The irony of modern self-improvement is that we're paying experts to teach us what necessity once made automatic.
I've been thinking about my grandmother a lot lately. She raised four kids on a teacher's salary back when that actually meant something, never owned more than she needed, and somehow managed to volunteer at the food bank every Saturday for decades.
She never read a single self-help book. Never attended a workshop on resilience or took a course on emotional intelligence. But she had these life skills that people today shell out serious money to learn from coaches and courses.
What's strange is how these abilities just came naturally to people in her generation who grew up working class. Not because they were inherently better people, but because their circumstances demanded it.
1) Fixing things instead of replacing them
My grandmother could repair almost anything in her house. A broken chair leg? She'd have wood glue and clamps on it within the hour. Torn clothes got patched, not tossed.
This wasn't a hobby or some trendy sustainability practice. It was necessity.
But here's what's interesting from a psychological perspective. Research in behavioral economics shows that problem-solving under constraints develops stronger adaptive capabilities and a more resilient mindset. They learn to see challenges as solvable rather than insurmountable.
Meanwhile, I know people who've paid hundreds of dollars for courses on "creative problem-solving" and "growth mindset development." They're essentially learning what working-class Boomers absorbed just from living paycheck to paycheck.
2) Managing money with zero margin for error
When you grow up with just enough, you learn to budget in a way that's almost mathematical in its precision.
Working-class Boomers knew exactly how much money they had, where every dollar needed to go, and how to stretch it when unexpected expenses hit. No apps, no spreadsheets, just mental arithmetic and discipline.
Today's financial literacy industry is worth billions. People take courses, hire financial coaches, download budgeting apps. And much of what they're learning is just the basics of what my grandmother did naturally because she had to.
The constraint itself was the teacher.
3) Delayed gratification as a default setting
Want something? Save for it. Can't afford it? Wait.
This wasn't a philosophical position for working-class Boomers. Credit cards weren't ubiquitous. Layaway plans existed, but even those required discipline.
I've mentioned this before but the Stanford marshmallow experiment showed that kids who could delay gratification had better life outcomes decades later. Now adults pay for programs that essentially retrain them to do what working-class kids in the 1950s and 60s learned by default.
The ability to want something and not immediately acquire it is now considered an advanced skill. Back then, it was just Tuesday.
4) Building genuine community connections
When your margin for error is slim, your neighbors matter.
Working-class communities had something that executive leadership courses now try to teach: authentic relationship building. People borrowed tools, watched each other's kids, shared food when times were tight.
This wasn't networking. There was no agenda beyond mutual survival and genuine connection.
Now there are entire workshops dedicated to teaching "authentic networking" and "community building." I've seen course listings that charge thousands to teach people how to genuinely connect with others.
The irony is thick.
5) Physical resilience and body awareness
Working-class Boomers often did physical labor. Construction, manufacturing, service work. Their bodies were tools they depended on.
This created an intuitive understanding of physical limits and capabilities that wealthy people now pay personal trainers and body awareness coaches to help them discover.
I'm not romanticizing hard physical labor. It often came with real physical costs. But there was a baseline physical literacy that many people today lack entirely.
When you've spent eight hours on your feet or doing manual labor, you understand your body's signals in a way that someone who sits at a desk doesn't. You learn to pace yourself, to recognize when you're pushing too hard, to work through discomfort without ignoring actual injury.
That's body awareness. And yes, there are expensive courses for that now.
6) Emotional regulation under pressure
Financial stress is relentless. It doesn't take weekends off.
Working-class Boomers developed what psychologists now call "emotional regulation" simply because falling apart wasn't an option. Bills still needed paying. Kids still needed feeding. Work still needed doing.
This created a kind of psychological toughness that's now packaged and sold as "stress management" or "emotional intelligence training."
They learned to compartmentalize, to function under chronic stress, to keep showing up even when things were objectively terrible.
Again, I'm not saying this was healthy or ideal. Chronic stress has real costs. But the skill itself? That's what people pay therapists and coaches to help them develop now.
7) Negotiating and advocating without formal training
When you're working class, you learn to negotiate because you have to. Whether it's with a landlord, a boss, a utility company threatening shutoff, or a mechanic trying to overcharge you.
Working-class Boomers became skilled negotiators out of necessity. They learned to advocate for themselves and their families without ever taking a negotiation workshop or reading "Getting to Yes."
My grandmother once told me about negotiating payment plans with the electric company during particularly tight months. She didn't frame it as negotiation. She just called it "working something out."
But that's exactly what negotiation is. And people now pay significant money for courses on negotiation tactics, conflict resolution, and self-advocacy.
8) Finding joy in small things
This might sound sentimental, but there's real psychology here.
When you can't afford elaborate entertainment or expensive experiences, you learn to find satisfaction in simple pleasures. A good meal. A day off. Time with people you care about.
There's research showing that people who can derive pleasure from everyday experiences tend to be happier overall than those who need constant novelty and stimulation. It's called "savoring" in positive psychology, and yes, there are workshops on it.
Working-class Boomers didn't need a workshop. A pot of coffee with a friend was an event. A home-cooked meal was something to appreciate. These weren't consolation prizes. They were genuinely satisfying.
That ability to find genuine joy in the ordinary? That's a skill that people now actively work to relearn.
The bottom line
I've been reading Rudá Iandê's new book "Laughing in the Face of Chaos" lately, and it's been making me think about how much we've commodified basic life skills.
One of his insights that stuck with me is how our bodies and direct experiences contain more wisdom than any guru or system can teach us. Working-class Boomers understood this intuitively because they had to.
I'm not saying everyone should experience financial hardship to develop these skills. That's absurd. But there's something worth examining in how we've turned fundamental human capabilities into products and services.
My grandmother never thought of herself as particularly skilled or wise. She was just doing what needed doing.
Maybe that's the ultimate lesson here. Sometimes the most valuable skills aren't learned in courses or workshops. They're developed through living, through necessity, through showing up when things are hard.
The difference is just whether you have the luxury of outsourcing that learning or not.
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