9 tiny courtesies people skip that make others silently lose respect for them

Ever notice how the smallest gestures can completely change how you feel about someone?

Last week, I was at the farmers' market where I volunteer, and I watched a customer completely ignore the vendor's greeting while scrolling through their phone. They grabbed their produce, paid without looking up, and walked away without a single word of thanks. The vendor's shoulders slumped just slightly. It was such a tiny moment, but it stuck with me.

We often think respect is lost through big betrayals or major conflicts. But honestly? Most of the time, it's the little things we skip that slowly erode how others see us. These tiny courtesies take almost no effort, yet when we miss them, people notice. They might not say anything, but trust me, they're keeping score.

Let me share nine small acts of consideration that, when skipped, make people quietly think less of us.

1. Not putting your phone away during conversations

You know that feeling when you're mid-sentence and the person you're talking to starts scrolling? Yeah, that one.

I used to be guilty of this myself. During my finance days, I'd justify it as being "always available" for urgent market updates. But here's what I learned: nothing says "you don't matter to me" quite like choosing your screen over someone's face.

When someone is talking to you, put the phone down. Flip it over. Better yet, put it in your pocket. Those notifications can wait three minutes. The person in front of you? They're giving you something irreplaceable: their time and attention. Return the favor.

2. Forgetting to say "please" and "thank you"

Sounds basic, right? Yet I'm amazed how often these magic words disappear, especially when we're dealing with service workers.

Think about it: when was the last time you thanked the person bagging your groceries? Or said please when asking a coworker for help? These words cost nothing but mean everything. They acknowledge that someone is doing something for you, not because they have to, but because they're choosing to help.

I've noticed that people who consistently use these simple courtesies are the ones others genuinely want to be around. Coincidence? I don't think so.

3. Not acknowledging people who hold doors

Picture this: someone sees you coming and holds the door open. You breeze through without a word, maybe because you're thinking about your to-do list or checking your phone. That person just did you a kindness, and you acted like they were invisible.

A simple nod, smile, or "thanks" takes literally one second. Skip it, and you've just told that person their gesture meant nothing to you. Do it repeatedly, and people start seeing you as someone who takes others for granted.

4. Interrupting or talking over others

During my trail runs, I often think about conversations from the week. You know which ones replay in my head? The ones where I got so excited about my point that I cut someone off mid-thought.

When you interrupt, you're essentially saying, "What I have to say is more important than what you're saying." Even if that's not your intention, that's the message received.

Try this instead: when you feel the urge to jump in, take a breath. Count to two after they finish speaking. Not only will you avoid interrupting, but you might actually hear something you would have missed.

5. Being late without acknowledging it

We all run late sometimes. Traffic happens. Meetings run over. Life gets messy. But walking in ten minutes late like nothing happened? That's when respect starts slipping away.

A former colleague of mine was chronically late to everything. Not by hours, just five to fifteen minutes. But she never acknowledged it. No apology, no explanation, nothing. Eventually, people stopped inviting her to things. They didn't make a big announcement about it; they just quietly left her off the list.

Being late occasionally is human. Acting like your lateness doesn't affect others? That's when people lose respect.

6. Not returning borrowed items promptly

Remember that book you borrowed six months ago? Or that sweater your friend lent you that's been sitting in your closet? Yeah, they remember too.

When someone lends you something, they're trusting you. Keeping it indefinitely, even if you "forgot," sends the message that you don't value their property or their trust. I've seen friendships quietly fade over unreturned items. Not because of the item itself, but because of what keeping it represents.

7. Checking out during introductions

You're at a gathering, someone introduces you to their friend, and within seconds, you've forgotten their name because you weren't really listening. We've all been there, but making this a habit shows a fundamental lack of interest in others.

Here's a trick I learned: when someone tells you their name, immediately use it in your response. "Nice to meet you, Sarah." It helps you remember and shows you're actually present in the moment.

8. Not cleaning up after yourself in shared spaces

Whether it's leaving dishes in the office sink, not wiping down gym equipment, or leaving your stuff scattered in common areas, this one drives people crazy. And they rarely say anything directly.

I once worked with someone who always left their coffee mug in the sink "to soak." Every. Single. Day. People started avoiding the break room when they knew this person would be there. The lack of consideration for shared space translated into a lack of respect for the person overall.

Taking thirty seconds to clean up after yourself shows you recognize that other people exist and matter.

9. Forgetting to follow up when you say you will

"Let's grab coffee soon!" "I'll send you that article!" "I'll check and get back to you!"

How many times have you said these things and then... nothing? When you make these small promises and don't follow through, people learn they can't count on your word, even for tiny things. And if they can't trust you with the small stuff, why would they trust you with anything bigger?

I started keeping a simple note in my phone for these casual commitments. Game changer. People noticed and started seeing me as someone who actually follows through.

The bottom line

None of these courtesies require special skills or extra time. They're not about being perfect or overly polite. They're about recognizing that other people are, well, people. With feelings, time constraints, and their own struggles.

The beautiful thing? Start incorporating even a few of these small gestures, and watch how people respond to you differently. They might not be able to put their finger on what changed, but they'll feel it. They'll want to be around you more. They'll trust you more. They'll respect you more.

Respect isn't just earned through grand gestures or major accomplishments. Most of the time, it's built through these tiny, everyday moments of consideration. The moments where we choose to see others, acknowledge them, and show them they matter.

So next time you're tempted to skip one of these small courtesies because you're busy or distracted, remember: it takes just seconds to show someone respect, but the impact lasts much longer.