If you’re still holding onto these 10 habits from your "glory days", you’re sabotaging your own happiness

I was at a coffee shop in Venice last week when I overheard two guys talking about their "glory days" in college. They were both clearly pushing forty, like me, but the way they spoke made it sound like life peaked at twenty-three and it's been downhill ever since.

It got me thinking about all the habits I dragged into my thirties that really had no business being there. Some of them seemed harmless at the time. Others were actively making me miserable, but I couldn't see it because I thought that's just how life worked.

The truth is, your twenties are a testing ground. You're supposed to try things, mess up, figure out who you are. But at some point, you need to let go of the patterns that worked back then because they're actively working against you now.

Here are the habits worth leaving behind.

1) Prioritizing busy over productive

In my twenties, I wore exhaustion like a badge of honor. If I wasn't scrambling between three projects, answering emails at midnight, and running on four hours of sleep, I felt like I wasn't doing enough.

The problem? I was busy, but I wasn't effective.

I've mentioned this before, but it took me years to understand the difference between motion and progress. Busy feels important. It makes you look committed. But it's often just noise covering up the fact that you're avoiding the hard, focused work that actually moves the needle.

Now I block out time for deep work. I say no to meetings that don't serve a purpose. I protect my energy instead of burning through it just to feel like I'm hustling.

Being busy doesn't mean you're winning. It usually just means you haven't figured out what matters yet.

2) Treating your body like it's indestructible

At twenty-five, I could survive on cold pizza, three hours of sleep, and pure adrenaline. My body bounced back from everything.

At forty-four, that same lifestyle would put me in bed for a week.

Your twenties let you get away with a lot. You can skip meals, pound energy drinks, sit at a desk for twelve hours straight, and your body just takes it. But that debt compounds. And eventually, it comes due.

I went vegan eight years ago after realizing I'd been treating my body like a dumpster and expecting it to perform like a machine. It wasn't just about ethics for me. It was about finally respecting the only body I'm ever going to have.

You don't have to go plant-based. But you do have to stop pretending you're invincible. Sleep matters. Movement matters. What you eat matters. Not because you're getting old, but because you're getting smarter about what your body actually needs.

3) Keeping friendships out of obligation

There are people I was close with in my twenties who I have nothing in common with now. And for a long time, I felt guilty about that.

We'd meet up every few months, force conversation, and I'd leave feeling drained instead of energized. But I kept doing it because we had history. Because letting go felt like failure.

Here's what I eventually realized: outgrowing people isn't cruel. It's natural.

Your twenties are full of circumstantial friendships. You're close because you lived in the same dorm, worked the same job, or went to the same parties. But as you get older, proximity stops being enough.

The friendships that matter now are the ones built on mutual respect, shared values, and genuine enjoyment of each other's company. Everything else is just maintenance you don't owe anyone.

4) Saying yes when you mean no

I used to say yes to everything. Every invitation, every favor, every "quick question" that turned into an hour-long project. I thought it made me helpful. Reliable. A good person.

What it actually made me was resentful.

People-pleasing doesn't make you kind. It makes you dishonest. You're lying about your capacity, your interest, and your boundaries because you're too afraid to disappoint someone.

But here's the thing: disappointing people is inevitable. Rudá Iandê puts it perfectly in "Laughing in the Face of Chaos": "Being human means inevitably disappointing and hurting others, and the sooner you accept this reality, the easier it becomes to navigate life's challenges."

Learning to say no without guilt or over-explanation has been one of the most liberating shifts I've made. It's not rude. It's honest. And the people worth keeping around will respect it.

5) Chasing external validation

In my twenties, I needed other people to tell me I was good at what I did. I needed the likes, the compliments, the reassurance that I was on the right track.

It's exhausting living that way. You're constantly performing, constantly seeking approval, never quite sure if you're enough.

The shift happens when you realize that external validation is a moving target. There's always someone who won't like your work, won't get your vision, won't think you're as impressive as you hoped.

What matters more is whether you're proud of what you're creating. Whether it aligns with your values. Whether it reflects who you actually are, not who you think people want you to be.

I still share my work. I still appreciate feedback. But I don't need it to feel legitimate anymore.

6) Waiting for permission to start

How much time did you waste in your twenties waiting for someone to tell you that you were ready? That you were qualified? That it was your turn?

I spent years thinking I needed more experience, more credentials, more proof before I could call myself a writer. I was waiting for someone to give me permission to be what I already was.

Nobody's coming to give you that permission. You just have to start.

My partner and I have been living together for five years, and they still cook with ingredients I'd never touch. But they don't wait for my approval to make what they want. They just do it. And sometimes I even try it.

That's how everything works. You don't wait until you're perfect. You don't wait until someone validates your idea. You just begin, adjust, and keep going.

7) Staying in situations that don't serve you

Bad jobs. Toxic relationships. Living situations that drain you. In your twenties, you tolerate these things because you think that's just how life is. You think you're paying your dues.

But there's a difference between temporary discomfort and prolonged misery.

I stayed at a job for two years longer than I should have because I was afraid of instability. I thought sticking it out made me responsible. Really, it just made me bitter.

The older you get, the more you realize that your time and energy are finite. Spending them on things that don't align with who you are or where you're going isn't noble. It's just a waste.

You don't owe anyone your unhappiness. Not your employer, not your family, not even yourself.

8) Comparing your progress to everyone else's

Social media makes this one brutal. Everyone's highlight reel is on display, and it's easy to feel like you're falling behind.

In my twenties, I constantly measured myself against other writers. They got the book deal. They got the big feature. They hit milestones I hadn't even approached yet. And it made me feel like I was failing.

But here's the reality: everyone's timeline is different. And most of the success you see online is either exaggerated, the result of years of invisible work, or built on circumstances you don't have access to.

The only comparison that matters is the one between who you were last year and who you are now. Are you growing? Are you learning? Are you moving toward something that feels true to you?

If yes, you're doing fine. Everyone else's pace is irrelevant.

9) Believing happiness is a destination

Your twenties sell you the idea that once you hit certain milestones, everything will fall into place. Once you get the job, the relationship, the apartment, the whatever, you'll finally be happy.

But then you get those things, and the happiness fades. So you chase the next thing. And the next. And it never quite lands the way you thought it would.

That's because happiness isn't a finish line. It's not something you achieve and then coast on. It's a practice. A series of small, intentional choices that add up over time.

I feel happiest when I'm cooking a meal from scratch, wandering through the farmers market, or spending an afternoon with my camera. Not because those things are impressive, but because they're mine. They reflect what I actually care about, not what I think I'm supposed to care about.

Stop treating happiness like a prize you'll eventually win. Start building it into your days, right now, with what you already have.

10) Ignoring your intuition

This one's subtle, but it's probably the most damaging.

In your twenties, you learn to override your gut. You take advice from people who don't know you. You follow paths that look good on paper but feel wrong in practice. You silence that quiet voice inside because you assume everyone else knows better.

But that voice? That's the only one you can truly trust.

I ignored mine for years. I stayed in situations that felt off because I couldn't rationally explain why. I pursued things that didn't resonate because they seemed like smart moves. And every time, I ended up regretting it.

Your intuition isn't mystical. It's pattern recognition. It's your subconscious processing information faster than your conscious mind can articulate. And the more you ignore it, the quieter it gets.

Learning to trust yourself, even when you can't explain why, is one of the most important skills you'll ever develop. Start practicing it now.

Final thoughts

Your twenties are messy, experimental, and chaotic. They're supposed to be. But at some point, you have to take stock of what's actually working and what's just leftover baggage.

The habits that got you through your twenties aren't necessarily the ones that will carry you forward. And that's okay. Growth means letting go of what no longer fits.

So take a look at the list. If any of these sound familiar, you're not broken. You're just ready for the next phase. And that's worth celebrating.