Despite earning less than half of today's median household income, my parents somehow afforded a house, three kids, and college savings on a single salary—but when I calculated what that exact same life costs now, the numbers made my jaw drop.
Remember those stories your parents told you about walking to school uphill both ways?
Well, my mom had her own version: "I raised three kids on one income, kept a roof over your heads, and still managed to save for your college funds."
Growing up in suburban Sacramento in the 80s, this didn't seem particularly remarkable. Most of my friends' families lived the same way. One parent worked, the other stayed home, and somehow everyone got by just fine.
But here's what's been eating at me lately: could that same life even exist today?
I decided to do the math. And honestly? The results made me understand why so many of my friends are choosing not to have kids at all.
The house that built us
In 1983, my parents bought a three-bedroom house in Sacramento for $75,000. My dad's salary as an accountant was about $28,000 a year. That meant our house cost roughly 2.7 times his annual income.
Today? That same house is worth $485,000.
The median salary for an accountant in Sacramento is now around $65,000. Do the math with me here. That's 7.5 times the annual salary for the exact same house.
But wait, it gets worse.
The mortgage rate my parents locked in was around 13% (which they thought was highway robbery at the time). Today's rates hover around 7%, which sounds better until you realize the principal is six times higher. Their monthly payment was about $830. The same house today would run you $3,200 a month.
And that's before we talk about property taxes, which have tripled even with California's Prop 13 protections.
Feeding a family wasn't a second mortgage
My mom spent about $100 a week on groceries in 1985. That's $280 in today's dollars when adjusted for inflation.
But here's the kicker: I checked current grocery prices for the same basic items she used to buy. A week's worth of groceries for a family of five now runs closer to $400 if you're buying the store brands and skipping organic anything.
Milk was 99 cents a gallon. Now it's $4.50.
Bread was 50 cents. Now it's $3.
Ground beef was $1.49 a pound. Now it's $6.
Sure, we have more choices now. We can get avocados year-round and quinoa from Peru. But the basics that kept us fed have outpaced inflation by a shocking margin.
The car situation nobody talks about
My parents had one car for the first five years of my life. One. It was a used station wagon that cost them $3,000.
Can you imagine telling someone today they need to raise three kids with one car? They'd look at you like you suggested they live without internet.
But beyond the cultural shift, let's talk numbers. A reliable used car that fits a family of five starts around $15,000 today. That's if you're lucky and mechanically inclined enough to spot a good deal.
The average new car payment is now over $700 a month. My parents' car payment in 1984 was $89.
And don't even get me started on gas prices, insurance rates, or the fact that cars today require computer diagnostics just to change a headlight.
College wasn't a fantasy back then
This one really gets me.
My dad went to UC Berkeley in the 1970s for about $700 a year in fees. By the time I went to college in the late 90s, it was already up to $4,000.
Today? UC Berkeley costs California residents $15,000 a year just in tuition and fees. Add room and board, and you're looking at $40,000 annually.
My parents managed to save for three kids' college education on one income. They weren't wealthy. They just put away $200 a month from the time we were born.
To give your kid the same opportunity today, you'd need to save $800 a month from birth to cover four years at a state school. That's assuming costs don't keep rising at their current pace (spoiler: they will).
Healthcare changed everything
In 1985, my dad's employer covered 100% of our family's health insurance. The most my parents ever paid out of pocket was a $5 copay for doctor visits.
Fast forward to now. The average employer family health insurance plan costs about $22,000 a year, with employees paying roughly $6,000 of that. Deductibles average $1,500 for individuals and nearly $3,000 for families.
Got a kid who needs braces? That's $5,000.
Someone breaks an arm? After insurance, you're still looking at $2,000.
Need therapy? Good luck finding someone who takes insurance.
I've mentioned this before, but the financial stress of healthcare alone is enough to keep people up at night. And that stress, ironically, creates more health problems.
The hidden costs nobody calculated
Here's what really strikes me about comparing then to now: it's not just that everything costs more. It's that there are entirely new categories of "essential" expenses.
- Internet service: $70 a month
- Cell phone plans for a family: $200 a month
- Childcare (because both parents have to work): $1,500 a month per kid
- Kids' activities and sports: $300 a month
- School supplies that schools no longer provide: $500 a year
My mom walked us to school. Today's parents need to factor in before and after-school care because work hours don't align with school hours and walking anywhere is often impossible in modern suburbs.
Remember when kids just played outside until dinner? Now there are organized activities with fees, equipment, and travel costs because letting kids roam free gets you a visit from child services.
What this really means
When I run all these numbers, that $28,000 salary in 1983 would need to be about $85,000 today just to match inflation. But to actually maintain the same quality of life? To buy the same house, save for college, and raise three kids on one income?
You'd need to make at least $180,000 a year. And that's in Sacramento, not San Francisco or Los Angeles.
The median household income in Sacramento is $71,000. With two people working.
Do you see the problem here?
This isn't about avocado toast or expensive coffee. This is about the fundamental math of middle-class life no longer adding up.
Wrapping up
I'm not writing this to depress you or to suggest we should return to some idealized past that never really existed. The 80s had their own problems, and many families were excluded from even that version of the American Dream.
But understanding these numbers helps explain so much about why life feels impossibly expensive right now. You're not imagining it. You're not bad with money. The same life really does cost four times as much.
My generation isn't choosing to have fewer kids because we're selfish. We're doing the math and realizing that giving even one child the same opportunities we had requires financial gymnastics that would make an Olympic athlete dizzy.
The solution isn't individual. It's not about cutting out lattes or learning to budget better. This is a structural problem that requires structural solutions.
Until then, maybe we can at least stop beating ourselves up for not achieving what our parents did. They were playing a completely different game.
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