Psychology says if you keep buying these 9 things, you’re likely confusing spending with self-care

There’s something undeniably comforting about clicking “add to cart” after a long, stressful week.

Maybe it’s the new candle that promises relaxation, the boutique skincare product claiming to restore balance, or the late‑night food delivery that feels like a well‑deserved treat.

We tell ourselves these little indulgences are self‑care—but psychology suggests they may actually be something else: emotional spending disguised as healing.

Don’t get me wrong: there’s nothing inherently wrong with treating yourself.

We all deserve joy.

But when we rely too heavily on purchases to soothe, we risk confusing temporary relief with long‑term well‑being.

Research shows the hedonic treadmill—the phenomenon where happiness spikes after new acquisitions only to return to baseline—means that novelty-induced purchases bring short-lived joy.

Here are nine common things people buy under the banner of self‑care—and what psychologists say they really mean.

1. Buying trendy wellness products

From jade rollers to infrared sauna blankets, wellness trends spread like wildfire across social feeds.

Each new gadget comes with the promise of transformation: less stress, glowing skin, more energy.

The problem?

These tools often work less because they're scientifically proven and more because of novelty.

Try instead: Build a ritual with what you already own.

Even two minutes of mindful breathing can regulate your nervous system better than the next trending gadget.

2. Stocking up on overpriced loungewear

There’s an appeal to the perfect set of “soft pants” or branded hoodie that screams comfort.

Nice clothes can boost confidence.

But if you catch yourself constantly scrolling for the next cozy set, it may be less about need and more about craving comfort in material form.

This taps into emotional substitution—using objects to replace unmet emotional needs.

That $120 sweatshirt might not deepen your rest; it just creates the illusion of control.

Try instead: Ask yourself what you really want.

If it's rest or warmth, maybe give yourself permission to take a midday nap or create an evening wind‑down ritual without needing something new.

3. Filling your space with boutique candles

Candles are beautiful—they set a mood, calm a room, and give us sensory satisfaction.

But buying them in bulk, especially pricey wellness-marketed ones, can be a sign of chasing serenity through spending.

Scent links strongly to emotion and memory, making candles feel like self‑care, and to some degree it is. 

But if you're relying on them to create peace, you're skipping deeper practices that actually sustain it.

Try instead: Light the candles you already own—and pair them with something grounding, like journaling or mindful breathing.

Let the scent amplify an intentional ritual rather than serve as the ritual itself.

4. Splurging on one-time beauty treatments

Face masks, bath bombs, spa‑day kits—they all promise “me time.”

And yes, they can feel relaxing in the moment.

But bought impulsively, they often trap us in retail therapy cycles—seeking quick fixes for emotional lows.

These treatments rarely address the roots of stress or fatigue, so once the mask is off, the stress remains.

Try instead: Focus on consistent rituals like nightly skincare, stretching, or regular baths—simple, at-home practices that nourish over time.

5. Paying for subscriptions you rarely use

Meditation apps, wellness memberships, niche fitness platforms—they’re marketed as investments in your mental health.

Yet how many lie unused, silently charging your card?

This reflects the intention–behavior gap—our plans to improve don’t always translate into action.

Try instead: Audit your subscriptions.

Keep only what you truly use.

Better yet, swap them for free alternatives—guided meditations on YouTube, podcasts, or journaling practices.

6. Using food delivery as comfort

Ordering takeout after a rough day can feel like a kindness to yourself.

“I’m giving myself a break from cooking,” we think.

But over time, emotional eating through delivery becomes less about nourishment and more about numbing.

Psychology frames this as reward substitution—when we can't fix the actual stressor, we opt for small, immediate pleasures like pad thai at the door.

Try instead: Reconnect with simple cooking.

If comfort is the goal, make a basic meal—even avocado toast.

Cooking (even lightly) grounds you in your body, giving more lasting satisfaction than any takeout bag.

7. Buying fast-fashion “just this once”

Maybe it’s the $15 shirt from a flash sale.

Maybe it’s a last‑minute haul “just for the dopamine.”

Fast fashion plays on impulse-buy mechanisms—urgency, scarcity, the thrill of novelty.

Psychologists warn that these “just this once” purchases often mask emotional avoidance—soothing stress or insecurity with something disposable instead of addressing the root need.

Try instead: Pause and ask, “Will this still matter in a week?”

If the answer is no, redirect that impulse into something restorative—a walk, a call with a friend, or simply pausing.

8. Collecting novelty teas and mocktails

Wellness‑branded beverages—calming teas, sparkling adaptogen tonics, mood‑boosting mocktails—have skyrocketed in popularity.

They’re marketed as liquid self‑care.

And yes, a warm cup can soothe.

But when your cupboard overflows, ask whether it's hydration or habit.

This taps into the placebo effect in consumer behavior—we expect a product to uplift our mood simply because of its label—not because it supports sustained practice.

Try instead: Ritualize the act itself.

Brew what you have, sit quietly, and savor it.

The care lies in the mindful pause, not the label on the box.

9. Chasing one-off “treat yourself” experiences

A spa day, massage, or sound‑bath workshop can be blissful treats.

But when they become frequent, costly “fixes,” they shift from luxury to dependence.

Psychologists call this emotional escapism—using external experiences to avoid internal discomfort.

While uplifting in the moment, these don’t always integrate into daily life, so we chase the next event for missing calm.

Try instead: Embrace micro-experiences.

A 15‑minute phone‑free walk, a nightly stretch, a midday nap—simple, free rituals that build self‑care into everyday life.

Reframing what self-care really is

Here’s what many trends overlook: self‑care isn’t a product.

It's not found in the checkout line or delivery cart.

Real self‑care is often unglamorous—sleeping eight hours, drinking water, setting boundaries, saying no.

Buying into the idea that healing costs a dime distracts us from practices that truly help.

Psychology reminds us that intentional routines, not material purchases, regulate our nervous systems, calm stress, and bring real joy.

So next time you feel the pull to “treat yourself,” pause and ask:

Does this nourish beyond today? Or is it a short-lived fix?

The takeaway

There’s nothing wrong with indulging in candles, skincare, or cozy hoodies.

But when purchases become our fallback for feeling cared for, it’s time to pause.

Real self-care often looks less like shopping and more like slowing down.

It’s in daily pauses, simple rituals, and consistent choices—not in the cart.

As I’ve learned: grounding self-care in small, sustainable habits means I rely less on my cart to fill emotional gaps.

In that shift, the peace feels deeper—and far more real.