10 body language habits that make you appear more self-assured instantly

Ever catch yourself slouching in a meeting, then suddenly straightening up when you realize the boss is looking your way?

I used to do this constantly. Back in my finance days, I'd walk into presentations feeling prepared, but my body would tell a completely different story. Hunched shoulders, fidgeting hands, avoiding eye contact. My analytical mind knew the numbers inside out, but my body language screamed "I have no idea what I'm doing here."

It wasn't until a colleague pulled me aside after a particularly rough quarterly review that I realized the disconnect. She said, "You know your stuff better than anyone in that room, so why do you look like you're apologizing for existing?" That hit hard. And it changed everything.

Here's what I've learned since then: confidence isn't just about what's happening in your head. Your body speaks volumes before you even open your mouth. And the beautiful part? You can hack it. Small tweaks to how you carry yourself can instantly shift how others perceive you, and more importantly, how you feel about yourself.

Ready to transform your presence? Let's explore the body language habits that signal self-assurance.

1. Stand like you own the space

Think about the most confident person you know. How do they stand? I bet they take up space without apologizing for it.

When I first started paying attention to this, I noticed I was constantly making myself smaller. Arms crossed, shoulders forward, trying to be invisible. Meanwhile, the executives at my company stood with their feet shoulder-width apart, shoulders back, weight evenly distributed.

Try this right now: Stand up, plant your feet firmly on the ground, roll your shoulders back, and lift your chin slightly. Feel different? That's because your body is sending signals to your brain that you're ready to take on the world.

The key is practicing this stance until it becomes natural. Whether you're waiting for coffee or standing in an elevator, use these moments to practice owning your space.

2. Master the art of eye contact

How often do you look away when someone's talking to you? Or stare at your phone during conversations?

Eye contact used to terrify me. I'd look everywhere but at the person speaking. The floor, my notes, that fascinating spot on the wall. Until I learned that steady eye contact is like a superpower for building trust and showing confidence.

You don't need to stare people down like you're in a western showdown. The trick is to maintain eye contact for about 60-70% of the conversation. When you're listening, look at them. When you're thinking, it's okay to glance away briefly. Then bring your gaze back.

If direct eye contact feels too intense, try looking at the bridge of their nose or between their eyes. They won't know the difference, and you'll appear engaged and confident.

3. Slow down your movements

Quick, jerky movements signal nervousness. Confident people move with intention.

I discovered this during my trail running phase. When I started at 28, I'd rush through everything, trying to prove I belonged on those trails. But watching experienced runners taught me something valuable: they moved with purpose, even when going fast. Every step deliberate, every movement controlled.

Apply this everywhere. When you reach for your coffee, do it smoothly. When you gesture while speaking, make it purposeful. When you turn to look at someone, don't whip your head around. Move like you have all the time in the world.

This doesn't mean moving in slow motion like you're underwater. It means eliminating those fidgety, nervous movements that undermine your presence.

4. Keep your hands visible and still

What do you do with your hands when you're nervous? Hide them in pockets? Pick at your nails? Twirl your hair?

These habits scream insecurity. Confident people keep their hands visible and relatively still. When sitting, rest them on the table or armrests. When standing, let them hang naturally at your sides or use them purposefully to gesture.

I learned this lesson the hard way during a big presentation. I thought I was killing it until I watched the recording later. My hands were all over the place, touching my face, adjusting my collar, clicking my pen. It was distracting and made me look anxious, even though I felt prepared.

Now I practice keeping my hands calm. If I need to move them, I make it count with deliberate gestures that emphasize my points.

5. Mirror strategically

You know how when someone you're comfortable with leans in, you naturally lean in too? That's mirroring, and it builds instant rapport.

But here's the thing: desperate mirroring looks weird. If someone crosses their arms and you immediately do the same, it's obvious and off-putting. The trick is subtle, delayed mirroring.

Notice their general energy level and match it. If they're relaxed and leaning back, don't lean forward intensely. If they gesture while talking, incorporate some natural gestures yourself. Wait a few seconds before mirroring their posture.

This creates subconscious connection and makes you appear confident and socially aware.

6. Stop the self-soothing touches

Touching your face, rubbing your neck, playing with jewelry. We all have self-soothing habits that emerge when we're uncomfortable.

These gestures might comfort you, but they broadcast insecurity to everyone watching. Every time you touch your face during a conversation, you're essentially saying "I'm not comfortable right now."

Breaking these habits takes awareness. Ask a friend to point them out, or record yourself during video calls. Once you know your triggers, you can catch yourself and redirect that nervous energy into something more productive, like taking a deep breath or adjusting your posture.

7. Lead with your body

Want to know a secret? Your body can literally lead you into confidence.

When entering a room, walk in like you're meant to be there. Shoulders back, head up, purposeful stride. Don't slink in hoping no one notices you. Your entrance sets the tone for every interaction that follows.

I practiced this at farmers' markets where I volunteer. At first, I'd shuffle in, looking for somewhere to hide. Now I walk in with purpose, even if I'm just there to sort vegetables. The difference in how people respond is remarkable.

8. Use the power of the pause

Confident people don't rush to fill silence. They pause, think, then speak.

This applies to your body language too. Before responding to someone, take a breath. Let your body settle. This micro-pause communicates that you're thoughtful and in control, not reactive and anxious.

When someone asks you a question, resist the urge to immediately start talking while your brain catches up. Take that beat. Your body will naturally relax, and your response will be stronger for it.

9. Smile genuinely (not constantly)

Are you a chronic smiler? Always grinning, even when discussing serious topics?

Constant smiling often signals nervousness or people-pleasing. Confident people smile when there's reason to smile. Their facial expressions match the conversation.

This doesn't mean walking around with a scowl. It means being authentic with your expressions. Save your smiles for when they're genuine. Your face should reflect engagement and interest, not perpetual agreeability.

10. Take up vocal space too

While not strictly body language, your voice is part of your physical presence. Confident people speak at a measured pace with clear enunciation.

Notice what happens to your voice when you're nervous. Does it get higher? Faster? Quieter? Your vocal cords are muscles that respond to tension. When your body is confident, your voice follows suit.

Practice speaking from your diaphragm, not your throat. Let your words have weight. Don't trail off at the end of sentences. Own your statements with your whole body, voice included.

Final thoughts

Changing your body language feels weird at first. Trust me, I spent weeks feeling like I was playing a character. But here's what I discovered: that "character" was actually the confident version of myself that was always there, just hidden under layers of nervous habits.

You don't need to implement all ten habits at once. Pick one or two that resonate most and practice them until they feel natural. Maybe start with your posture or work on eliminating those self-soothing touches.

Remember, your body and mind are connected. When you change how you carry yourself, you change how you feel. And when you feel more confident, it shows. It's a beautiful feedback loop that starts with something as simple as standing up straight or making eye contact.

The most confident person in the room isn't necessarily the smartest or most accomplished. They're often just the one who's learned to align their body language with their intentions. And that's a skill anyone can develop.