After six months in Lyon, a 65-year-old American woman discovered what French women her age have always known: the secret to effortless elegance isn't a overflowing closet, but seven carefully chosen pieces that transform getting dressed from a daily crisis into a gentle ritual.
Last month, I found myself at a café in Boston, sitting across from a woman who'd just returned from six months in Lyon. She was American, like me, but something had shifted in how she carried herself.
It wasn't just the confidence that comes from navigating a foreign city solo at 65. It was something quieter, more settled. When I complimented her silk scarf, she laughed and said, "You know, French women my age taught me something revolutionary: you don't need a closet bursting with clothes to look elegant. You just need the right ones."
That conversation stayed with me because it touched on something I've been observing for years. We American women, especially as we age, often approach our wardrobes like we're solving a complex equation with too many variables.
Meanwhile, our French counterparts seem to have cracked a simpler code. They invest in pieces that work harder, last longer, and somehow make getting dressed feel less like a daily crisis and more like a gentle ritual.
1) A perfectly fitted white shirt that isn't trying to be trendy
Have you ever noticed how a truly good white shirt can make you feel like you have your life together, even when you definitely don't? French women over 60 understand this magic. They're not chasing the latest oversized trend or the shirt with unnecessary ruffles.
They find one that fits their actual body, not the body they had at 30 or hope to have next year.
I learned this lesson the hard way after years of buying white shirts that were either too tight (clinging to hope) or too loose (hiding in fabric). The French approach is refreshingly practical: find a shirt that skims your body without clinging, has quality cotton that doesn't turn transparent, and forget about what fashion magazines say you should want.
My mother, who was a seamstress, used to tell me that a well-fitted basic beats an ill-fitting statement piece every time. She was right, of course, though it took me decades to really hear her.
2) One exceptional blazer instead of five mediocre ones
Walking through any American department store, you'll find racks of blazers at every price point, each promising to be the solution to your wardrobe woes. But here's what French women know: one beautifully tailored blazer in navy or black will serve you better than a rainbow of cheap alternatives.
The key word here is "tailored." Not expensive, not designer, but tailored. French women will buy a good quality blazer and then spend a bit more having it altered to fit perfectly.
Those extra inches removed from the sleeves, that slight nip at the waist, these small adjustments transform a good blazer into your blazer. It becomes like a trusted friend you can call on for everything from lunch with old colleagues to your grandchild's graduation.
3) Scarves that actually get worn
American women buy scarves. French women wear them. There's a profound difference. In my closet, I used to have a drawer full of scarves I'd collected like souvenirs, each one worn maybe twice before being relegated to textile purgatory.
Then I noticed something during a trip to Paris: women my age there had maybe three or four scarves, but they wore them constantly, creatively, confidently.
The French approach isn't about having a scarf for every outfit. It's about having a few quality pieces in silk or fine wool that complement your coloring and can transform a simple outfit. They drape them, knot them, use them as belts, and never look like they're trying too hard.
"Your scarf should feel like punctuation," a French friend once told me, "not the whole sentence."
4) Proper wool trousers that fit like they were made for you
When did we American women decide that after 60, our only options were elastic waist pants or squeezing into jeans that require a prayer and a strong zipper? French women have a third way: well-fitted wool trousers that look polished but feel comfortable.
These aren't the stiff, scratchy wool pants of our mothers' generation. Modern wool blends can be soft, stretchy enough to be comfortable, yet structured enough to look professional. The French secret is in the fit and the hem length.
They have them tailored to hit exactly the right spot on their shoe, whether that's a low heel or a comfortable flat. No pooling fabric, no awkward cropped length that makes you look like you're waiting for a flood.
5) Leather flats that don't apologize for not being heels
Giving up my beloved high heels was one of my most reluctant concessions to aging. For years, I wobbled through events, ignoring the shooting pains because I thought heels made me look more put-together.
What vanity costs us! French women seem to skip this particular form of self-torture by investing in leather flats that are so elegant, they never look like a compromise.
We're not talking about ballet flats that offer no support or those cushioned walking shoes that scream "I've given up." French women find that middle ground: leather flats with enough structure to support aging feet, enough style to pair with those wool trousers, and enough quality to last for years.
They might cost more initially, but divided by the number of times you'll reach for them? They're a bargain.
6) A cashmere sweater that's actually cashmere
The American market is flooded with "cashmere" sweaters that pill after two wears and lose their shape after one wash. We buy them because they're affordable, then wonder why we never feel quite put-together. French women save up for one or two real cashmere sweaters and treat them like the investments they are.
Quality cashmere feels different against your skin. It regulates temperature better, drapes more elegantly, and with proper care, actually improves with age. Isn't that what we all want for ourselves too?
The French approach to cashmere mirrors their approach to aging: embrace quality over quantity, maintenance over replacement, and the beauty of things that have been well-loved and well-cared for.
7) A structured handbag that works with everything
How many handbags do you own? Now, how many do you actually use?
French women typically have two or three bags maximum: one for everyday, one for evening, maybe one for travel. The everyday bag is where they invest. It's leather, it's structured enough to look professional but soft enough to be comfortable, and it's in a neutral color that works with everything.
What strikes me most is how French women use the same bag for months, even years. They're not constantly switching bags to match outfits or seasons. This isn't about lack of options; it's about choosing simplicity.
One good bag that holds what you need, looks appropriate everywhere, and improves with age like a good wine or a good friendship.
Final thoughts
The French approach to dressing after 60 isn't about following rules or trying to look younger. It's about understanding that elegance comes from knowing yourself, investing in quality over quantity, and wearing clothes that work with your life, not against it.
These seven staples aren't magic bullets, but they represent a philosophy that values sustainability over trends, confidence over camouflage, and the radical idea that getting dressed should be a pleasure, not a puzzle.
Maybe it's time we stopped overlooking these simple truths and started embracing them instead.

