8 tourist behaviors boomers think are polite that locals in other countries find annoying

Remember that trip to Paris when you watched a tourist loudly compliment the waiter's English, only to see the poor guy's smile freeze? I witnessed this exact scene at a café near the Louvre, and the secondhand embarrassment was real.

The American couple, probably in their sixties, genuinely thought they were being encouraging. The waiter? He looked like he wanted to disappear into the espresso machine.

Living in Bangkok for three years taught me that what we consider polite back home can land differently abroad. Really differently. And after countless conversations with locals across Southeast Asia and Europe, I've noticed that older travelers, particularly boomers, often miss these cultural cues.

Look, I get it. These behaviors come from good intentions. But good intentions don't always translate across borders. Here are eight things that well-meaning boomer tourists do that drive locals absolutely crazy.

1. Over-tipping to "help the locals"

During my first week in Thailand, I watched an American retiree slip a 500-baht note (about $15) to a street food vendor for a 40-baht meal. The vendor looked confused, then uncomfortable, then tried to give change. The tourist insisted she keep it, saying something about "helping the local economy."

Here's what many visitors don't understand: excessive tipping can be insulting. In Japan, it suggests the person needs charity. In many European countries, it implies the server looks desperate. Even in Thailand, where tipping exists, overdoing it creates awkward power dynamics and messes with local pricing.

The locals aren't your charity case. They're professionals doing their jobs. Respect the local tipping culture instead of imposing your own financial guilt or savior complex.

2. Speaking slowly and loudly in English

You know that thing where someone doesn't speak English, so you just... speak louder? And slower? Like you're talking to a toddler?

Yeah, that doesn't work.

I've seen this play out hundreds of times. "WHERE. IS. THE. BATHROOM?" No, Karen, volume doesn't create comprehension. Neither does that weird slow-motion pronunciation.

What's worse is when they add hand gestures that border on interpretive dance. The locals aren't deaf. They're not stupid. They just speak a different language. Download a translation app, learn a few basic phrases, or at least acknowledge the language barrier with humility instead of treating it like the other person's deficiency.

3. Taking photos of locals without permission

In a Bangkok market, I once saw a tourist practically shove her camera in an elderly vendor's face while she was gutting fish. No greeting, no permission, just click-click-click like she was at a zoo.

This happens constantly. Older tourists often treat locals like part of the scenery, especially in "exotic" locations. They'll photograph people praying, working, or just living their lives without a second thought.

Would you want random strangers photographing you at your desk job? While you're eating lunch? During your morning commute? Then why is it okay when the person is selling fruit in Marrakech or riding a bike in Vietnam?

People aren't tourist attractions. They're people.

4. Comparing everything to "back home"

"Oh, this reminds me of the farmers market in Portland, but ours is much cleaner."

"The trains in Germany are so much more efficient than ours!"

"You can't get a good burger here like you can in Texas."

Nobody asked. Seriously, nobody asked for the comparison.

Locals don't care about your hometown's superior whatever. They're not interested in how things work "back home." You're in their home now. The constant comparisons come across as judgmental at best, condescending at worst.

Plus, you're missing the entire point of travel. You left home to experience something different, remember?

5. Haggling over tiny amounts

Watching a boomer couple spend fifteen minutes haggling over the equivalent of fifty cents at a Thai market was painful. They probably spent more on their morning latte than this vendor makes in a day, but here they were, determined to "not get ripped off."

There's a difference between not wanting to be scammed and being cheap. When you're fighting over pennies with someone whose monthly income might be less than your dinner budget, you're not being a savvy traveler. You're being a jerk.

Learn the difference between tourist prices that genuinely exploit and small markups that barely matter to you but mean a lot to the seller.

6. Touching everything and everyone

Personal space bubbles vary wildly across cultures. That friendly arm pat or shoulder squeeze that seems warm in Ohio might be deeply uncomfortable in Seoul.

But it goes beyond person-to-person contact. I've watched tourists handle religious artifacts, lean on ancient monuments, and touch merchandise they have no intention of buying. In many cultures, this casual physical interaction with objects and people is considered disrespectful or even offensive.

Your hands don't need to be involved in every interaction. Observe how locals behave and follow their lead.

7. Expecting special treatment for being American

"But I'm American!" I heard this from a frustrated tourist in a Bangkok restaurant when they couldn't get a burger modification. As if that passport came with a universal VIP pass.

The assumption that being from America (or any Western country) should grant special privileges is both embarrassing and offensive. No, the restaurant shouldn't break their policies for you. No, the museum shouldn't stay open late because you arrived after closing. No, you shouldn't skip the line because you're on vacation.

Your nationality isn't a golden ticket. It's just where you happened to be born.

8. Complimenting English skills excessively

Finally, we circle back to my opening story. When someone in a foreign country speaks English, even perfectly, the over-the-top praise feels patronizing.

"Wow, your English is SO good!" sounds encouraging to the speaker but often lands as condescending. Many people worldwide speak multiple languages fluently. English might be their third or fourth language. They don't need your validation.

Worse is when tourists act surprised that educated professionals in other countries speak English well. It reveals an assumption that speaking English is some remarkable achievement rather than, you know, a common skill in our globalized world.

Final thoughts

Travel is supposed to broaden our horizons, not confirm our biases. These behaviors, while usually well-intentioned, create walls instead of bridges.

The irony is that boomer travelers often have the time and resources for meaningful cultural exchange. Instead of rushing through a checklist of tourist sites, they could actually connect with places and people.

Want to be a better traveler? Start by assuming you're the one who needs to adapt, not everyone else. Learn basic phrases, research cultural norms, and approach differences with curiosity rather than judgment.

Most importantly, remember that you're a guest. Act like one.