Being comfortable doing things alone isn’t about isolation. It’s about discovering the quiet strength that shows up when no one else is around.
There’s a quiet kind of strength that rarely gets talked about.
It doesn’t show up on résumé bullet points or Instagram stories.
It’s the strength you build when no one’s watching, when you choose to step into your own company with intention rather than avoidance.
Over the years, both through travel and through digging into behavioral science research, I’ve noticed a pattern.
People who are genuinely grounded tend to be surprisingly comfortable doing certain things on their own.
Here are eight of those things.
1) Spending time in silence
When was the last time you sat in complete silence without reaching for your phone?
Most people avoid silence because it forces them to hear their own thoughts.
And if we’re being honest, our inner world can feel louder than any outside noise.
But if you’re able to sit in silence without getting restless, it says something huge about your mental resilience.
You’ve built the kind of internal stability that doesn’t rely on constant stimulation.
On long photo walks, I sometimes catch myself enjoying the quiet more than the pictures I’m taking.
It’s a small reminder that inner calm isn’t something you stumble into.
It’s something you earn by learning not to fear your thoughts.
Comfort with silence is comfort with yourself.
And that’s rare.
2) Eating out by yourself
A lot of people think eating out alone is sad.
But here’s the truth: it’s only sad if you need other people around to feel okay.
Choosing to sit in a restaurant solo takes a level of confidence that doesn’t get enough credit.
You’re essentially saying, “I’m not performing for anyone. I’m just here to enjoy my food.”
Whenever I’m out shooting photos, I’ll often stop for lunch on my own.
I used to feel self-conscious about it in my twenties.
Now it feels like a small luxury.
You get to taste your meal without conversation filler, without social expectations, without being “on.”
If you can dine alone and genuinely enjoy it, you’re operating from self-assurance rather than insecurity.
3) Traveling on your own
Traveling alone is the ultimate test of how you handle uncertainty.
When you’re in a new city without someone to lean on, every choice is yours.
What do you eat?
How do you get around?
What do you do when you take the wrong bus and end up somewhere completely unexpected? (Happened to me outside Osaka once, and honestly, it became my favorite memory of that trip.)
Solo travel forces you to rely on your reasoning, problem-solving, and instincts.
It also teaches you the difference between real fear and imagined fear.
People who travel alone aren’t fearless.
They just trust their ability to adapt.
And that trust is a form of strength most people never develop because they never give themselves the chance.
4) Going to events where you don’t know anyone
Walking into a room full of strangers takes guts that people underestimate.
Most of us cling to familiarity because it protects our ego.
We don't want to be judged, or overlooked, or stuck in an awkward conversation we can’t gracefully escape.
But when you willingly show up somewhere alone, you’re demonstrating social self-reliance.
You’re saying, “I can handle being the outsider for a minute.”
That’s powerful.
I’ve mentioned this before in another post, but some of the best connections I’ve made happened because I walked into an event with zero safety nets.
When you move without a built-in audience, you meet people from a place of authenticity rather than performance.
Going alone means you’re not afraid of being seen exactly as you are.
5) Making big decisions without polling everyone you know
Think about how many people crowdsource their lives.
Should I quit my job?
Should I end this relationship?
Should I move?
Should I try something new?
There’s nothing wrong with asking for advice, but relying on it?
That’s where people get stuck.
If you’re comfortable making major decisions alone, you’ve built trust in your internal compass.
You’re willing to be responsible for the outcome instead of outsourcing the emotional risk.
Behavioral science backs this up.
Studies show that people who depend heavily on outside opinions are more likely to regret their decisions because they never fully “owned” them.
People who decide for themselves understand this:
Clarity doesn’t come from consensus.
It comes from self-honesty.
6) Enjoying hobbies without needing validation
One of the most freeing things you can do is enjoy something just because it brings you joy.
No audience.
No metrics.
No performance.
Mental toughness shows up in the way you allow yourself to be absorbed in something without needing anyone to witness it.
Photography taught me this.
I used to share every shot.
Now half my favorite photos never make it anywhere.
They live in a folder that’s just for me.
And it feels good to not turn every hobby into content.
If you can enjoy your passions privately, you’re stronger than you think.
You’ve stepped outside the validation loop most people don’t even realize they’re trapped in.
7) Facing uncomfortable emotions without distraction
This one is big.
If you can sit with sadness, anger, disappointment, or loneliness without immediately reaching for a distraction, you’re building emotional muscle.
Most people cope through avoidance.
They scroll, snack, shop, drink, or stay busy.
Anything to avoid feeling what’s actually happening inside.
But confronting your emotions head-on is a sign of enormous resilience.
Journaling helps with this, and so does meditation, but the real practice is just being willing to feel discomfort without numbing it.
When you can process your emotions instead of running from them, you become someone life can’t easily shake.
8) Standing up for yourself without needing backup
There’s a specific kind of strength that appears when you advocate for yourself.
Not aggressively.
Not dramatically.
Just clearly and calmly.
It might be setting a boundary.
It might be saying “no” when everyone expects a yes.
It might be pushing back against something unfair.
If you can do this alone, without needing someone to validate your stance or stand behind you, you’re operating from deep internal stability.
Boundaries are easier with witnesses. Harder when it’s just you and the other person.
That’s why doing it alone is such a strong indicator of mental toughness.
You’re signaling to yourself, “My voice matters, even if I’m the only one using it.”
The bottom line
Being comfortable doing things alone isn’t about isolation.
It’s about self-governance.
It’s about knowing you can handle your inner world, navigate uncertainty, make decisions you believe in, and stand behind yourself even when no one else is around.
If you resonate with several of these, you’re likely stronger than you give yourself credit for.
And if you don’t yet, the good news is that all of these forms of strength are learnable.
One quiet, courageous step at a time.
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