They're not delusional—they're demonstrating something profound about how humans create meaning through care
My friend Marcus was explaining why he couldn't join us for dinner. "Clementine has been anxious since the construction started next door," he said, pulling out his phone to show us a video. "I need to be home for bedtime or she won't settle."
Clementine, I should mention, is a tabby cat.
The video showed Marcus reading to Clementine from a picture book, the cat curled against his chest, purring audibly. "She likes the one about the runaway bunny," he explained. "The repetition is soothing."
A decade ago, I might have exchanged glances with the others at the table. But watching Marcus—a senior software engineer who runs marathons and builds furniture in his spare time—speak about his cat's emotional needs with the same gravity he brings to debugging code, I recognized something I've been noticing more and more.
The people who unselfconsciously refer to their pets as their children aren't performing cute. They're revealing something fundamental about how they approach relationships and responsibility. After years of observing friends, colleagues, and strangers who use parental language for their pets, I've noticed they tend to share certain approaches to life that extend far beyond their furry dependents.
Here are 8 traits I keep seeing in people who genuinely consider themselves pet parents.
1. They take emotional responsibility seriously
When someone calls their dog their "baby," they're often signaling that they've accepted full emotional accountability for another being's wellbeing. This isn't just about food and shelter—it's about recognizing and responding to emotional states.
These individuals are often the ones who notice when a coworker seems off, who check in after difficult meetings, who remember that their friend's parent had surgery last month. They've practiced reading non-verbal cues with a being who can't use words, and that skill translates.
Marcus can tell when Clementine is anxious versus bored versus seeking attention, distinguishing between subtle variations in behavior. That same attunement helps him manage his team with unusual empathy, picking up on unspoken concerns before they become conflicts.
2. They create rituals around care
Pet parents develop elaborate routines that might seem excessive to outsiders. Morning songs, specific goodbye phrases, bedtime stories—these rituals aren't just quirks. They're deliberate structures that create security and connection.
These same people often anchor their human relationships with meaningful rituals too. They institute weekly check-in calls with siblings, remember to send postcards from trips, create traditions that outlast convenience. They understand that love lives in repetition, not just grand gestures.
My colleague Jennifer plays the same jazz album for her rabbits every morning while preparing their breakfast. "They know Coltrane means good things are coming," she laughs. But she also plays music while cooking for friends, texts her mother every Sunday at the same time, and has maintained a monthly book club for fifteen years.
3. They honor different forms of communication
Living with a pet means becoming fluent in non-verbal languages. Pet parents learn to distinguish between types of meows, interpret ear positions, read the difference between a play bow and a stretch. They accept that meaningful communication doesn't require words.
This comfort with alternative communication often makes them exceptional at bridging differences in human relationships too. They show patience with people who express themselves differently, whether due to culture, neurodiversity, or simple personality differences. They've learned that understanding isn't always about shared language—sometimes it's about patient observation.
4. They practice unconditional positive regard
Your pet doesn't care about your promotion, your appearance, or your mistakes. Pet parents experience daily doses of being loved for simply existing—what psychologists call "unconditional positive regard," accepting someone fully without requiring them to earn it. Many pet parents internalize this approach and extend it to human relationships.
Research confirms that pet relationships can model secure attachment patterns. People who fully embrace pet parenthood often show unusual capacity to love people as they are rather than as they might be. They celebrate small victories, forgive quickly, and find joy in others' simple presence. They've learned from their pets that love doesn't require perfection.
5. They maintain playfulness without self-consciousness
Adult pet parents play without apology. They do voices, create elaborate games, engage in ridiculous conversations with their animals. This willingness to be silly in service of joy often extends beyond pet interactions.
These folks frequently maintain other playful practices—they're game for karaoke, they make up songs while cooking, they aren't afraid to be beginners at things. They've opted out of the exhausting performance of constant adult seriousness.
"I spent twenty minutes yesterday pretending to be a snake to entertain Mochi," my neighbor told me about her bearded dragon. The same woman organizes elaborate scavenger hunts for her adult friends' birthdays and isn't embarrassed about her collection of novelty socks.
6. They respect dependency without resentment
Pets are genuinely dependent. They can't open doors, buy food, or take themselves to the vet. Pet parents who embrace this responsibility fully approach human interdependence with similar grace.
They're often the friends who offer rides without keeping score, who show up for moves without being asked twice, who understand that needing help isn't weakness. They've internalized through daily practice that caring for others isn't burden—it's connection.
Studies on caregiving show that providing care, when chosen freely, actually increases wellbeing. Pet parents live this truth daily.
7. They find meaning in routine maintenance
Scooping litter boxes, daily walks in terrible weather, medication schedules—pet parenthood involves unglamorous, repetitive tasks. People who call their pets their children have often transformed these mundane requirements into meaningful practices.
This ability to find purpose in routine maintenance extends to other areas. They're individuals who understand that relationships require daily tending, that careers are built through consistent small actions, that health comes from repeated choices. They've learned that love is largely logistics handled with care.
"The 6 a.m. walk isn't just about Biscuit's bathroom needs," one dog parent told me. "It's when I plan my day, when we check on our elderly neighbor, when I remember that showing up is what love looks like."
8. They practice grief as part of love
Pet parents live with the knowledge that they'll likely outlive their "children." Rather than avoiding attachment to prevent future pain, they choose to love fully anyway. This conscious choice to embrace joy despite guaranteed future loss creates a particular relationship with mortality.
These individuals often bring this same courage to human relationships. They remain present with aging parents, maintain friendships despite geographical distance, and invest in connections even when permanence isn't guaranteed. They've learned that grief is love's price, and they're willing to pay it.
Final thoughts
I know not everyone who calls their pet their baby displays all these traits. Some just find it convenient shorthand. But there's something revealing in how some respond to pet parents—the eye-rolls, the "it's just a dog" comments. These reactions reveal discomfort with love that doesn't follow traditional scripts.
The pet parents I know aren't confused about biology. What they're doing is more radical: expanding the definition of family based on felt experience rather than formal categories. In a time when traditional structures are evolving and loneliness has reached epidemic proportions, they've found a way to practice deep care and create meaningful bonds.
So the next time someone mentions picking up their "daughter" from doggy daycare, look closer. You might be witnessing someone who has figured out something essential: that family is made through daily acts of care, and that meaning comes from honoring our own experiences of connection.
Calling a pet your child might be less about anthropomorphizing animals and more about recognizing that the love we feel doesn't always fit the language we've inherited. Sometimes the most honest thing is to stretch our words to match our hearts.
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