9 things people in their 70s wish they had done differently in their 40s and 50s

We often hear that hindsight is 20/20. But what if we could borrow someone else’s hindsight before making our own choices?

I’ve spent a lot of time listening to people in their seventies, reading studies on aging, and reflecting on the choices that shape our later years. Their regrets aren’t always dramatic. They’re usually subtle but powerful—small habits that added up, decisions that seemed harmless at the time but carried weight decades later.

What people wish they’d done differently often has less to do with chasing big achievements and more to do with the daily decisions that shape health, relationships, and meaning.

Here are nine things people in their 70s say they wish they had done differently in their 40s and 50s.

1. Paid more attention to health before it became urgent

When you’re in your forties or fifties, your body still feels like it can take a beating and recover. You can skip workouts, eat convenience food, stay up late, and bounce back. But by the time people hit seventy, many wish they’d treated their health as a long-term investment instead of a short-term inconvenience.

One man I met on a trip to Portugal told me he thought skipping annual check-ups was “no big deal” until his sixties, when undiagnosed diabetes changed his life. His words stuck with me: “I thought I was too busy to care for my health. Then suddenly, all I had time for were doctor’s visits.”

Experts say this is common. As Dr. Michael Roizen, author of RealAge, notes, “Most of how long and how well you live is determined by your daily choices—not your genes.” People in their seventies often regret ignoring early signals and not making healthy habits non-negotiable.

2. Saved more aggressively for freedom, not just retirement

A lot of people saved in their forties and fifties with one goal: retirement. But many in their seventies now say they wish they’d saved not just for old age, but for midlife flexibility.

That flexibility could have meant starting a business, taking a sabbatical, or even working fewer hours to spend more time with kids. Instead, many played it safe, tied themselves to jobs they disliked, and delayed dreams.

I once met a couple in Spain who said, “We didn’t realize freedom was the real return on investment—not the money itself.” Their point was simple: the earlier you buy freedom with your savings, the richer your life feels, even before retirement.

If you’re in your 40s or 50s, it might be worth asking: am I saving just for a number on a retirement account, or for the freedom to make bold choices along the way?

3. Stopped worrying so much about what others thought

By seventy, people often realize how little anyone else really cared about what they did. And yet, in midlife, many held themselves back because of the fear of judgment.

One woman I spoke with told me she spent her forties obsessed with how others perceived her career. “I missed chances because I thought people were watching. They weren’t. Everyone was too busy with their own lives.”

This regret is backed by psychology. Research on the “spotlight effect” shows we routinely overestimate how much other people notice our actions. Most people are too caught up in their own worries to track ours.

I’ve felt this myself. I once passed on pitching a publication I admired because I thought my idea wasn’t polished enough. Looking back, I realize that fear of judgment cost me more than rejection ever could have.

4. Spent more time with family and friends

This regret comes up more than any other. It’s not usually about missing weddings or milestone birthdays—it’s about the smaller moments. Sunday dinners. Phone calls that could’ve been made. Walks around the block that never happened.

Many people worked through those opportunities, believing they’d “make up for it later.” But later often never came. By their seventies, they realized the casual hangs they brushed off were actually the building blocks of their best memories.

I’ve mentioned this before in another post, but regret almost always comes down to time we didn’t spend with people—not time we didn’t spend at the office. Work will always fill the space we give it. Relationships only last if we keep choosing them.

5. Taken more risks instead of playing it safe

By their forties and fifties, many people cling to security: stable jobs, predictable routines, safe investments. But people in their seventies often say they wish they’d been bolder.

As psychologist Erik Erikson explained, later life is about weighing integrity against despair. And integrity often comes from knowing you lived fully—not just safely.

One man in his seventies told me, “You won’t remember the times you fell. You’ll remember the times you didn’t even try.” He wasn’t talking about wild stunts, but about the quiet risks: moving to a new city, changing careers, pursuing a relationship, learning something new.

Failure fades. Regret lingers.

6. Learned to enjoy the present moment

This one’s almost universal. In their forties and fifties, many people lived in “someday” mode: when the mortgage is paid off, when the kids are grown, when retirement comes. They postponed joy.

By seventy, they look back and realize life isn’t made of milestones—it’s made of the daily rhythm: coffee on the porch, random dinners out, sunsets you didn’t rush past.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development—the longest-running study on happiness—backs this up. Well-being in later life isn’t about wealth or status, but about how fully people engaged with the everyday moments of living.

When I look back at my own happiest memories so far, they aren’t the big “wins.” They’re late-night jam sessions with friends, aimless road trips, mornings spent walking with a camera. Small, ordinary things that feel extraordinary in hindsight.

7. Let go of grudges faster

Several people admitted they wasted years, sometimes decades, holding onto resentment. The funny thing is, the anger rarely hurt the other person. It mostly poisoned their own peace of mind.

One woman told me she avoided her sister for fifteen years over a fight she barely remembered the details of. “When we finally reconciled, I couldn’t believe how much of my life I’d given away to bitterness.”

Psychologists note that holding grudges keeps our stress hormones elevated, damaging health over time. Forgiveness isn’t about excusing behavior—it’s about freeing ourselves from carrying a weight too heavy for too long.

It made me rethink the small annoyances I sometimes nurse. Do I really want to look back in thirty years and realize I dragged them with me the whole way?

8. Kept learning new skills instead of assuming it was too late

In midlife, it’s easy to believe that learning belongs to the young. But people in their seventies often regret assuming their best chances to grow were behind them.

They wish they’d picked up new hobbies, studied new fields, or challenged their brains with something unfamiliar. Not for career advancement, but for joy.

Neuroscience backs this up. Studies show that learning new skills in midlife builds neural connections that protect memory and resilience in old age. It’s like compound interest for the brain.

For me, photography has become that skill. Every time I pick up my camera, I feel both clumsy and curious—exactly the mindset that keeps us young.

9. Prioritized health in relationships, not just longevity

Plenty of people can say they kept a marriage for decades or stayed connected with old friends. But many in their seventies say they wish they’d focused more on the quality of those relationships, not just their length.

Longevity in relationships doesn’t automatically mean depth. People wish they’d been more vulnerable, had the hard conversations sooner, and made intentional efforts to keep relationships nourishing.

As psychiatrist George Vaillant, who led part of the Harvard study, once said, “The key to healthy aging is relationships, relationships, relationships.” Not just having them—but tending to them.

The truth is, relationships don’t stay meaningful on autopilot. They need investment, honesty, and sometimes, a willingness to repair what’s been neglected.

The bottom line

The wisdom from people in their seventies is clear: your forties and fifties aren’t just maintenance years. They’re design years. The choices you make now sketch out the shape of the decades ahead.

The biggest regrets aren’t about missed adventures so much as neglected health, delayed joy, unspoken words, and unattended relationships.

Maybe the better question isn’t, What will I regret at seventy? but, What will I be proud I started today?