The 5 simple shifts that can help you create a happier life (even if the world feels heavy right now)

Life rarely unfolds in neat, predictable ways. Plans change. Challenges appear out of nowhere. Some mornings, you wake up feeling like the world is spinning faster than you can keep up with.

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “I’ll be happy when things settle down,” you’re not alone. But here’s the truth: the world rarely “settles down.” It’s messy, unpredictable, and often beyond our control.

What we can do is learn to build happiness in the middle of the mess. Happiness isn’t about waiting for perfect conditions — it’s about making small, intentional shifts that help us thrive despite the chaos.

In my work, I’ve seen that five shifts can make an enormous difference. These aren’t big, overwhelming changes. They’re simple, practical adjustments you can start today. Each one builds resilience, clarity, and joy — even when life feels anything but calm.

I explore this in more detail in my video A Toolkit for Building a Happier Life in a Messy World. You can watch it here.

In this article, I’ll walk you through five simple shifts you can make right now. Each one builds resilience, clarity, and joy — even when life feels anything but calm.

1. Reflect before you react

Have you ever noticed how quickly your mind leaps into overdrive when something stressful happens? The email you didn’t want to receive. The unexpected bill. The phone call that throws your plans off course.

Your brain’s natural reaction is to fire up stress responses — racing thoughts, tight shoulders, shallow breath. But reflection changes everything.

Neuroscience shows that when we pause and reflect, even briefly, we switch from automatic, reactive circuits in the brain to more thoughtful, intentional ones. This gives us back a sense of control.

A simple practice: the next time you feel stressed, stop and ask yourself, “What’s really happening here, and how do I want to respond?”

You can also use journaling as a reflection tool. Take five minutes to write down what you’re feeling without censoring yourself. The act of putting emotions on paper helps calm the brain’s amygdala, reducing stress and giving you space to think more clearly.

Reflection prompt: When I face challenges, do I react on autopilot, or do I pause to reflect first?

2. Reset old habits that no longer serve you

Much of our daily life runs on habit. From the moment you reach for your phone in the morning to the way you wind down at night, habits shape your day — and your happiness.

But here’s the catch: not all habits serve you well. Some drain your energy or reinforce negativity. Think of the endless doom-scrolling on your phone, the nightly glass (or two) of wine that disrupts your sleep, or the constant habit of saying yes to commitments when you really mean no.

The good news? Habits can be reset. Start small. Choose one habit you know isn’t working for you. Then replace it with something tiny but positive.

For example:

• Instead of reaching for your phone first thing, step outside and take three deep breaths.
• Instead of scrolling late at night, read two pages of a book.
• Instead of automatically saying yes, practice pausing and saying, “Let me think about that.”

Research shows that small shifts compound over time. Each new habit becomes a building block for happiness.

Reflection prompt: What’s one habit in my life that drains me, and what’s one small change I could make today?

3. Recalibrate around what matters most

It’s easy to get swept along by busyness — responding to emails, juggling responsibilities, doing what others expect. But here’s the question: are your daily actions aligned with your values?

When you live out of alignment with your values, you feel restless, unfulfilled, even resentful. When you recalibrate around what matters most, life feels clearer and lighter.

Take a moment to list your top three values. It could be kindness, curiosity, growth, health, connection, or integrity. Then ask yourself: How did I live these values yesterday?

For example, if one of your values is connection but you spent all day glued to your laptop, it may be time to recalibrate. Could you phone a friend, schedule a coffee, or simply look your partner in the eye and have a real conversation?

Values are your internal compass. They remind you what matters when life gets noisy. Recalibrating around them is one of the most powerful shifts you can make toward greater happiness.

Reflection prompt: Which of my values did I honor yesterday, and which ones need more attention today?

4. Renew your energy daily

Happiness doesn’t just live in the mind — it’s deeply connected to your body and energy. When your energy is drained, even small challenges feel overwhelming. When your energy is renewed, you approach life with resilience and optimism.

Renewal isn’t about big spa days or two-week holidays. It’s about tiny, daily rituals that recharge you.

Some ideas:

• A morning walk to clear your head.
• Five minutes of deep breathing between tasks.
• A gratitude ritual before bed, writing down three things that went well.
• Listening to uplifting music instead of the news first thing in the morning.

Neuroscience shows that rituals create predictability, which calms the nervous system. They anchor you in the present moment and give your brain a sense of safety — essential for happiness.

The key is consistency, not perfection. One small daily renewal practice will shift your energy more than an occasional grand gesture.

Reflection prompt: What’s one tiny ritual I could add to my day to renew my energy?

5. Recreate your next chapter

Too often, we think happiness depends on the “big” events — the dream job, the big move, the long-awaited holiday. But happiness is built in the everyday choices we make to shape our lives.

Recreating your next chapter doesn’t require a dramatic overhaul. It’s about seeing yourself as the designer of your life, not just the passenger.

Ask yourself: What’s one area of my life I’d like to re-imagine? It could be your work, your relationships, your daily structure, or your creative pursuits.

Then take one small step to begin. Maybe it’s enrolling in a class you’ve always been curious about. Maybe it’s creating a weekly ritual of Sunday dinners with friends. Maybe it’s writing a personal vision statement that inspires you.

The act of recreating — of imagining new possibilities — reignites joy and purpose. It reminds you that no matter how messy the world feels, you still have the power to create a life that feels meaningful.

Reflection prompt: What’s one small step I could take to begin recreating my next chapter?

Bringing it all together

Life will always have its messiness. The goal isn’t to eliminate it but to build happiness in the middle of it.

When you:

• Reflect before you react,
• Reset habits that drain you,
• Recalibrate around your values,
• Renew your energy daily, and
• Recreate your next chapter —

…you create a toolkit for living with greater clarity, joy, and resilience.

Happiness isn’t waiting for you in the future. It’s something you can build today, through small, intentional shifts.

Ready to go deeper?

If these ideas resonate with you, you’ll find more practical strategies, exercises, and reflection prompts in my ebook A Toolkit for Building a Happier Life in a Messy World. It walks you step-by-step through the process of reflecting, resetting, recalibrating, renewing, and recreating your life.

And if you’re navigating a major life transition — like retirement — you might also enjoy my new online course Your Retirement, Your Way: Thriving, Dreaming and Reinventing Life in Your 60s and Beyond where I guide you through designing a purposeful, fulfilling next chapter.

Because no matter how messy the world gets, you deserve to build a life that feels happier and more aligned with who you truly are.