While everyone else was chasing spotlight moments, I was cataloging all the ways I felt invisible—until I discovered that my supposed flaws were actually rare superpowers hiding in plain sight.
Ever feel like you're watching everyone else's highlight reel while you're stuck in your own behind-the-scenes footage?
I spent decades convinced I was utterly, painfully ordinary. While friends were getting promoted to partner, starting successful businesses, or winning awards, I was just... there. A face in the crowd. Another professional going through the motions, coming home to journal about how unremarkable my life felt.
The funny thing about feeling ordinary? You become an expert at cataloging all the ways you don't measure up. Trust me, I had the list memorized. But somewhere between filling my 47th journal and finally accepting that my brain works differently than most people's, I discovered something shocking.
Those things I'd been dismissing as quirks, flaws, or just "the way I am"? They were actually what made me exceptional. Not in a participation-trophy kind of way, but genuinely, authentically exceptional.
If you're nodding along, feeling that familiar ache of ordinariness, I need you to know something. You're probably missing what makes you extraordinary too.
1. You notice patterns others completely miss
Remember that person at work who always gets credit for "brilliant insights" during meetings? There's a good chance you spotted the same trend three weeks earlier but stayed quiet because you thought it was obvious.
I used to sit in finance meetings, watching colleagues present data, and think, "Can't everyone see where this is heading?" Spoiler alert: they couldn't. What felt like common sense to me was actually a rare ability to connect dots that seemed miles apart to others.
When I started mentoring young women entering finance, one of them asked me how I always knew which investments would tank. The truth? I wasn't psychic. I just noticed patterns in human behavior, market psychology, and historical trends that created a kind of roadmap in my mind.
If you find yourself thinking "How did they not see that coming?" more often than seems normal, congratulations. Your brain is doing something special.
2. Your empathy runs deeper than surface level
Most people can recognize when someone's upset. You? You probably know why they're upset, what they need to hear, and exactly what not to say, all within seconds of them walking into the room.
This used to exhaust me. I'd come home from work feeling like I'd absorbed everyone's emotions like some kind of human sponge. But then I realized something. While others were having surface conversations, I was building connections that actually mattered.
A colleague once told me I was the only person who noticed she was struggling after her promotion. Everyone else saw success. I saw someone drowning in imposter syndrome. That ability to see beyond the mask? That's not ordinary. That's exceptional.
3. You remember tiny details that create huge impacts
You know how some people forget your name five seconds after meeting you? You're not those people. You remember that your coworker's daughter plays violin, that your neighbor is allergic to shellfish, and that your friend mentioned wanting to read that specific book six months ago.
These aren't just random facts cluttering your brain. They're the building blocks of genuine connection. When you show up with that book as a surprise gift or remember to ask about the violin recital, you're doing something most people can't or won't do.
4. Your overthinking is actually deep processing
Society loves to shame overthinkers. "You're too in your head," they say. "Just go with the flow."
But here's what they don't understand. While they're making snap decisions they'll regret later, you're running complex scenarios, considering multiple perspectives, and arriving at solutions that actually stick.
That decision I made at 37 to leave my six-figure salary? Everyone thought I was crazy for taking so long to decide. But those months of "overthinking" meant I'd already solved problems that wouldn't surface until year two of self-employment. My overthinking was actually strategic planning in disguise.
5. You've turned your struggles into wisdom
Those challenges you've faced? The ones you think make you damaged or less than? They've actually given you a PhD in resilience that no university could provide.
Being labeled "gifted" in elementary school nearly broke me. The pressure to be perfect, to never struggle, to always have the answer, it was suffocating. But that experience taught me something invaluable about the weight of expectations and how to help others escape that trap.
Your struggles haven't made you ordinary. They've made you wise in ways that people who've had easier paths could never understand.
6. Your quietness is actually careful observation
In a world that rewards the loudest voice in the room, being quiet can feel like a disadvantage. But while everyone else is talking, you're gathering intelligence.
You notice body language shifts, hear what's not being said, and pick up on group dynamics that completely escape the conversation dominators. By the time you do speak, you've got insights that stop people in their tracks.
I learned to be the friend who listens instead of the friend who problem-solves everything. Turns out, that made me the person everyone wanted to talk to when things got real.
7. You create more than you consume
Scroll through most people's phones and you'll find endless consumption. Social media, videos, games. Check yours and there's probably something different. Maybe it's voice memos full of ideas, photos of things you've made, or notes for projects that excite you.
Those 47 notebooks I've filled? They're not just journals. They're evidence of a mind that processes life by creating something from it. Whether you write, draw, build, code, garden, or cook, you're adding to the world rather than just taking from it.
8. Your standards protect your energy
People might call you picky, difficult, or "too much." What they're really saying is that you won't settle for relationships, jobs, or situations that drain your soul.
This isn't about being better than anyone. It's about recognizing that your energy is precious and choosing to invest it wisely. While others are stuck in toxic situations because they're afraid to be alone or start over, you've learned that ordinary isn't worth your exceptional energy.
9. You see possibilities where others see problems
When something breaks, do you immediately think of three ways to fix it? When someone says "that's impossible," does your brain start generating solutions?
This isn't just optimism. It's a rare ability to hold multiple realities in your mind simultaneously. You can see what is while also seeing what could be. That's the kind of thinking that changes things.
The truth about feeling ordinary
Here's what took me forty-something years to figure out: feeling ordinary isn't about being average. It's about measuring yourself with the wrong ruler.
We live in a world that celebrates certain types of exceptional. The loud, the obvious, the Instagram-worthy. But real exceptional? It's quieter. It's the friend who remembers your coffee order after two years. It's the colleague who notices you're struggling before you say a word. It's the person who creates solutions while everyone else is still complaining about problems.
You've spent your whole life feeling ordinary because you've been comparing your backstage to everyone else's spotlight. But exceptional isn't about the show. It's about the substance.
So next time you catch yourself feeling unremarkable, remember this. The things that make you feel different, difficult, or weird? Those are your superpowers. You just need to stop apologizing for them and start owning them.
Your ordinary is someone else's impossible. And that makes you exceptional.
