7 ways Boomer grandparents spoil their grandkids that their own parents never would have

Grandparents have always had a soft spot for their grandkids.

But there is something very specific going on with Boomer grandparents.

They came of age in a time of rising prosperity, stricter parenting, and "finish everything on your plate" culture.

Now they are older, often more financially secure, and they want to give their grandkids the childhood they wish they had.

That combo can lead to next-level spoiling that our own parents never would have dreamed of.

Let’s talk about seven ways that shows up, why it happens, and how to handle it without turning every family visit into a cold war:

1) Big-ticket gifts

Growing up, getting a new bike or a game console was a huge event.

You had to wait for birthdays, Christmas, or years of "we will see."

Even then, the answer was often no.

Now, I see Boomer grandparents dropping serious money on grandkids almost casually.

Why the shift? Well, Boomers spent their early years in a culture of scarcity and "make do."

Many worked their way into relative comfort, so buying a big-ticket item for a grandchild feels like proof that their struggle was worth it.

It is a story: "I can give you what I never had."

The problem is that kids quickly normalize whatever they get often enough.

What was once magical is now expected as gratitude fades and baseline entitlement rises.

If you are a parent, this is where intentional boundaries matter.

Not to kill the joy, but to protect the bigger lesson.

You might say something like: "I love that you want to spoil them. Can we agree big electronics are something we decide together, and not more than once a year?"

In a way, you are designing the culture your kid grows up in.

2) Food without brakes

Here is a familiar scene: You spend all week trying to keep your kid on some kind of sane eating pattern.

Actual vegetables, some fruit, a little sugar but not too much.

They spend one afternoon with the grandparents and come back vibrating with frosting and red dye.

Ice cream before lunch, fast food "because they asked," and candy as a reward, then as a bribe, then just because "look at that little face".

When I was a kid, my parents were not exactly health nuts, but treats were still rare.

Soda was for parties, and candy was for Halloween.

Boomer grandparents often flip that script as food becomes love, apology, and entertainment all at once.

For some, it is also nostalgia; sharing the foods they remember from their own childhood, even if those foods do not age well with what we now know about nutrition.

As a vegan adult, I think about this a lot: Food is identity, culture, and it carries emotional meaning far beyond ingredients.

Instead of just saying, "Stop giving them junk," you can reframe it: "Can we make our special treats something they actually remember, not just random sugar? Maybe we pick one dessert we always make together, like a vegan brownie night or a popcorn-and-movie ritual."

Now food is still love, but it is also ritual, connection, and a bit more aligned with your values.

3) Experience overload

Another way Boomer grandparents level up the spoiling is through experiences.

I saw this with my niece.

My parents—now grandparents—booked an entire "surprise day" that involved a theme park, a movie, and a restaurant where the dessert came with sparklers.

It was adorable, and it was also exhausting.

For Boomers, experiences feel like a better kind of spoiling.

Less clutter, more memories.

That is genuinely positive; the catch is that when every visit is turned up to 11, reality feels boring by comparison.

Monday morning at school cannot compete with roller coasters and constant novelty.

From a psychology angle, this is classic hedonic adaptation.

We get used to whatever level of stimulation we regularly experience.

When that level is very high, normal life feels flat.

If you notice your kids getting moody or "bored" after grandparent extravaganzas, it might be time to talk about pacing: "Can we mix the big days out with some slower traditions too? Board games, walks, cooking together. I want them to love you for your time, not just the tickets."

Again, it is about not setting the bar so high that real life becomes a letdown.

4) Constant rescuing

Have you noticed this one?

The kid forgets their homework? The grandparent offers to drive it to school.

The kid spends all their allowance in one day? The grandparent quietly tops it up.

When a kid misbehaves, the parent sets a consequence, yet the grandparent steps in with "Oh, do not be so hard on them, they are just little."

Our own parents were more likely to say, "You made your bed, now lie in it."

Boomer grandparents, especially if they were strict parents themselves, sometimes swing the other way in grandparent mode.

They do not want to be the bad cop again; they want harmony and they want smiles, so they rescue.

The intention is love, while the impact can be fragile kids who never practice tolerating discomfort.

Resilience grows in small, manageable struggles that we are allowed to face.

If grandparents clean up every mess, kids never see that they can handle tough moments themselves.

One helpful phrase for parents:
"I appreciate you wanting to help, but we are trying to teach them to solve this one. It is ok if they feel uncomfortable for a bit."

It is not easy for a grandparent to watch a child struggle, especially if they feel guilty about not being emotionally present when they were raising you.

However, if they understand the long game, they are more likely to respect it.

5) Inflated praise

One of the biggest differences I see is in how praise is used.

Our parents might have said "Good job" if we actually did something impressive.

They also had no problem saying "You can do better" or "That was rude."

Boomer grandparents with their grandkids often live at the opposite extreme.

The kid draws a scribble? Instant masterpiece.

The kid kicks a ball once? Future pro athlete.

On the surface, all that praise seems harmless.

Kids need encouragement, right? The issue is not praise itself, but the type.

When praise is global and constant, kids may start to believe their value depends on always being amazing.

Any criticism feels like a full identity threat.

I saw this in a friend’s son.

His grandparents told him he was "too smart to ever fail."

When he eventually struggled in math, he melted down because it shattered his identity as "the smart one."

A healthier version is specific, grounded praise: "I love how hard you worked on that drawing," or "You were really kind to your cousin today."

If you are talking to Boomer grandparents about this, keep it gentle: "They light up when you compliment them. Maybe we can also point out their effort, not just say they are the best at everything. It helps them feel proud of what they do, not just who they are."

6) Schedule bending

Another subtle form of spoiling is bending the entire world around the grandchild's preferences.

When we were kids, adult schedules usually came first.

You tagged along, and you adapted.

Now, some Boomer grandparents build their whole day around the child.

On one level, that is beautiful presence; on another, it can train kids to believe that everyone should always adjust to them.

In real life, they will have teachers, bosses, friends, and partners who do not rearrange everything based on their mood.

Learning to be flexible is part of growing up.

If you notice your kids turning into tiny dictators after a weekend with the grandparents, this might be why.

A practical approach is to pre-agree on a few non-negotiables.

This gives grandparents space to be fun and spontaneous, but within a structure that teaches kids the world does not always move on their command.

7) Early financial cushioning

Finally, there is money.

Many Boomers are in a position where they can help financially in ways our grandparents never did: College funds, down payments, paying for private school, and constant Venmo transfers when the kids are older.

Again, the intent is often beautiful—they want their grandkids to have options, freedom, a softer landing than they had—but when every problem can be fixed by a grandparent's wallet, something important is lost.

Kids may miss out on learning how to budget, how to save, how to delay gratification, and how to think creatively when money is tight.

There is also a subtle power dynamic: If financial help is huge and constant, kids might feel beholden or unable to say no to other expectations.

The self-development angle here is not "never take help."

Support between generations can be incredibly positive.

The key is transparency and intention.

Talk openly about what money is for: "This fund is for your education, not for random spending," or "We will help with this, but you still need to contribute something so you are invested in it."

You can even involve the kids in simple financial decisions early on, so money becomes a tool they understand, not just magic that appears from generous grandparents.

The bottom line

Boomer grandparents are not villains in this story.

Most of the ways they spoil grandkids come from love, regret, nostalgia, or a genuine desire to break old patterns of harsh parenting.

The risk is when constant over-giving replaces boundaries, resilience, and gratitude.

If you are noticing these patterns in your own family, you need clear, kind conversations and a shared understanding of the kind of human you are all trying to help this child become.

Spoiling is easy, but raising grounded kids in a world of abundance is the real art.