9 lipstick shades women over 60 should avoid if they want to look modern

Here's something that bothers me: we tell women to embrace aging gracefully, and then in the same breath, we hand them a list of things to avoid so they don't look "old."

The mixed messages are exhausting, aren't they?

I'll be honest. When I first saw this topic cross my desk, my initial reaction was resistance. After spending years unlearning perfectionism and the constant pressure to optimize every aspect of myself, writing about what women "should avoid" felt wrong.

But then I realized something. There's a difference between prescriptive rules that shame and practical insights that empower. Women over 60 aren't looking for another set of restrictions. They're looking for information that helps them feel confident and authentic.

So let's talk about lipstick shades with that lens. Not as rules, but as considerations. Not as "you'll look old if you wear this," but as "here's what might work better for you now."

Because the goal isn't to look younger. The goal is to look like the best, most vibrant version of yourself at whatever age you are.

1) Extremely dark or black lipsticks

Let's start with the obvious one.

Those deep, dramatic shades that look stunning on a 25-year-old in a nightclub? They tend to read differently on mature skin. The high contrast can emphasize fine lines around the mouth and make teeth appear less bright by comparison.

I learned something similar when I was working 70-hour weeks in finance. I wore severe dark suits thinking they made me look authoritative. It took a friend gently pointing out that I looked exhausted, not powerful, for me to realize the disconnect between intention and effect.

The same principle applies here. If you love drama, you can absolutely still wear it. Just consider bringing the intensity down a notch or two.

2) Overly frosted or shimmery formulas

Here's the thing about shimmer: it reflects light, and light draws attention.

On younger skin, that works beautifully. On mature lips that may have developed some texture over the years, heavy shimmer can actually highlight what you'd rather downplay. The light catches every little line and makes them more visible.

Think about it this way. When I'm trail running early in the morning, the angle of the sunrise shows every detail of the landscape. Beautiful, yes. But it reveals everything. Shimmer does the same thing to your lips.

Cream and satin finishes tend to be far more forgiving. They give you that healthy glow without the magnifying effect.

3) Very pale or nude shades that wash you out

This one surprised me when I first learned about it.

You'd think that subtle, natural shades would always be safe. But as our skin tone shifts with age, what once looked "natural" can actually make us appear tired or unwell.

I remember when my father had his heart attack at 68. Visiting him in the hospital, I noticed how the fluorescent lighting and his pale complexion made him look so much more fragile than he actually was. Color, it turns out, communicates vitality.

If a nude or pale shade makes your lips disappear into your face, it's not doing you any favors. You want definition, not camouflage.

4) True blue-toned reds

Stay with me here, because this gets a bit technical.

Blue-based reds are gorgeous in theory. They make teeth look whiter, they're classic, they're sophisticated. But on mature skin, especially if your lips have lost some of their natural pink tone, these cool reds can actually look harsh.

The contrast becomes too sharp. Your face needs warmth, and cool tones can work against that.

Orange-based reds or warmer berry shades tend to be much more harmonious. They complement rather than compete.

5) Super matte liquid lipsticks that emphasize texture

Modern matte liquid lipsticks are a feat of cosmetic engineering. They last forever, they don't budge, they're incredibly pigmented.

They're also unforgiving.

Those ultra-dry formulas settle into every line and crease. They can make lips look thinner and more textured than they actually are. During my years of battling perfectionism, I would have loved the control these lipsticks promise. But I've learned that flexibility often serves us better than rigidity.

Your lips change as you age. They may be a bit drier, a bit thinner, with more natural texture. That's not a flaw. But fighting it with the most matte formula available isn't the answer either.

Look for hydrating formulas with a soft matte or satin finish instead.

6) Bright neon or electric shades

Do you remember the neon trend that swept through a few years back? Hot pink, electric coral, bright orange?

Fun, yes. Flattering on mature skin? Usually not.

These shades require a very specific backdrop to work. They need that plump, smooth, evenly-toned canvas that younger skin typically provides. On mature skin, they can look costume-like rather than chic.

This doesn't mean you can't wear color. I'm all for color. I grow native pollinator plants specifically because I love the riot of different hues in my garden. But in both gardening and makeup, it's about choosing shades that work with your existing palette, not against it.

Softer, more muted versions of these shades will give you the same energy without the jarring effect.

7) Brown lipsticks that are too similar to your skin tone

Browns are tricky.

The right brown can be sophisticated and modern. The wrong brown makes you look like you raided a makeup counter from 1993 and not in a good way.

If your brown lipstick is too close to your natural skin tone, it creates this odd effect where your lips seem to disappear, but not in an elegant way. In a "where did my mouth go?" way.

When I transitioned from finance to writing, I had to develop a completely new professional identity. I learned that being invisible wasn't the same as being understated. The same applies here. You want elegance, not erasure.

8) Orange-toned lipsticks if you have cool undertones

This is where understanding your undertones becomes crucial.

Not every color works for every person, regardless of age. If you have cool undertones in your skin, warm orange lipsticks will always look off. They'll clash rather than complement.

I see this same principle in my work analyzing human behavior. We can't force something to fit just because we think it should. We have to work with what's actually there.

If orange isn't your color at 30, it won't magically become your color at 60. Trust what you know about yourself.

9) Anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or "not yourself"

Here's the truth that underlies all of this: the worst lipstick shade is the one that makes you feel like you're wearing a costume.

I spent years in corporate finance wearing what I thought I should wear, saying what I thought I should say, being who I thought I should be. The relief I felt when I finally started making choices based on my authentic preferences rather than external expectations was profound.

Your lipstick should make you feel more like yourself, not less. If a shade doesn't light you up when you look in the mirror, it doesn't matter what any beauty guide says. It's not your shade.

Final thoughts

Let me be clear about something. These aren't rules. They're observations based on how color, texture, and contrast work on mature skin.

You can absolutely wear any of these shades if you love them and they make you feel good. The point isn't restriction. The point is information that helps you make choices aligned with how you want to show up in the world.

After leaving a career where I was constantly told how to look, act, and present myself, I'm deeply skeptical of prescriptive beauty rules. I had to confront my own perfectionism and learn that "good enough" is actually better than "perfect" because perfect doesn't exist.

The same applies to makeup. There's no perfect shade. There's just the shade that makes you feel vibrant, confident, and authentically you.

So take what resonates from this list and leave the rest. Try things. Experiment. Break the rules if breaking them brings you joy.

Because looking modern isn't really about following trends or avoiding certain colors. Looking modern is about wearing whatever makes you feel alive, present, and unapologetically yourself at whatever age you happen to be.