Discover why that constant need to say "sorry" for your life choices, from prioritizing your health to saying no to babysitting, is holding you back from the most liberating decade of your life.
Remember when turning 60 meant slowing down and fading into the background? Yeah, me neither. Because if you're a boomer in your 60s, you're probably busier than ever, juggling everything from encore careers to caring for grandkids to finally pursuing those dreams you put on hold.
Yet somehow, I keep hearing from readers in their 60s who feel like they need to apologize for... well, everything. For taking up space, for having opinions, for not fitting into outdated stereotypes about what this decade should look like.
Here's what I've learned from my own journey and from watching my father navigate his 60s: the constant apologizing needs to stop. When my dad had his heart attack at 68, one of his biggest regrets was spending so much time worrying about what others thought instead of living on his own terms.
If you're ready to stop shrinking yourself and start owning this incredible chapter of your life, let's talk about the nine things you need to stop apologizing for, starting today.
1. Prioritizing your health and fitness
How many times have you said sorry for needing to leave early for a doctor's appointment? Or felt guilty about spending money on a gym membership?
Your body has carried you through six decades of life. It deserves your attention and care, not your apologies. When I picked up trail running at 28 to cope with work stress, older colleagues would roll their eyes at my "exercise obsession." Now, running 20-30 miles a week, I see plenty of 60-somethings on those trails who inspire me every single day.
Taking that yoga class, scheduling regular checkups, or saying no to plans because you need rest isn't selfish. Your health is the foundation for everything else you want to do in life. Stop apologizing for maintaining it.
2. Setting boundaries with adult children
"Sorry, I can't watch the kids this weekend."
"Sorry, but I already have plans."
"Sorry, I need some time for myself."
Sound familiar? You've spent decades putting your children first. Now that they're adults, you're allowed to have your own life. Really.
Setting boundaries doesn't make you a bad parent or grandparent. It makes you a person with needs, desires, and limits. Your adult children will respect you more when you respect yourself enough to say no sometimes.
A client once told me she felt guilty every time she traveled without visiting her grown kids. But here's the thing: modeling healthy boundaries teaches your children to set their own. Plus, you've earned the right to enjoy your freedom.
3. Changing careers or starting new ventures
Who decided that career ambitions have an expiration date? Not me, and definitely not the millions of boomers launching businesses, changing careers, or going back to school in their 60s.
When I left my six-figure corporate salary at 37 to pursue writing, people thought I was having a mid-life crisis. But that decision, born from experiencing burnout at 36 and going through therapy, taught me that success looks different for everyone.
You know what? Your 60s might be the perfect time for that career pivot. You have experience, wisdom, and probably fewer financial obligations than you did at 40. Want to start that consulting business? Write that novel? Become a yoga instructor? Do it. No apologies needed.
4. Your technology comfort level
Whether you're a tech wizard or someone who still prefers phone calls to texts, your relationship with technology is your business. Stop apologizing for asking questions about new apps. Stop saying sorry for preferring email over Slack. And definitely stop apologizing if you choose not to be on social media.
Technology should serve you, not the other way around. Learn what helps you stay connected and productive, ignore what doesn't, and never apologize for going at your own pace.
5. Dating and intimacy
Romance doesn't retire at 60. Neither does desire, passion, or the need for companionship. Yet so many boomers feel like they need to justify or downplay new relationships.
A friend's mother, widowed at 62, felt she had to explain to everyone why she was dating again just six months later. She kept saying things like, "I know it seems soon, but..."
Love, intimacy, and connection are human needs that don't disappear with age. Whether you're dating, remarrying, or enjoying your sexuality in whatever way feels right to you, own it. Your romantic life is nobody's business but your own.
6. Spending your money how you choose
You've worked hard for decades. You've likely raised a family, paid off a mortgage, and been responsible with your finances. So why do you feel guilty about that expensive vacation or the sports car you've always wanted?
This isn't about being reckless with money. This is about recognizing that you've earned the right to enjoy what you've built. Want to travel first class? Buy that boat? Splurge on good wine? Go for it.
Your financial choices are yours to make. As long as you're not hurting anyone or jeopardizing your security, spend without guilt.
7. Saying no to babysitting duties
Grandchildren are wonderful. Being available 24/7 for free childcare? Not so much.
You love your grandkids, but you're not an on-demand babysitting service. Having plans, needing a break, or simply not being in the mood doesn't make you a bad grandparent. It makes you human.
One reader told me she finally started charging her daughter a nominal fee for regular babysitting. Not because she needed the money, but because it helped establish that her time had value. Brilliant, right?
8. Your political and social views
Whether you've shifted left, right, or completely changed your worldview over the years, your opinions are valid. You don't need to apologize for evolving, nor do you need to apologize for holding firm to long-held beliefs.
You've lived through massive social changes. You've seen history unfold. Your perspective, informed by decades of experience, deserves to be heard without apology or disclaimer.
Speak your truth respectfully, but speak it boldly. Your voice matters.
9. Taking up space in the world
This might be the biggest one. How often do you make yourself smaller, quieter, less visible because you think that's what's expected?
You apologize for speaking up in meetings. You say sorry when someone bumps into you. You downplay your accomplishments and minimize your presence.
But here's what I know: you've earned every inch of space you occupy. Your experiences, wisdom, and perspective are invaluable. The world needs what you have to offer.
When I made the decision not to have children, I spent years apologizing for it, explaining it, justifying it. Then I realized something powerful: I don't owe anyone an explanation for how I live my life. Neither do you.
Final thoughts
Your 60s aren't about fading away or making yourself smaller to fit someone else's idea of aging. This decade can be one of the most liberating, authentic periods of your life if you let it.
Every time you catch yourself starting to apologize for these things, pause. Ask yourself: am I actually sorry, or am I just trying to make others more comfortable with my choices?
The truth is, you've spent enough years putting others first, meeting expectations, and playing by rules you didn't write. Your 60s are your time to unapologetically be yourself.
Stop asking for permission. Stop shrinking. Stop apologizing for being exactly who you are.
Because from where I'm standing, who you are is pretty incredible. And it's about time you started seeing it that way too.
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