10 phrases boomers are exhausted from hearing from their adult children

Last week, I found myself in my kitchen, phone pressed to my ear, listening to my daughter explain why I needed to "set better boundaries" with my neighbor who occasionally borrows my hedge trimmer. I nodded along, making appropriate sounds of agreement, while internally rolling my eyes so hard I'm surprised she couldn't hear it through the phone. It was the third time that month I'd heard about boundaries, and honestly? Sometimes I wonder if our adult children think we've spent the last seven decades stumbling through life without any self-awareness whatsoever.

Don't get me wrong. I adore my two grown children more than words can express. They're brilliant, accomplished, and genuinely caring people. But there are certain phrases that have become so commonplace in our conversations that I find myself bracing for them like a recurring jingle from an overplayed commercial. And from what I hear at my book club and coffee dates, I'm far from alone in this experience.

1) "You need to set better boundaries"

Everything is about boundaries these days, isn't it? I appreciate the concept, truly I do. But after successfully navigating workplace politics for over three decades, raising two children, and maintaining friendships since the Nixon administration, I think I've figured out when to say yes and when to say no. Sometimes lending my hedge trimmer to my neighbor isn't about poor boundaries; it's about being neighborly in a world that's already too isolated.

2) "OK, Boomer"

This one stings, not because it's meant to (though sometimes it is), but because it dismisses entire lifetimes of experience with two words. My son said it jokingly last month when I suggested he might save money by not ordering takeout every night. The irony? I was the one who taught him how to cook in the first place, standing beside him in our tiny kitchen, showing him how to stretch a grocery budget when money was tight.

3) "You should really be on social media"

I've conquered email, mastered texting, and can even share photos in the family group chat. But apparently, my life is incomplete without Instagram, TikTok, and whatever new platform emerged while I was typing this sentence. The pressure to document and share every moment feels exhausting. Sometimes I want to ask: when did living life become less important than posting about it?

4) "That's not how things work anymore"

Of course things change. I've witnessed moon landings, the fall of the Berlin Wall, and the rise of the internet. I've adapted to more change than most people experience in three lifetimes. Yet this phrase gets trotted out whenever I suggest anything from writing a thank-you note to calling instead of texting about important matters. Yes, I know things work differently now, but that doesn't mean every old way was wrong.

5) "You need to live your truth"

Shakespeare wrote, "To thine own self be true," and somehow we've turned that into a motto that seems to justify any behavior or decision. When my generation talks about truth, we mean facts, reality, things that can be proven. Now truth has become entirely subjective, and suggesting otherwise makes you hopelessly outdated. But here's what I know: sometimes the truth is uncomfortable, inconvenient, and doesn't care about your feelings.

6) "You wouldn't understand"

Really? I wouldn't understand workplace stress, relationship troubles, parenting challenges, or financial pressure? I've been through all of it, often with fewer resources and support systems than exist today. When my daughter says this before launching into a story about office dynamics, I want to remind her about the time I was the only woman in my department, fighting for equal pay while wearing pantyhose in August. But I usually just listen instead.

7) "You need to practice more self-care"

Self-care has become the solution to everything, hasn't it? Stressed? Self-care. Tired? Self-care. Overwhelmed? More self-care. My generation called it different things: a hot bath, a walk around the block, or meeting a friend for coffee. We didn't need to turn it into a movement or an Instagram hashtag. Sometimes taking care of others is what gives life meaning, and that's okay too.

8) "That's toxic"

Not everything difficult or uncomfortable is toxic. This word has been stretched so thin it's lost its meaning. A disagreement isn't toxic. A parent having expectations isn't toxic. A friend who occasionally disappoints you isn't toxic. Real toxicity exists, certainly, but we've pathologized normal human friction to the point where any discomfort becomes grounds for cutting people off entirely.

9) "You should talk to someone about that"

Therapy is wonderful. I've benefited from it myself during particularly difficult times. But the suggestion that every sadness, frustration, or memory requires professional intervention feels excessive. Sometimes you're just having a bad day. Sometimes you're allowed to feel sad about getting older or missing people who are gone. Not every emotion needs to be processed, analyzed, and resolved.

10) "You're not getting any younger"

This one might be the most ironic of all. No, I'm not getting younger, thanks for the reminder. But here's what they don't seem to understand: I don't want to be younger. I've earned these years, these wrinkles, this gray hair.

Each decade has brought its own gifts, and I wouldn't trade the wisdom I've gained for the smooth skin I once had. When they say this while trying to convince me to travel more, take up new hobbies, or make major life changes, they miss the point that perhaps I'm exactly where I want to be.

Final thoughts

Here's the truth that spans all generations: we're all just doing our best with the tools we have. Our adult children mean well when they offer advice, just as we did when we couldn't stop ourselves from suggesting they wear a jacket or call when they got home safely.

The exhaustion isn't really about the phrases themselves, but about the assumption that we haven't been paying attention to our own lives all these years. Love doesn't always speak the same language across generations, but it's still love. And that's one thing that never gets old, no matter how many times we hear about boundaries, self-care, or living our truth.