People who seem effortlessly classy never do these 7 things in public

There’s a woman who walks her dog in my neighborhood every morning. She’s not flashy—no designer bag, no massive sunglasses—but something about her just feels… refined.

She holds herself with this quiet kind of grace. Smiles when she says good morning. Doesn’t look at her phone. Doesn’t try too hard.

It got me thinking: What is it about certain people that makes them feel classy without being snobby or stiff?

It’s not about wealth. Or wearing all neutrals. Or knowing which fork to use at a dinner party.

Class, as I’ve come to understand it, is about what you do, yes, but also about what you don’t do. It’s about how you show up in shared spaces without dominating them.

Here are seven things I’ve noticed classy people avoid doing in public—and why they matter more than you think.

1. They never complain loudly about “bad service”

We’ve all witnessed it. Someone at a café starts loudly criticizing the barista because their drink isn’t exactly right. Or a diner waves down a server mid-shift, irritated that their toast is too brown.

Yes, it’s okay to ask for what you need. But classy people do it softly. They don’t make a scene or treat employees like underlings.

There’s dignity in staying calm. You don’t need to humiliate someone to stand up for yourself.

I once watched a woman politely return an overcooked omelet at a crowded brunch place. No eye-rolls. No sighing. Just a clear request and a thank-you. The server lit up. Everyone relaxed.

You can advocate for yourself and maintain someone else’s dignity. That’s real class.

This also extends to airports, rideshares, salons—anywhere you’re being helped by someone whose day is already full. You don’t need to “teach someone a lesson” to be taken seriously. Often, it’s the calmest voice that gets the fastest resolution.

2. They don’t talk loudly on speakerphone

This one’s simple but so overlooked.

If you've ever been on a train, in a waiting room, or at the grocery store while someone loudly FaceTimes their cousin about their sinus infection—you know the feeling.

Classy people keep their calls private. They step aside. Use headphones. Lower their voice.

Not because they’re uptight, but because they recognize shared spaces aren’t their personal podcast studio.

It’s a sign of emotional intelligence—knowing when and how your behavior might affect others, even if unintentionally.

3. They don’t humblebrag

You know the move.

“Oh, I was just so swamped with work—I had three big campaigns launch this week and had to turn down another speaking gig in Berlin.”

Classy people don’t do this.

They might be accomplished. They might even be proud of what they’ve done. But they let the work speak for itself.

There’s something magnetic about people who don’t need to prove anything.

As author Susan Cain noted in Quiet, “There’s zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas.” And I’d say the same goes for being impressive.

Classy folks keep it light in public. They're curious instead of competitive. Interested instead of impressive.

If they do talk about success, it’s often framed with gratitude, not superiority. They don’t need you to know everything they’ve done—they’re more interested in who you are and what makes you light up.

4. They don’t trash-talk other people

Let me tell you about a friend I used to meet for lunch once a week. At first, it was fun—we’d laugh, gossip a little, vent about work.

But I started to notice something. She always had a story about someone being annoying, incompetent, selfish, ridiculous.

And I started to wonder: What does she say about me when I’m not around?

Classy people don’t make others the punchline of their stories. Even if they have a juicy complaint, they save it for their therapist, journal, or very inner circle.

They don’t need to build themselves up by putting others down.

That's why, when you’re around them, you feel safe. That’s what keeps people coming back.

Bonus: It’s way easier to hold a conversation when you’re not scanning it for judgment landmines. Classy people talk with people, not about them.

5. They don’t over-explain themselves

Ever noticed how confident people don’t ramble? They give you the info you need—no long justifications, no apologies for existing.

This one was a game-changer for me. I used to over-explain everything: why I couldn’t come to something, why I ordered what I ordered, why I wasn’t drinking that night.

It came from a good place—wanting to be polite—but it made me sound unsure.

Classy people trust their choices. They don’t need a 10-minute prologue every time they do something different.

It’s not cold. It’s actually refreshing. You can say, “No, I can’t make it this week,” and that’s enough.

You can still be kind and firm at the same time. The key is dropping the fear that people need constant context in order to accept your boundaries. They don’t.

6. They don’t seek constant attention

Classy people aren’t allergic to attention—but they don’t chase it.

They don’t interrupt, dominate, or fish for compliments in social settings. They don’t need to be the loudest one at the table.

And ironically? That often draws people in.

Think of someone you admire who holds court in a room without shouting. They listen more than they speak. When they do share something, it feels intentional, not performative.

That kind of self-possession is hard to fake.

It’s not about being quiet or passive. It’s about being selective. Present. Tuned in.

The energy feels less like “look at me” and more like “I’m here, I’m solid, and I don’t need to prove it.” That’s magnetic.

7. They never act like the rules don’t apply to them

Line-cutting. Parking where they shouldn’t. Ignoring signs.

None of that screams “elegant rebel.” It just reads as entitled.

The classiest people I know hold the door open, wait their turn, tip generously, return their shopping cart. Not because they’re obsessed with manners—but because they move through the world with respect.

And yes, this includes how they treat people they don’t need anything from.

I once saw a woman in her seventies stop what she was doing to help a teenage cashier who was clearly flustered. No fuss, no patronizing tone. Just calm, grounded kindness. That moment stayed with me far longer than any glossy outfit ever could.

Class doesn’t demand special treatment. It just quietly offers it to others.

Final words

You don’t need a stylist, a certain income bracket, or a high-society invite to carry yourself with class. In fact, you don’t even need to say much.

Class shows up in the pauses. In the tone. In the choices you make when no one’s watching—or when everyone is.

These aren’t hard rules. We all slip sometimes (I’ve definitely been the person who talked too loud in a café). But the more we notice these habits, the more we can shift toward a version of ourselves that feels quietly grounded.

Because real class isn’t loud. It’s felt.