If you do these 10 things, you're the grandparent every kid wishes they had

Being a grandparent comes with a certain magic.

You’re part history-keeper, part mentor, part safe haven—and if you do it right, you’re also a child’s favorite person to hang out with.

It’s not about money, or spoiling kids with gifts. It’s about the way you show up. The way you make them feel seen, heard, and loved.

Here are ways to do that.

1) You listen without judgment

Think back: when was the last time someone truly listened to you without trying to fix, correct, or give you advice?

For kids, that’s rare. Parents are often caught up in rules, schoolwork, and boundaries. But grandparents? You have the opportunity to just listen.

When a child feels you’re genuinely interested in their world—whether that’s Minecraft strategies, a new drawing, or middle school drama—they feel safe opening up.

Listening without jumping in with solutions makes you the confidant they didn’t know they needed.

2) You show curiosity about their world

Kids know when you’re faking interest. They also know when your curiosity is real.

Yes, the YouTubers they love may be loud and chaotic. Yes, their music might not sound like music at all to your ears.

But if you ask them why they like it, and really try to understand, you’re bridging a gap most adults don’t bother crossing.

I once sat with my niece and asked her to explain TikTok dances to me.

Half an hour later, I was laughing and out of breath, and she was thrilled that I cared enough to learn.

That’s the power of curiosity—it makes kids feel like their world matters.

3) You create traditions

Traditions don’t have to be fancy. They just have to be consistent.

Maybe it’s Saturday morning pancakes when they sleep over. Maybe it’s a yearly trip to the local fair. Maybe it’s a “just us” walk after Thanksgiving dinner.

Psychologists say traditions give kids a sense of stability and belonging. They anchor memories and create anticipation.

When your grandkids are adults, these small rituals will be the stories they tell.

4) You give them space to make mistakes

Parents often worry about mistakes leading to bad grades, broken rules, or messy bedrooms.

Grandparents can step back and see mistakes differently—as experiments.

If a child feels safe enough to fail in front of you, that’s huge. It means you’ve created an environment where they can be fully themselves.

Once, while traveling in Italy, I noticed how kids were allowed to run through plazas, trip, and fall without adults rushing to scold or hover.

They got up, dusted off, and kept running. That image always stuck with me. Kids need that same freedom in their relationships with us.

5) You share your stories

Kids might roll their eyes at “back in my day” lectures. But what they really love? Stories.

Not the polished ones. The messy, funny, human ones.

Tell them about the time you messed up a school play, or when you got lost on vacation, or how you once believed something ridiculous.

These stories don’t just entertain—they give kids permission to be imperfect.

Stories are how wisdom is passed down, but they’re also how laughter is shared. And laughter builds bonds faster than almost anything else.

6) You let them teach you something

This one flips the usual dynamic. Instead of you being the wise one, let them be the expert.

Ask them to show you their favorite video game, how to edit a photo, or what slang words mean. Kids light up when they get to be the teacher.

It’s a way of saying: your knowledge is valuable, too.

I’ve mentioned this before, but one of the fastest ways to connect with anyone—child or adult—is to genuinely learn from them. It’s an act of respect.

7) You encourage creativity

Every child has creative energy bubbling under the surface. But not every adult gives them the space to express it.

That doesn’t mean buying them endless art supplies. It could be as simple as keeping a drawer of scrap paper, pens, and tape at your house.

Or asking, “What story would you write if you were an author?”

A friend of mine keeps a box of old instruments in his garage—an out-of-tune guitar, a tambourine, a harmonica.

When the grandkids visit, the “garage band” comes to life. The music isn’t great, but the joy is.

Creativity is messy. But it’s also one of the greatest gifts you can encourage.

8) You model kindness

Kids are watching you closely. More than you realize.

If they see you tip generously, greet strangers kindly, or pick up trash in the park without making a big deal about it, those actions stick.

One of my favorite books on behavioral science points out that values are “caught” more than they’re “taught.”

Kids absorb them by watching what you do, not listening to what you say.

If you want to be remembered as the grandparent every kid wished they had, don’t lecture on kindness. Practice it.

9) You make time feel unhurried

Life moves fast. Parents juggle school, work, activities. Schedules run the show.

But when kids come to you, you can give them the gift of slowness.

Take a walk where the destination doesn’t matter. Bake cookies and let them spill flour everywhere. Sit on the porch and watch the sky change colors.

These moments of unhurried presence feel like luxury to kids. They may not have the words for it, but they’ll remember the calm of being with you.

10) You love them for who they are, not who you want them to be

This might be the most important one.

It’s tempting to wish your grandchild would pick up your old hobbies, share your political views, or live the way you think is best.

But unconditional love means loving them as they are—loud, shy, quirky, uncertain, or all of the above.

I think back to one of my grandmothers who never once tried to shape me into something else.

She didn’t always understand my choices, but she made it clear she was on my side. That kind of support is rare, and it still means everything.

Kids don’t forget the people who loved them without an agenda.

The bottom line

Being the kind of grandparent kids dream of isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present, curious, and kind.

It’s about listening more than you talk, laughing more than you lecture, and showing them that their ideas, stories, and mistakes all have value.

Do these ten things, and you’ll give your grandkids more than just good memories.

You’ll give them a foundation of love they’ll carry for the rest of their lives.