7 things you can say that instantly elevate how people treat you

I grew up between cultures, and now I’m raising a family in São Paulo with a Chilean husband while my parents live in Central Asia. I’m used to reading rooms fast.

When you cross languages and customs all the time, you notice how tiny shifts in what you say change how people respond to you. The right sentence can calm a tense moment, open a door, or set a standard without drama.

Here are seven phrases that have helped me again and again. I use them at home in Itaim Bibi, on calls with clients, and with baristas who already know my coffee order. Try them as written, then adapt to your voice.

1. “Here’s what I can do.”

Most people launch into a long explanation of why something can’t happen. I’ve done it too. It usually backfires. The other person hears obstacles and tension, and they push harder to get what they want.

“Here’s what I can do” shifts the energy. It replaces friction with options. You’re not rejecting the person. You’re proposing a path. Last week a contractor quoted a high price for a small job in our apartment.

Instead of arguing, I said, “Here’s what I can do: I can confirm today and pay a deposit if we reduce the scope to X and schedule for Friday morning.” He agreed on the spot and even thanked me for being decisive.

This sentence also helps with boundaries. When a colleague asks for a same-day turnaround, I’ll say, “Here’s what I can do: I can send a solid draft by 10 a.m. tomorrow.” It sets a limit while signaling partnership. People respect clear limits when they come with a solution. It makes you look reliable and removes the tug-of-war.

2. “You might be right.”

This one took me time. I like being right. Many of us do.

But when I received a tough note on a draft from a client, I paused and tried this line. “You might be right. Walk me through your thinking.” The temperature dropped immediately. We explored her idea, kept some of mine, and finished stronger.

“You might be right” is not surrender. It’s a pressure valve. It gives others a moment of air, which opens them up to hearing you too. It works wonders with family. If my husband and I disagree about bedtime strategy for our daughter, I’ll start with, “You might be right. Let’s try your way tonight, and we’ll compare notes tomorrow.”

The next day we review without blame. The conversation stays focused on the result, not who won.

Try it when a friend challenges your plan, when a senior leader questions your approach, even when a stranger on the internet has a point. You’ll notice people soften. They treat you as rational, which makes them more rational in response.

3. “Help me understand what success looks like for you.”

Clarity is a form of kindness. So many conflicts come from mismatched definitions of success.

When I started asking this at the top of projects, clients began treating me like a strategic partner instead of a pair of hands. You turn on a light. You find out they care more about a strong executive summary than a 20-page report. Or that the real deadline is the board meeting, not the date in the calendar invite.

I also use this at home. On Sunday nights, Matias and I do a quick family sync at the kitchen island after Emilia is asleep. I’ll ask, “What does a great week look like for you?” Sometimes success is three gym sessions and finishing a presentation. Sometimes it’s sleeping better and extra time with Emilia.

We plan around that. It cuts down on resentment because we’re not guessing.

Use this sentence before you commit to anything big. People lean in when they feel seen. They treat you as someone who aligns outcomes, not just tasks.

4. “I hear you. Here’s what I’m taking away.”

Listening earns respect, but reflective listening turns it into action. I picked up this habit after noticing how often people repeat themselves when they don’t feel heard. The loop wastes time.

So I summarize and check it. “I hear you. Here’s what I’m taking away: you want the messaging shorter, you need the top three stats highlighted, and the draft by Wednesday. Is that right?” Nine times out of ten, the other person relaxes and says yes.

This small move shows you’re attentive and accountable. People treat you better because you reduce their mental load. At home, I use it after a tricky daycare update. “I hear you. What I’m taking away is we’ll try an earlier nap and send the new snack list tomorrow.” It soothes nerves.

I also use it after feedback I don’t love. “I hear you. I’m taking away that the tone felt too formal. I’ll rewrite the intro to feel warmer and cut the jargon.” The tone stays constructive, and the relationship gets stronger.

5. “Before we decide, can we list the tradeoffs?”

I’m a routine person. I optimize most days to fit work, cooking, and bedtime stories. Routines help, but decisions still pile up, and fast decisions can be costly. This sentence invites a quick, neutral scan of reality. It prevents shiny-object decisions and avoids blame later.

When I’m considering a new project, I’ll say, “Before we decide, can we list the tradeoffs? If we choose A, we get speed but lower depth. If we choose B, we get quality but a longer timeline.” People shift out of tunnel vision and start treating you like a measured thinker. That label sticks.

It’s also great for friendships. Planning a group trip? “Tradeoffs: cheaper Airbnb outside the center vs pricier stay but walkable. What’s our priority?” You’ll notice fewer passive-aggressive comments later because everyone saw the cost clearly.

A simple list changes tone. It says, “We’re adults. We can hold two truths and choose.” Others mirror that maturity.

6. “Thank you for the heads-up.”

Surprise bad news is never fun. The easiest way to become someone people trust is to reward early honesty.

When a supplier tells me a delay might happen, I say, “Thank you for the heads-up.” Then we problem-solve. They keep looping me in because they don’t fear punishment. I get information sooner, which gives me options.

I use the same words with our nanny if schedules shift. “Thanks for the heads-up. We’ll adjust dinner and bath time.” It keeps the relationship healthy and removes the drama that so often creeps in around logistics.

Gratitude for early signals changes how people treat you. You become the person they warn first. That’s priceless. It protects your projects and your peace.

7. “I’m going to stick with my decision.”

There are moments to flex and moments to stand firm. Many of us wobble at the last second, which invites pressure. A clear sentence like this ends the debate without raising your voice.

When I set boundaries around work windows, I’ll say, “I’m going to stick with my decision to log off at 7 p.m. I’ll pick this up tomorrow morning.” No apology, no extra padding. At first, you might feel a little exposed.

Then you notice what happens. People accept it and often mirror it later.

This line also helps with money talk. If a price isn’t right, I’ll say, “Thanks for the proposal. I’m going to stick with my decision to pass for now.” It signals finality but stays courteous. The door isn’t slammed, it’s just closed for today.

Standing firm once in a while makes your yes count more. Others learn you mean what you say, and they treat your time with care.

A few tips to make these lines work in real life

• Keep your tone calm. The words do half the job. Your voice does the rest.
• Practice in low-stakes situations. Try them with a waiter or during a casual chat before using them in a boardroom.
• Pair words with body language. Sit up, look at the person, and slow your pace. You’ll feel different, and so will they.

I used to worry that being direct would make me seem cold. What I’ve learned is the opposite. Clear language is deeply respectful because it removes guessing. People don’t have to read your mind. They don’t have to brace for a lecture. They can meet you in the middle.

I’ve also learned that warmth and boundaries are not opposites. On our weekly date nights, Matias and I often talk about this. We’re friendly with everyone we meet, but we guard our family time like it’s sacred.

These sentences help me do both. They let me be kind and efficient. They help me show up with integrity even when the day is packed and the sink is full of tiny bottles.

If you want a place to start, pick just one line and use it three times this week. For most people it will be “Here’s what I can do.” Notice how people respond. Notice how you feel. Then add the next one. Small shifts, repeated, change how people see you. And how you see yourself.

Finally, remember that great communication is a loop. When people feel respected, they tend to treat you with more respect. When they feel safe, they open up faster. When they’re clear on expectations, they meet them. You don’t need a script for every situation. You just need a few clean sentences you can reach for under pressure.

I’ll leave you with one more thought I return to often. Good relationships are built one moment at a time. One clear boundary. One generous assumption. One honest question. These seven lines just make those moments easier to create.

They’ve worked for me with clients, with neighbors, with a sleepy toddler who wants one more book. I think they’ll work for you too.