People who always need the TV on in the background are typically avoiding these 7 things without even realizing it

My Venice Beach apartment used to sound like a sports bar at all hours. ESPN during breakfast, cooking shows while I worked, late-night talk shows as I fell asleep.

It wasn't until my partner asked why I was so uncomfortable with quiet that I realized something was going on beneath the surface.

That constant need for background noise often masks deeper patterns we're not consciously aware of. Let's talk about what's really happening when silence feels like the enemy.

1) Uncomfortable thoughts and emotions

Here's the thing about silence: it creates space for whatever we've been pushing down to bubble up.

When the TV's off and the room goes quiet, suddenly there's nothing between you and your own mind. That work stress you've been ignoring? The conversation you need to have but keep avoiding? All of it rises to the surface.

Clinical psychologist Jenna Carl explains that background noise may be used to distract from or avoid unpleasant emotions and thoughts. We fill our attentional capacity with other stimuli so there are no resources left for the things we're trying to avoid.

I realized this about myself during a power outage. No TV, no music, no podcasts. Just me and the sound of my own breathing.

The thoughts that showed up weren't comfortable. Regrets about past decisions. Anxiety about the future. Questions I'd been too busy to ask myself.

But here's what I learned: those thoughts were there whether I acknowledged them or not. The TV was just helping me pretend they weren't.

2) Loneliness and isolation

Ever notice how TV voices can make an empty apartment feel less empty?

There's actual psychology behind this. Research shows that TV can act as what experts call social surrogates, easing feelings of loneliness and helping the nervous system relax.

The laughter from a sitcom, the banter between news anchors, even the predictable dialogue from a show you've watched a dozen times creates the illusion of companionship.

Living alone in Venice Beach, I'd sometimes realize I'd gone whole days where my longest conversation was ordering coffee. The TV filled that void. It gave me the sense that people were around, even when they weren't.

But using TV as a substitute for actual human connection is like eating candy when you're hungry for a meal. It might quiet the immediate craving, but it doesn't really nourish you.

3) Silence itself

This might sound circular: some people aren't avoiding anything specific in silence. They're avoiding the silence itself.

If you grew up in a chaotic household, silence can actually feel threatening. Your nervous system learned that noise equals normal, and quiet equals something's wrong.

Studies linking chronic household noise to anxiety in children suggest that constant background sound becomes your baseline. When it's absent, your brain goes on alert.

A friend of mine who grew up with five siblings told me she can't sleep without a fan running. Not because she's hot. Because complete quiet makes her feel like she's waiting for something bad to happen.

For her, background noise isn't masking anything. It's creating the environment her nervous system recognizes as safe.

4) Their own internal monologue

You know that voice in your head that won't shut up?

Some people have particularly active internal monologues. They're constantly analyzing, critiquing, replaying conversations, planning ahead. It's exhausting.

Background TV gives that voice something to focus on besides its own endless loop. The chatter provides an external focal point so your brain doesn't spiral into overthinking mode.

I noticed this most when I was trying to write. My brain would ping between a dozen different thoughts, none of them particularly useful. But throw on some background TV and suddenly the mental noise settled down enough for me to actually focus.

The irony is that we're using one form of noise to quiet another. But if it works, it works.

5) Boredom and understimulation

We live in an era of constant stimulation. Phones buzzing, notifications pinging, information flowing nonstop.

When you remove all that external input, your brain sometimes doesn't know what to do with itself. The quiet feels less peaceful and more like deprivation.

Some people crave constant stimulation and thrive in dynamic environments. Research suggests this is particularly true for extroverts, who often perform better in noisy environments.

That constant hum of the television keeps the mind engaged just enough to feel satisfied without feeling overwhelmed.

But there's a difference between healthy stimulation and addiction to distraction. When you can't tolerate even five minutes of quiet without feeling antsy, that's worth examining.

6) Present moment awareness

Being fully present with yourself sounds great in theory. In practice, it can be uncomfortable as hell.

The present moment means feeling whatever you're actually feeling right now. No escape hatch. No distraction. Just you and reality, face to face.

Background TV keeps you perpetually semi-distracted. You're never quite fully here, which means you're never quite fully feeling whatever's happening in your body and mind.

Most of this happens below conscious awareness. People aren't actively thinking, "I need to avoid present moment awareness." They just know that silence feels unsettling in a way they can't quite name.

Learning to sit with the present moment without constantly reaching for distraction is a skill. And like any skill, it takes practice.

7) The habit itself

Sometimes we're not avoiding anything profound. We're just stuck in a loop.

If you've had the TV on in the background for years, your brain has formed strong neural pathways connecting "home" with "TV sounds." Silence feels wrong simply because it's unfamiliar.

Psychology tells us that habits are powerful precisely because they become automatic. You walk in the door, you grab the remote. You don't think about it. You just do it.

Breaking this loop requires conscious effort. You have to notice the urge, pause, and choose differently. That's hard work, especially when the habit provides comfort.

I had to literally hide my remote for a week to break my own pattern. The first few days were rough. But eventually, my brain adjusted. Quiet started feeling normal again.

Final thoughts

Look, there's nothing inherently wrong with background TV.

If it genuinely helps you focus, or provides pleasant company, or just makes your space feel more alive, that's fine. Not everything needs to be pathologized.

But if you can't tolerate silence at all, if the idea of turning off the TV creates real anxiety, that's worth paying attention to.

What you're avoiding might be trying to tell you something important. And sometimes, the most courageous thing you can do is press pause and actually listen.