8 subtle phrases that instantly reveal someone's intelligence level

I used to think intelligence announced itself loudly—through impressive vocabulary, rapid-fire facts, or perfectly crafted arguments. Then I started paying attention to the quieter moments. The pauses. The questions. The way truly brilliant people navigate uncertainty.

Last month, I found myself in a coffee shop eavesdropping (yes, I'm that person) on two conversations happening simultaneously. At one table, someone was explaining cryptocurrency with the confidence of a TED talk, dropping terms like "distributed ledger technology" and "proof of stake" between bites of avocado toast. At the other, two friends were discussing the same topic, but one kept saying things like "Help me understand..." and "What I'm wondering is..."

Guess which conversation I learned more from?

1. "I might be wrong, but..."

This phrase used to strike me as weakness. Now I recognize it as intellectual courage. The smartest people I know aren't afraid to hold their ideas lightly. They present thoughts as experiments rather than declarations, creating space for others to engage without feeling attacked.

There's neuroscience behind this. When we frame our ideas tentatively, we activate different neural pathways than when we speak with certainty. We literally think differently. It's related to what psychologist Carol Dweck calls a growth mindset—treating challenges as opportunities rather than threats.

The power of this phrase extends beyond personal conversations. In every field, from medicine to technology, the people who acknowledge uncertainty often make the most breakthrough discoveries.

2. "Tell me more about that"

My friend Emily, a documentary filmmaker, has this superpower: she can make anyone feel like the most interesting person in the room. Her secret? This simple phrase, delivered with genuine curiosity.

Watch how this phrase transforms everyday conversations. It signals that you're not just waiting for your turn to talk. You're actively building on what others offer. The ancient Stoics understood this—Epictetus taught that we have two ears and one mouth for a reason. But it's not just about the ratio of listening to speaking—it's about the quality of engagement.

Research on curiosity shows how it helps us overcome disconnection and build deeper relationships. "Tell me more" is an invitation to depth, a doorway to understanding someone beyond their surface opinions.

3. "I don't know enough about that to have an opinion"

In our hot-take economy, this phrase feels almost revolutionary. We're expected to have opinions on everything, immediately, in real-time. But intellectual humility—knowing the borders of your knowledge—is a hallmark of genuine intelligence.

I learned this the hard way during a dinner party discussion about urban planning. I was ready to launch into my thoughts on bike lanes when I realized: I'd never actually researched traffic flow, never studied how cities evolve, never considered perspectives beyond my own commute. "I don't know enough about that" became my rescue raft.

The phrase does something magical: it transforms you from a combatant into a student. Suddenly, the person who does know about urban planning becomes your teacher, not your opponent.

4. "What's the best argument against your position?"

This question separates thinkers from mere opinion-havers. It shows you've done the intellectual work of genuinely considering other perspectives, not just cherry-picking evidence that supports what you already believe.

I first encountered this approach in philosophy class, where our professor required us to argue both sides of every issue. But it's equally powerful in everyday conversation. When someone can articulate the strongest opposition to their own views, it demonstrates they've actually wrestled with the complexity of the issue.

It also defuses tension. Instead of setting up camp on opposite sides, you're exploring the terrain together.

5. "How did you come to that conclusion?"

Notice what this isn't: "You're wrong." Or even "I disagree." It's an invitation to share the journey, not just the destination. Smart people are more interested in the process than the product.

This phrase acknowledges that conclusions don't spring fully formed from our heads. They're built from experiences, data, values, and reasoning. By asking about the path, you honor the complexity of how humans actually think.

I use this constantly when interviewing people for articles. It yields far richer responses than "What do you think about X?" because it reveals the architecture of thought, not just its facade.

6. "That's a good point I hadn't considered"

Changing your mind in public feels vulnerable. We're taught to defend our positions like fortresses. But research on cognitive flexibility shows that people who can integrate new information age better cognitively.

The phrase requires two kinds of intelligence: recognizing quality thinking regardless of its source, and the security to admit your initial view was incomplete. It's intellectual generosity in action.

I've watched this phrase transform hostile X threads into productive exchanges. It's like a conversational reset button, shifting from combat to collaboration.

7. "Let me make sure I understand..."

Paraphrasing might seem basic, but it's one of the most sophisticated communication tools we have. It shows you're not just performing active listening—you're doing the work of comprehension.

The smartest people I know are obsessive about understanding before responding. I once watched a renowned physicist spend twenty minutes in a lecture hall making sure she understood a graduate student's question about quantum entanglement. She kept rephrasing: "So you're asking whether the measurement itself creates the correlation, or if it reveals something that was already there?" Each iteration brought them closer to shared understanding.

This practice reveals something important: by clarifying first, you often discover you're not as far apart as you thought.

8. "I've been thinking about what you said"

Intelligence isn't just processing speed—it's depth of consideration. This phrase signals that you don't treat conversations as disposable, that ideas can marinate and evolve in your mind.

Some of my best friendships are built on this practice. We'll have a conversation about, say, whether true altruism exists, and weeks later one of us will text: "Still thinking about our altruism talk. What if..."

Recent research on the neuroscience of creativity shows that our brains are most innovative during periods of rest and reflection, when the default mode network is active. This isn't idle time—it's when our minds make unexpected connections.

Final thoughts

These phrases share something crucial: they prioritize understanding over being understood, connection over performance. They recognize that intelligence isn't about having all the answers—it's about asking better questions.

In our increasingly polarized world, these subtle linguistic choices feel almost radical. They create space for nuance, for changing minds, for admitting that most important questions don't have simple answers.

The real revelation? Using these phrases doesn't just signal intelligence—it cultivates it. Every time we admit uncertainty, ask for clarification, or acknowledge good points from unexpected sources, we're building the mental flexibility that defines truly smart people.

So the next time you're in a conversation that matters, try reaching for one of these phrases instead of your usual rhetorical weapons. You might be surprised by what emerges in the space between certainty and curiosity. That space, it turns out, is where intelligence actually lives.