Most of these habits come from unfamiliarity, not stubbornness or lack of care. But small behaviors have big emotional effects, especially on screens where nuance is already limited.
We all have that moment.
Your phone buzzes, you see a familiar name pop up, and before you even answer, your brain runs through a checklist of things that might go wrong.
Bad angles. Accidental muting. Loud background noise. A face way too close to the camera.
Video calls were supposed to make connection easier. Somehow, they also made generational differences way more obvious.
This isn’t about shaming anyone. It’s about recognizing the tiny habits that turn a simple call into something relatives secretly want to escape from.
Here are eight of the most common ones I’ve seen.
1) They answer with their face inches from the camera
You know the one.
The call connects, and suddenly you’re looking at a single eyeball, a forehead, or a very intense close-up of a nose.
It’s rarely intentional. Most of the time, they’re just trying to see if the call actually worked. But from the other side of the screen, it feels invasive in a way no one asked for.
Tech-savvy folks are used to a little distance. A comfortable frame. When that boundary disappears, the instinct is to lean back and mentally check out.
2) They start talking before realizing the call connected
Have you ever answered a video call and immediately heard half a sentence that clearly wasn’t meant for you?
This usually comes with background commentary like “Is it on?” or “Can you see me?” delivered at full volume.
I’ve mentioned this before but timing matters more than people realize. When someone doesn’t pause to orient themselves, the interaction starts off chaotic.
Psychologically, first impressions set the tone. If the first ten seconds feel frantic, the rest of the call has to work harder to recover.
3) They forget the camera is on
This one makes people want to disappear.
The camera comes on, and suddenly you’re watching someone walk away, adjust their clothes, yell to someone off-screen, or do something deeply private like checking their teeth.
There’s a cognitive gap here. Some people treat video calls like phone calls with a bonus feature instead of a live visual space.
For people who grew up with FaceTime and Zoom, the camera feels like a room you’ve invited someone into. When that room gets weird, discomfort follows fast.
4) They hold the phone like it’s a walkie-talkie
Straight up. Shaking. Constant movement.
Instead of propping the phone on a surface, they grip it and talk into it like they’re reporting from the scene.
I once did a call where the camera swung between ceiling fan, chin, and window for five full minutes. By the end, I felt seasick.
Our brains crave visual stability. When the image keeps moving, it creates low-grade stress. Ending the call feels like relief, not rejection.
5) They talk louder instead of checking the mic
When something isn’t working, volume becomes the default solution.
If they can’t hear you clearly, they don’t adjust settings. They just raise their voice.
This usually turns into shouting normal sentences while leaning closer to the screen. The irony is that louder rarely equals clearer.
From a communication psychology standpoint, this creates tension. Raised volume signals urgency or frustration, even when none is intended.
The listener’s nervous system reacts before logic can catch up.
6) They multitask visibly and unapologetically
Eating. Sorting papers. Walking around the house.
All while maintaining a conversation.
Multitasking on video hits differently than on the phone. When someone’s attention keeps drifting off-screen, it sends a subtle message that the call isn’t worth full focus.
I’ve noticed this more with people who didn’t grow up associating screens with presence. To them, talking is talking, regardless of what else is happening.
For digital natives, divided attention feels dismissive, even if it’s not meant that way.
7) They ignore visual cues that the call should end
This is a big one.
Yawns. Long pauses. Repeated “Anyway…” statements. Checking the time.
Tech-savvy callers recognize these as soft exits. They wrap things up.
Boomers often push right past them, launching into a new story just as the other person is mentally packing up.
Ending conversations smoothly is a learned social skill. When it’s missed, the call feels endless, and escape becomes the goal.
8) They struggle with basic controls every single time
Muted microphones. Frozen screens. Accidental filters.
Every call starts with a troubleshooting session.
I get it. Technology changes fast. But when the same issues repeat without curiosity or adaptation, it wears thin.
From a behavioral standpoint, repeated friction creates anticipation of effort. When someone sees the call coming, they don’t think about connection. They think about tech support.
That alone is enough to make someone hesitate before answering.
The bottom line
None of this makes anyone a bad person.
Most of these habits come from unfamiliarity, not stubbornness or lack of care.
But small behaviors have big emotional effects, especially on screens where nuance is already limited.
If video calls feel shorter than they used to, it’s often not because people are busier. It’s because their nervous systems are tired.
And sometimes, ending the call feels like the only way to reset.
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