The art of confident speaking: 8 habits to eliminate to become a powerful communicator

There is something magnetic about a confident speaker.

They walk into a room, open their mouth, and suddenly people lean in a little closer.

Not because they are the smartest person there, but because they express their ideas clearly, calmly, and with intention.

I used to think this kind of confidence was something you were born with.

Like charisma came baked into your DNA.

But the more I paid attention to great communicators, from chefs leading busy kitchens to leaders managing meetings, the more I realized the opposite was true.

Confident speaking is mostly about what you do not do.

It is discipline.

Editing.

Cleaning up the habits that dilute your presence.

Here are eight habits to eliminate if you want to level up your communication and speak with the kind of confidence that actually sticks.

1) Rambling to fill silence

Let us start with the classic.

You make a point. Someone pauses to process it. And suddenly your brain panics.

You jump back in. You repeat yourself. You add fluff to avoid the silence because silence feels awkward.

I used to do this a lot, especially in my early hospitality days.

When you are serving in a fine dining environment, silence feels like failure.

You are trained to anticipate needs, fill gaps, keep things moving.

But in conversation, silence is often the most powerful seasoning.

A pause shows composure. It lets your words land. It gives the other person a moment to think.

Confident speakers are not afraid of that space.

If you catch yourself rambling, stop mid-sentence the moment you become aware of it.

It might feel strange at first, but it builds the kind of restraint people associate with confidence.

2) Overexplaining everything

Ever notice how the least confident speakers justify every single thing they say?

“I am not sure if this makes sense but…”

“This might be wrong but…”

“Sorry, just to clarify, what I meant was…”

Overexplaining tells people you do not trust your own words.

There is a psychological concept called self-handicapping, where you soften your stance to protect yourself from judgment.

I see this constantly in people who know exactly what they are talking about but do not believe they know exactly what they are talking about.

When you strip away the unnecessary justifications, your ideas become cleaner and more direct.

And most explanations you think people need are not actually needed.

Listeners understand more than you assume.

Give them credit.

Say what you mean once and let it stand.

3) Speaking too fast

I blame caffeine for this one.

When I get excited about a topic, especially food, I tend to speak faster than I should.

My brain sprints and my mouth tries to keep up.

But here is what speaking quickly communicates.

I want to get this over with.

I do not want you to interrupt me.

I am trying to get out of the spotlight.

Fast speech is not always a confidence issue.

Sometimes you are just passionate.

But too much speed can water down your message.

People miss details. Emotion gets lost. Listeners feel rushed.

Slowing down by even a small amount changes the entire tone of your delivery.

It sends a subtle message. I am not in a hurry. I belong here. This matters.

4) Using weak, filler heavy language

If words were ingredients, filler words would be the pre-shredded cheese of communication.

Fine in a pinch, not ideal if you want quality.

We all use fillers. Words like “um”, “like”, and “you know” slip in when our brain takes a micro-vacation.

I still catch myself using them, especially on tired days.

But a high volume of fillers makes you sound unsure and unfocused. It takes the shine away from your ideas.

One trick I learned from a chef who ran his kitchen with military precision was to replace fillers with intentional pauses.

It instantly cleans up your speech and makes you sound more grounded.

Try recording yourself for one minute speaking about your weekend.

You might be shocked by how many fillers you use.

Awareness is the first step.

Precision grows from there.

5) Avoiding eye contact

Eye contact is one of the quickest ways to create trust.

It is also one of the first things people abandon when nerves kick in.

A lot of us grew up seeing eye contact as confrontational or overly intense.

And in some cultures or environments, that can be true.

But in most conversations, avoiding eye contact can make you appear unsure or disengaged.

You do not need to maintain constant eye contact.

Think of it like seasoning food.

Enough to create flavor, not so much that it overwhelms.

A simple trick that has worked for me is this.

Look at the person when you start your sentence.

Look away naturally as you think.

Return to them as you end your point.

It feels natural and confident without being forced.

6) Apologizing when you did nothing wrong

“Sorry, quick question.”

“Sorry, can I add something?”

“Sorry, I just wanted to say…”

Unnecessary apologizing is one of the biggest confidence leaks.

There is research showing that some people apologize more not because they did something wrong but because they have a lower threshold for what counts as wrong.

But this habit is not limited to any one group.

Many of us over-apologize out of politeness conditioning.

The problem is that apologizing when you do not need to weakens your message before you even deliver it.

Instead of “Sorry, can I add something?” try:

“I want to add something.”
or
“I have a thought on that.”

You can still be polite without being apologetic.

Confidence and respect can coexist beautifully.

7) Ending sentences like questions

This one is incredibly common.

When you end a statement with an upward inflection, it sounds like you are asking a question even when you are not.

It is called upspeak and it often shows up in people who want to seem agreeable or non threatening.

But upspeak can make you sound unsure of your own ideas.

Instead of:

“I think the best option is the early tasting menu?”

Try:

“I think the best option is the early tasting menu.”

Same sentence. Completely different impact.

I struggled with this a lot when presenting ideas early in my career.

My voice would rise at the end as if I was waiting for permission.

When I trained myself to end my statements on a downward tone, people responded differently.

It was a noticeable shift.

8) Letting the fear of judgment shape how you speak

And finally, the habit underneath almost every other habit.

Most people do not speak confidently because they are afraid of being judged.

They worry about sounding odd, stumbling over their words, being misunderstood, or not coming across as smart enough.

I have been there.

I still land there sometimes.

But here is something I learned both in kitchens and in life.

Everyone is too busy thinking about themselves to analyze you as deeply as you imagine.

This realization is incredibly freeing.

When you stop shaping your words to avoid judgment, you begin speaking from a more grounded place.

You stop shrinking your ideas.

And ironically, that is when people start respecting your voice more.

Confidence is not the absence of nervousness.

It is the decision to speak anyway.

The bottom line

Confident communication is not about becoming a perfect speaker or eliminating every trace of nerves.

It is about removing the habits that dilute your message.

When you stop rambling, stop apologizing needlessly, stop rushing your words, and stop filling silence with fluff, you uncover the voice that people want to hear.

Communication becomes clearer, calmer, and more intentional.

Strong speaking is not about perfection. It is about presence.

The more you practice letting go of the habits that weaken your message, the more powerful and natural your voice becomes.