8 things Gen X does naturally that both Boomers and Millennials had to learn from therapy

Remember that scene in Reality Bites where Winona Ryder's character struggles to define irony in a job interview?

That perfectly captures something about Gen X - we grew up comfortable with ambiguity, contradiction, and the messiness of real life.

While scrolling through social media recently, I noticed something fascinating. My Boomer relatives share articles about "learning to say no" and my Millennial friends post about their therapy breakthroughs around setting boundaries. Meanwhile, my Gen X friends? We've been doing this stuff since we were latchkey kids in the 80s.

Not because we're special or enlightened. We just happened to grow up in a unique cultural moment that accidentally taught us some pretty solid life skills. Skills that both older and younger generations are now paying therapists good money to learn.

Here are eight things we somehow figured out while watching MTV and making mixtapes.

1. Being comfortable with uncertainty

We came of age during massive economic shifts, watched the Berlin Wall fall on TV, and saw our parents' job security evaporate. Nothing felt permanent or guaranteed.

I remember being 15 and watching my dad get laid off from a company he'd worked at for two decades. The lesson? Life changes fast, and you better learn to roll with it.

Boomers grew up believing in institutional stability - work hard, be loyal, get rewarded. When that contract broke, many struggled to adapt. Millennials, raised on participation trophies and structured activities, often seek constant validation and clear paths forward.

But Gen X learned early that uncertainty is just a regular day. We don't need a five-year plan or a guarantee of success. We're comfortable operating in the gray areas because that's where we've always lived.

2. Setting boundaries without guilt

We were the original "I'll be at my friend's house" generation. Our parents worked, we had keys around our necks, and we learned early that taking care of ourselves wasn't selfish - it was necessary.

This translated into an adult ability to say "no" without writing a three-paragraph explanation. We don't feel obligated to answer every text immediately or attend every social event. We learned boundaries through necessity, not through therapy worksheets.

3. Embracing authenticity over image

We grew up watching manufactured pop stars on TRL while discovering authentic voices in underground zines and college radio. This taught us to spot fake from real pretty quickly.

During my music blogging days in early 2000s Los Angeles, I'd interview bands in dive bars and dingy venues. The ones who lasted weren't the ones with the best image consultants - they were the ones who knew who they were.

Gen X doesn't curate our lives for Instagram or maintain Facebook personas for family approval. We post unflattering photos, share our actual thoughts, and don't lose sleep over our "personal brand."

We're watching other generations pay for workshops on "authentic living" when we've been keeping it real since flannel was just something you wore because it was comfortable.

4. Managing anxiety without constant validation

Here's something wild: we dealt with our anxiety by... just dealing with it. No meditation apps, no constant check-ins with friends, no real-time validation from social media likes.

When I was stressed about college applications, I couldn't text my parents from school for reassurance. I couldn't Google "how to handle application anxiety." I just had to sit with the discomfort and figure it out.

This built a kind of emotional resilience that I see other generations actively working to develop. Boomers, raised to suppress emotions, are learning to acknowledge anxiety in therapy. Millennials, who've always had outlets for immediate emotional expression, are learning to self-soothe without external input.

5. Finding meaning without external metrics

We didn't grow up with likes, shares, or follower counts. Our sense of self-worth had to come from somewhere else entirely.

I've mentioned before how my vinyl collection from those indie music days represents hundreds of hours spent discovering bands nobody else cared about. The value wasn't in impressing anyone - it was in the personal joy of discovery.

We learned to pursue interests without documenting them, to achieve things without announcing them, to find satisfaction in experiences that nobody else would ever know about.

Other generations are now paying for coaching sessions on "intrinsic motivation" and "finding your why." We found ours in Tower Records listening booths and libraries, with nobody watching or counting.

6. Accepting imperfection as normal

We grew up with divorced parents, economic recessions, and the clear message that perfect families on TV weren't real. This gave us a surprisingly healthy relationship with failure and flaws.

When things go wrong, we don't spiral into existential crisis or rush to therapy. We shrug, maybe quote some Daria, and keep moving. We know that messy is normal, perfect is suspicious, and good enough is actually pretty good.

Boomers were sold the perfect nuclear family dream and struggle when reality doesn't match. Millennials, raised in the self-esteem movement era, often take imperfection as personal failure. But Gen X enjoys the advantage of never expecting perfection in the first place.

7. Maintaining perspective through ironic detachment

That famous Gen X irony isn't just snark - it's a coping mechanism that therapists now call "cognitive distancing." We learned to step outside our experiences and observe them with bemused detachment.

This isn't about not caring. It's about caring without drowning. When work gets intense, relationships get complicated, or life gets heavy, we have this built-in ability to zoom out and see the absurdity in it all.

I watch friends from other generations work hard in therapy to develop this skill - learning not to catastrophize, learning to observe thoughts without attachment. We developed it naturally, somewhere between Beavis and Butthead episodes and Nirvana lyrics.

8. Building identity beyond career

We watched our parents' company loyalty mean nothing. We graduated into recessions. We knew from day one that we weren't our jobs.

My identity was never "music blogger" even when that's how I paid rent. It was just something I did. This separation between self and career that other generations are working to achieve? We never fused them in the first place.

Boomers often struggle with retirement because their identity is so tied to their careers. Millennials burnout trying to find careers that perfectly align with their passions. Gen X works to live, not the other way around, and we're fine with that.

Wrapping up

Here's the thing: I'm not saying Gen X is better or that we have it all figured out. We have our own issues (trust me, we really do). But growing up in that particular cultural moment - post-idealism, pre-internet, with working parents and cultural messages of skepticism - accidentally taught us some solid life skills.

What's fascinating is watching these become therapeutic goals for other generations. Things we do naturally are being packaged as mindfulness practices, therapeutic breakthroughs, and life coaching objectives.

Maybe the lesson here isn't generational superiority. Maybe it's that different times create different strengths, and we can all learn from each other.

Or maybe we're just really good at overthinking things while pretending we don't care.

That's pretty Gen X too.