7 things successful people let go of that average people cling to desperately

Crafting a life you are proud of is not just about adding good habits.

It is also about releasing the things that weigh you down, the beliefs and behaviors that quietly drain your energy and limit your chances of becoming who you want to be.

Over the years, through writing, traveling, and plenty of trial and error, I have noticed something interesting. Successful people are not just doing more.

They are carrying less. They move differently because they are not dragging around the mental clutter the rest of us cling to out of fear, habit, or comfort.

Here are seven things I have watched successful people let go of that average people hold onto like their life depends on it.

Let us get into it.

1) The need for constant approval

I am starting with the one that probably trips most people up.

Growing up in an era where likes, views, and comments became a strange social currency, it is no surprise that a lot of folks become addicted to approval.

It feels good. It gives you a hit of certainty. It tells you that you are on the right path.

But successful people do not build their identity on other people’s reactions.

I have mentioned this before but letting go of the need to please everyone is one of the biggest psychological unlocks you can give yourself.

When you stop asking what other people will think, you finally start asking what you think.

I have seen this in my own life whenever I have posted something slightly opinionated or published a piece of writing that did not fit neatly into the mainstream.

The moment I stopped worrying about landing perfectly, I started producing work that felt more honest and more impactful.

Constant approval is a cage disguised as comfort. Once you stop chasing it, you create space to pursue what actually matters.

2) The illusion of control

Here is a question I have been asking myself more lately. What am I trying to control that is not mine to control?

If you have ever found yourself obsessing over how someone responded to your message, replaying a conversation you wish you handled differently, or stressing about a future that has not happened yet, you are not alone.

But successful people do not waste energy on what they cannot influence. They focus their attention on what is in front of them
their skills, their mindset, their effort, their daily actions.

I remember hiking through Nepal years ago and being hit with a very simple truth while watching the weather shift every ten minutes.

You cannot control the mountain. You can only control how prepared you are and how you respond.

Average people try to micromanage life. Successful people adapt to it.

Letting go of the illusion of control frees up emotional bandwidth you did not even realize was being drained.

3) The habit of comparing themselves to others

Comparison is sneaky because it feels productive. You think you are gathering data or getting motivated or seeing what is possible.

But most of the time, you are just stressing yourself out.

Successful people do not waste hours staring at someone else’s timeline, income, body, relationship, or career path. They know comparison is basically self sabotage disguised as research.

A few years back, during a creative rut, I found myself scrolling through photographers on Instagram who were way better than me. Instead of inspiring me, it made me want to put down my camera completely.

Then a friend reminded me that I was comparing my practice to their highlight reel.

That line stuck. The more you compare, the more you lose sight of your own progress. And without progress, nothing meaningful happens.

Let go of comparison. Replace it with curiosity, consistency, and self respect.

4) The fear of looking foolish

Successful people understand something average people do not. Growth is messy.

It often requires you to try new things, fail publicly, ask questions you think you should already know the answers to, and look like a beginner long after adulthood has trained you to avoid embarrassment at all costs.

I used to play in a band, and every time we released a new track, we had no idea whether people would vibe with it or roast it.

And honestly, sometimes both happened. But if we had waited until we were guaranteed applause, we never would have released anything.

People who succeed long term stop treating embarrassment like a threat. They treat it as a signal that they are stretching themselves.

The fear of looking foolish keeps average people stuck where they are. Letting go of that fear opens space for trying, learning, and leveling up.

5) Old identities that no longer fit

One of the most underrated parts of success is reinvention.

A lot of people cling to identities they outgrew years ago. The reliable one, the funny one, the shy one, the broke one, the person who is bad with money, the messy one, the one who always picks the wrong partner.

Successful people do not trap themselves in outdated stories. They update the software.

They are not afraid to say that a former version of themselves served a purpose but is not who they choose to be anymore.

When I shifted from music blogging into writing about psychology and decision making, a few friends joked that I was changing lanes.

They were right. I was. Because staying in the same lane when it no longer matches your direction is not loyalty. It is self limiting.

Your identity should evolve as you evolve. Holding onto an old one just because it is familiar keeps you anchored to a life you have already outgrown.

6) The need to be right

Have you noticed how average people will ruin their mood, their day, or even a relationship just to win an argument?

Meanwhile, successful people do not treat being right as a trophy. They treat learning as the actual reward.

They ask questions. They listen. They adapt. They change their mind when better information comes along. They do not get defensive every time someone challenges them.

It is not about ego. It is about growth.

One thing veganism has taught me is that most people cling tightly to their beliefs because admitting they are wrong feels like losing control or credibility.

But people who want to improve themselves are comfortable with revising their beliefs.

Being right is a trap. Being teachable is a strategy.

If you can let go of the need to be right, you gain an advantage. You become smarter, kinder, and more adaptable without burning bridges.

7) The fantasy of the perfect moment

This one hits close to home because I used to be the king of starting later.

I will start when things calm down. I will start when I have more time. I will start when I feel ready.

Spoiler. You never feel ready.

Successful people understand that perfect conditions rarely appear. So they start messy. They start early. They start before they are confident. They start before they have everything figured out.

And that momentum carries them farther than waiting ever could.

Every major turning point in my life began before I felt fully prepared. From switching careers, to going vegan, to picking up photography, to starting new writing projects.

Average people wait for permission. Successful people give themselves permission.

Letting go of the fantasy of perfect timing might be the most powerful shift on this list.

The bottom line

Success has just as much to do with what you release as what you chase.

If you can loosen your grip on these things - the need for approval, the illusion of control, comparison, fear of embarrassment, outdated identities, the need to be right, and the fantasy of perfect timing - your path opens up in ways you did not expect.

You become lighter. More intentional. More aligned with the life you are actually trying to build.

And that is where real momentum begins.