8 things emotionally selfish people do in relationships without realizing it

There's a thin line between self-care and emotional selfishness, especially in relationships.

Emotional selfishness chips away at the core of a relationship, usually without the person realizing they're the source.

They may be completely oblivious to their actions, all while leaving their partners feeling unheard and unimportant.

In this article, we're going to delve into 8 things emotionally selfish people do in relationships without even knowing it. It's time for a reality check; are you guilty of these?

1) They prioritize their needs and wants

One telltale sign of emotional selfishness in relationships is a consistent emphasis on one's own needs and desires.

Emotionally selfish people often place their priorities above those of their partners, without even realizing they're doing it.

It's not about ignoring the other person's needs intentionally. It's more about being oblivious to them, as they're so focused on what they want or need.

This can be as simple as choosing the movie every time you have a date night, or as complex as making career decisions that impact both partners without consulting the other.

Remember, a healthy relationship is about compromise and mutual respect. If you find yourself constantly prioritizing your needs over your partner's, it's time for some self-reflection.

2) They struggle with empathy

Another habit that emotionally selfish people tend to have, often without realizing it, is a lack of empathy.

I remember a time when I had a rough day at work, and all I wanted was a sympathetic ear. Instead, my partner responded with, "Well, my day was even worse..."

It's not necessarily about one-upping people or dismissing their feelings. It's more about being so wrapped up in their own experiences and emotions that they fail to acknowledge the feelings of others.

Emotionally selfish people often find it hard to put themselves in their partner's shoes. They may not do it intentionally, but this lack of empathy can leave their partners feeling invalidated and alone.

It's important to remember that empathy is key in any relationship. If you find yourself struggling to empathize with your partner, it might be a sign that you're being emotionally selfish without even realizing it.

3) They rarely admit they're wrong

Emotionally selfish people often have a hard time admitting when they're wrong.

This can be traced back to a psychological phenomenon known as the "self-serving bias." This bias leads individuals to attribute positive events and successes to their own character and actions, while negative events are blamed on external factors.

In the context of a relationship, this might mean that an emotionally selfish person attributes all the good times to their own efforts, while arguments or disagreements are always the fault of their partner.

If you notice that you're always blaming your partner for the bad times and taking credit for the good ones, it's worth reflecting on whether you're being emotionally selfish.

4) They avoid emotional vulnerability

One common trait of emotionally selfish people is a reluctance to show emotional vulnerability.

Opening up about one's feelings, fears, or insecurities can be scary. But in a healthy relationship, it's essential for building trust and intimacy.

Emotionally selfish people often keep their emotions to themselves, avoiding any form of vulnerability. They may do this out of fear of appearing weak, or because they feel their emotions are too important to share.

But remember, sharing your emotions isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of trust and mutual understanding. If you find yourself frequently avoiding emotional vulnerability, it might be a sign of emotional selfishness.

5) They overlook their partner's feelings

In the hustle and bustle of life, it's easy to overlook the feelings of our partners.

When we're consumed with our own thoughts, emotions, and needs, we might forget to ask about their day, to inquire about their worries, or to simply check in on how they're feeling.

Emotionally selfish people often fall into this trap without realizing it, leaving their partners feeling neglected and unappreciated.

Remember, a relationship is a two-way street. It's about caring for each other's feelings and being there for each other. If you find yourself constantly overlooking your partner's feelings, it might be time to take a step back and evaluate your actions.

6) They take more than they give

There was a time in my life when I found myself always receiving and rarely giving. I'd accept favors, support, and attention from my partner, but I rarely reciprocated.

Relationships are about balance. It's important to both give and receive love, care, and support. However, emotionally selfish people often take more than they give without realizing it.

This imbalance can leave the other person feeling unappreciated and drained. It's crucial to keep an eye on this balance – if you find yourself constantly on the receiving end, it might be time to reassess your behavior.

7) They dismiss their partner's opinions

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and in a relationship, it's crucial to respect each other's viewpoints, even if they differ from our own.

However, emotionally selfish people often dismiss their partner's opinions without realizing it. They may see their own perspectives as more valid or important, leading them to disregard what their partners think or feel.

This dismissive attitude can leave their partners feeling unheard and disrespected. Remember, everyone's opinions are valuable. If you find yourself frequently dismissing your partner's thoughts or feelings, this could be a sign of emotional selfishness.

8) They lack emotional generosity

Perhaps the most telling sign of emotional selfishness is a lack of emotional generosity.

Emotionally generous people are willing to give their time, attention, and care to their partners, even when it's not convenient. They show compassion, empathy, and understanding, even when they're busy or stressed.

Emotionally selfish people, on the other hand, often withhold these things. They may not even realize they're doing it. But this lack of emotional generosity can leave their partners feeling neglected and unloved.

Generosity is at the heart of any successful relationship. If you find yourself lacking in this area, it's crucial to take steps towards becoming more emotionally generous.