The etiquette rules that once shaped an entire generation through fear and physical discipline have vanished without a trace.
Every generation believes the one after them has lost the plot when it comes to basic courtesy.
But here's something worth considering: in the 1950s and 60s, 40% of Americans named "whipping" as the most effective punishment for misbehaving children.
That's not hyperbole. Boomer kids weren't just scolded for breaking etiquette rules, they faced real physical consequences.
Meanwhile, Gen Z has grown up in an entirely different world, where many of these rules don't just seem outdated—they're completely unknown.
Let's look at seven manners that got Boomer kids in serious trouble, manners that today's youngest generation has probably never even encountered.
1. Answering the telephone properly
When the phone rang in a Boomer household, you didn't just pick up and say "yeah?"
You answered with your full name or a polite greeting. "Johnson residence, this is Michael speaking."
It wasn't optional. It was drilled into you from the moment you were tall enough to reach the receiver.
The logic? Respect for whoever was calling. Clear communication. Representing your family well.
Mess this up, especially if it was an important caller, and you'd hear about it. Sometimes with more than words.
For Gen Z, this rule is practically from another planet. Most have never answered a landline in their life. Phone calls feel intrusive. Everything happens via text or DM.
The irony? Every generation, including Gen Z, actually agrees that screens interrupting face-to-face conversations is rude. The difference is what medium matters.
2. Standing when adults entered the room
Picture this: You're sitting in class. The principal walks in. Every single student immediately stands up.
Or you're at home watching TV. Your grandmother arrives. You jump to your feet.
This wasn't about military-style obedience. It was about showing respect for authority and elders.
For Boomers, this was automatic. Children had to stand up on any occasion when an adult entered the room, even if that adult was their own parent.
Today's kids would find this bizarre. Gen Z values equality and questions hierarchical power structures. Standing just because someone is older feels performative to them.
Not wrong, necessarily. Just different.
3. Writing handwritten thank-you notes
After every birthday. After every dinner invitation. After receiving any gift.
You sat down with pen and paper and wrote a proper thank-you note.
This wasn't a suggestion. It was mandatory. Parents monitored it closely, making sure each note was personalized and sincere.
Fail to do this? You might lose privileges. Or worse.
Gen Z sends a quick text or DM. Maybe an emoji-filled story. The sentiment is there—the format has just evolved.
Interestingly, studies show Gen Z is considered the most grateful generation. They just express it digitally and immediately rather than through the mail.
4. Never speaking unless spoken to
This one is harsh by today's standards.
Boomer children were expected to be quiet in adult spaces. You didn't interrupt. You didn't offer your opinion unless asked.
"Children should be seen and not heard" wasn't just a saying—it was enforced.
Break this rule, especially in public or around guests, and you'd face consequences. Sometimes immediate, sometimes waiting until you got home.
Gen Z has grown up in a world that values their voice. They're encouraged to speak up, share opinions, question authority.
The shift isn't just cultural—it's psychological. We've learned that silencing children can harm their development and self-worth.
But in the Boomer era, compliance was king.
5. Proper table manners without exception
No elbows on the table. Wait until everyone is served before eating. Chew with your mouth closed. Use the correct fork. Say "May I be excused?" before leaving.
These weren't guidelines. They were laws.
Schools reinforced these rules with strict discipline, including corporal punishment for violations.
At home, breaking table etiquette could mean going to bed hungry or facing physical discipline.
Gen Z eats differently. Meals on the go. Takeout in front of Netflix. The formal family dinner is rarer.
They're not necessarily less polite—they've just adapted to a faster, more casual world.
6. Never talking back to adults
This was non-negotiable.
If an adult corrected you, criticized you, or punished you, your only acceptable response was "Yes, sir" or "Yes, ma'am."
Defending yourself? Explaining your side? Pointing out unfairness? That was "talking back," and it could escalate things quickly.
The underlying belief: age equals wisdom. Respect your elders meant accepting their authority without question.
Gen Z approaches this differently. They value dialogue over obedience. They expect explanations, not just orders.
This has created friction, sure. But it's also produced a generation more willing to speak truth to power.
7. Dressing appropriately for every occasion
Church? Your Sunday best. Dinner at a friend's house? Dress up. Flying on a plane? You wore your nicest clothes.
Dressing well wasn't about vanity. It was about respect—for the occasion, for other people, for yourself.
Show up in jeans or casual wear to the wrong event, and you'd embarrass your family. That embarrassment often came with consequences.
Gen Z lives in athleisure and streetwear. Comfort and self-expression matter more than conforming to dress codes.
And honestly? The world has largely moved in their direction. Even corporate offices have relaxed their standards.
Final thoughts
Were Boomers more polite because of these strict rules and harsh punishments?
Maybe. But they were also more fearful, more compliant, less likely to question authority.
Gen Z might not know these etiquette rules, but they've developed their own codes of respect. They value authenticity over performance. They care about mental health. They question systems instead of blindly following them.
Each generation shapes manners around its values and context.
The real question isn't whether old rules were better or worse. It's whether we can learn from each other without dismissing either perspective entirely.
Because good manners, at their core, aren't about which fork you use or whether you stand when someone enters the room.
They're about making others feel valued and respected.
And that? That never goes out of style.
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