action.

Influence isn’t about the loudest voice; it’s about whose opinion changes the outcome. When your phone rings for big choices—career moves, family finances, health crossroads—that’s a subtle vote: You’re the steady hand here.

As Adam Grant puts it, “The most meaningful way to succeed is to help other people succeed.”

When your wisdom becomes other people’s unfair advantage, you’re not just liked—you’re leveraged. 

Try this: the next time someone asks what you’d do, walk them through how you think. Teach a framework, not just an answer. That cements your role as a trusted guide, not a one-off fix.

2. You’re a connector in your community

You know the yoga teacher who’s opening a new studio, the produce vendor with the sweetest peaches, and the city council member who actually returns emails.

When someone needs a plumber, a mentor, or a local cause to support, they ask you.

That’s social capital—your network, reputation, and the reciprocity you’ve built over decades. Sociologist Robert Putnam defines social capital as “connections among individuals—social networks and the norms of reciprocity and trustworthiness that arise from them.”

If you notice your name popping up in email intros—“Looping in Susan, she’ll know who to call”—that’s a status marker. Keep nurturing it. Say yes to small asks when you can, and make thoughtful, double-opt-in introductions. Your community power compounds.

3. You’re tapped for roles of trust (even when you didn’t volunteer)

Somehow you ended up treasurer of the HOA, board chair for the neighborhood nonprofit, or executor of an old friend’s will. It’s not random. People hand responsibility to those they perceive as reliable, ethical, and competent.

I felt this after leaving my finance job. I thought I’d left spreadsheets behind, yet I kept getting asked to “just take a look at the numbers.”

I resisted at first, then realized: this wasn’t about math—it was about trust. My reputation for steadiness made people feel safe. That’s status, stripped of flash.

If you want fewer formal roles, set boundaries. But recognize that being the person others trust with their reputations (and money) is a high compliment.

4. Your calendar is full by invitation, not obligation

Status isn’t the number of events you attend; it’s how many choose you. When your weekends fill with dinners people actually planned in advance—and with people you enjoy—that signals you’re a valued presence.

Boomers with quiet status are selective. You’ve learned what’s worth your time. Saying “I can’t this week—how about next month?” doesn’t lower your value; it raises it. Scarcity signals importance. You’re not playing hard to get—you just live a full life.

Here’s a simple tweak that amplifies this without being aloof: when you decline, suggest a specific alternative (date, place, idea). It shows you’re not avoiding people; you’re curating your energy.

5. Younger people mirror your habits

Notice a nephew starting a weekly phone call with his parents after watching you prioritize your sister? A junior colleague adopting your “walk-and-talk” style for tough conversations? Mirroring is a quiet form of respect.

This happens a lot around technology, interestingly. You may not chase every new app, but you’re fluent enough to be effective—and disciplined enough to put the phone down at dinner.

That mix of competence and boundaries is rare. It sets a cultural tone.

If you’re seeing your rhythms echoed—Sunday food prep, debt-free living, thank-you notes—you’re leading without a megaphone. Keep modeling. People absorb what you do far more than what you post.

6. You host gatherings that people remember

Have you noticed how your home seems to magnetize people on holidays… and random Tuesdays? Hosting is more than cooking; it’s curation.

You set the seating so unlikely friendships happen. You remember who’s newly gluten-free. You text the playlist afterward because someone asked for that vintage Al Green track.

Maya Angelou said it best: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” When folks leave your place feeling seen, fed, and lighter—that’s social status, the nourishing kind.

Don’t underestimate the power of rituals here—first-friday soup nights, porch coffees at sunrise, “bring your awkward salad” potlucks.

Hospitality is leadership in comfy pants.

7. Your name travels ahead of you

If you walk into a room and someone says, “Oh, I’ve heard about you,” take note. That’s reputation—status that arrives early.

What do people “hear”? Usually, three things: that you’re fair, you follow through, and you don’t make everything about you. None of those require celebrity, money, or perfect skin. They require consistency.

Over time, consistency outcompetes charisma.

I think back to volunteering at the farmers’ market. I started by filling in one Saturday when a friend was sick. Months later, new vendors I’d never met were saying, “You’re Avery, right? You’re the one who sorted out the permits snafu.”

I wasn’t angling for clout; I was doing what needed doing. The story traveled anyway.

Pro tip: every so often, ask a trusted friend, “What’s the first sentence people say about me?” It’s a mirror. If you like it, double down. If not, you can edit the story by changing small behaviors.

8. Your generosity shapes opportunities for others

Keith Ferrazzi once wrote, “The currency of real networking is not greed but generosity.” When you quietly sponsor someone—recommending them for a gig, reviewing their proposal, or lending your credibility—you’re doing work only high-status people can do well.

A telltale sign? People you’ve helped don’t just thank you; they pay it forward. Your influence creates ripples you’ll never fully see.

If you want to lean into this without burning out, define your “generosity lane.” Maybe it’s reviewing resumes for friends of friends. Maybe it’s one intro a week. Maybe it’s coaching first-gen college grads on networking.

Focus beats fatigue—and it amplifies your impact.

Final thoughts

If you recognized yourself in even a few of these, take a breath: you’re not “past your prime.” You’re the steady center of gravity in a jittery world.

The trick is to own it without turning it into a performance. Keep sharing what you know. Keep learning what you don’t. Set clean boundaries. Be generous on purpose.

And remember: status isn’t measured by followers—it’s felt in the way people lean toward you when it’s time to decide, to gather, to grow.

You’ve built a life that speaks for itself. Let it keep speaking.