8 phrases people with refined social skills never use at work that average people say daily without thinking

Ever walk away from a conversation at work feeling like you somehow diminished yourself without knowing exactly how? I've been there.

During my years as a financial analyst, I remember sitting in a meeting where I'd just presented a complex market analysis that took me weeks to prepare.

When the CEO complimented my work, I immediately responded with, "Oh, it was really nothing special, just basic stuff." The room went quiet for a second. Later, my mentor pulled me aside and asked why I'd just convinced everyone my work wasn't valuable.

That moment was a wake-up call. I started paying attention to the phrases I used daily, and more importantly, I began noticing what successful colleagues with real presence never said. The difference was striking.

Here's what I've learned: people with refined social skills understand that every word matters, especially at work. They've eliminated certain phrases from their vocabulary that most of us throw around without thinking. Today, I want to share eight of these phrases that could be holding you back professionally.

1. "This might be a stupid question, but..."

How often do you hear this in meetings? Maybe you've said it yourself?

When you preface your question this way, you're essentially asking everyone to lower their expectations before you've even spoken. You're apologizing for taking up space, for thinking, for being curious. The people I've observed who command respect in professional settings never do this. They simply ask their questions directly.

Think about it: if you genuinely believed your question was stupid, would you ask it? Of course not. What you're really doing is protecting yourself from potential judgment. But here's the paradox: by trying to shield yourself, you're actually inviting the very judgment you fear.

Instead, just ask the question. "What's our timeline for implementation?" sounds infinitely more confident than "This might be a stupid question, but what's our timeline for implementation?" Your curiosity and desire for clarity are assets, not liabilities.

2. "I'm sorry to bother you"

This phrase haunted my early career. Every email, every knock on someone's door, every request for help started with this self-deprecating opener.

The psychology behind this is fascinating. We think we're being polite, but what we're actually communicating is that our needs are less important than whatever the other person is doing. People with strong social skills understand that professional interactions aren't intrusions; they're part of the job.

A colleague once told me something that changed my perspective entirely: "When you apologize for needing my input, you're suggesting that helping you isn't part of my role. But collaboration is literally why we're all here."

Try replacing this with "Do you have a few minutes?" or "When would be a good time to discuss this?" You're still being respectful of their time without diminishing the importance of your request.

3. "I could be wrong, but..."

During my transition from finance to writing, I noticed successful writers and editors never hedged their opinions this way. They stated their perspectives clearly, even when those perspectives were subjective.

When you constantly question your own judgment before others have a chance to consider it, you're training people not to trust you. You're literally telling them you might not know what you're talking about. Why would anyone have confidence in someone who doesn't have confidence in themselves?

This doesn't mean you should be arrogant or inflexible. There's a huge difference between being open to feedback and undermining yourself from the start. State your opinion clearly, then be willing to discuss and adapt if needed.

4. "Does that make sense?"

I used to end every explanation with this phrase, thinking I was being considerate. What I was actually doing was expressing doubt about my own communication skills.

People with refined social skills trust that if someone doesn't understand, they'll ask for clarification. They don't assume confusion before it exists. When you constantly ask if you make sense, you're suggesting that you probably don't.

A simple pause after explaining something gives others the opportunity to ask questions if needed. Or you can say, "What questions do you have?" which assumes competence on your part while still inviting dialogue.

5. "I'll try"

Luke Skywalker might have needed Yoda to tell him "Do or do not, there is no try," but professionals with strong social skills already know this.

"I'll try to get that report to you by Friday" sounds uncommitted and uncertain. Either you can deliver by Friday or you can't. If there are factors outside your control, communicate them. If you need more time, ask for it. But "trying" suggests failure is already on the table.

During my analyst days, I noticed the most respected colleagues never said they'd try. They either committed or explained why they couldn't. "I can have that to you by Friday" or "With my current workload, Monday is more realistic" both sound infinitely more professional than "I'll try."

6. "It's just my opinion"

Of course it's your opinion. You're the one saying it.

This phrase is particularly problematic because it preemptively dismisses your own contribution. I've sat through countless meetings where someone shares a brilliant insight, then immediately deflates it with this phrase. It's like giving someone a gift and then telling them it's probably worthless.

Your opinion, especially in a professional context where you were presumably hired for your expertise and judgment, has value. Own it. If someone disagrees, they will. You don't need to give them permission to dismiss you.

7. "No worries" (when there should be accountability)

This one's tricky because sometimes "no worries" is perfectly appropriate. But I've noticed people with exceptional social skills never use it when someone has genuinely dropped the ball or failed to meet a commitment.

When a colleague misses a deadline that affects your work and you respond with "no worries," you're not being nice. You're failing to establish appropriate boundaries and accountability. You're also training that person that deadlines with you are flexible, whether you mean to or not.

A better response acknowledges the situation while maintaining professionalism: "I understand things happen. Let's figure out how to move forward" or "Thanks for letting me know. What's a realistic timeline?"

8. "I'm not good at..."

Whether it's public speaking, math, technology, or anything else, announcing your weaknesses unprompted is self-sabotage at its finest.

We all have areas for growth. But there's a massive difference between privately working on your weak spots and publicly advertising them. When you tell people you're not good at something before they've had a chance to form their own opinion, you're priming them to see your failures rather than your efforts.

I learned this lesson the hard way when I transitioned to writing. Instead of saying "I'm not good at writing fiction," I started saying "I'm developing my fiction skills." Same reality, completely different energy.

Final thoughts

Changing these speech patterns isn't easy. After nearly two decades in finance, where many of these phrases were part of the culture, retraining my language felt like learning to write with my non-dominant hand.

But here's what I discovered: when you stop undermining yourself with these subtle self-defeating phrases, something shifts. Not just in how others see you, but in how you see yourself. You start taking up the space you deserve. You begin trusting your own judgment. You stop apologizing for existing in professional spaces.

The most socially skilled people I know understand that confidence isn't about never being wrong or never needing help. It's about presenting yourself as someone worthy of respect, someone whose contributions matter, someone who belongs in the room.

Start by picking one or two phrases to eliminate. Notice when you use them, pause, and rephrase. It might feel uncomfortable at first, like you're being too bold or taking up too much space. That discomfort? It's growth. And it's exactly where you need to be.