Psychology says people who watch videos without headphones in public often lack these 7 basic qualities

I was on a train last week when someone sat down across from me and started watching TikTok videos at full volume.

No headphones. No attempt to lower the sound. Just loud videos blaring in a quiet carriage where people were trying to read, work, or rest.

And I thought about what makes someone do that. What's missing in their awareness or consideration that allows them to think this is acceptable behavior?

Because here's the thing. Most of us know it's rude. We use headphones or keep our phones silent in public spaces.

But there's a subset of people who just don't seem to get it or don't care.

And research on social behavior suggests this isn't just about rudeness. It points to specific qualities these people often lack.

1. Self-awareness

The first and most obvious missing quality is basic self-awareness.

People who watch videos without headphones in public often don't recognize how their behavior affects others. They're not conscious of the noise they're creating or how intrusive it is.

Research on social cognition shows that self-awareness, particularly social self-awareness, develops through attention to how others perceive and respond to us.

People lacking this quality often don't notice the annoyed glances, the people moving seats, the tension in the space their noise creates.

I've watched this play out countless times. Someone playing music or videos loudly, completely oblivious to everyone around them looking uncomfortable.

When you point it out, they're often genuinely surprised that anyone minds. They weren't being malicious. They literally didn't register their impact on others.

That level of obliviousness suggests a fundamental lack of self-awareness about how one exists in shared spaces.

2. Empathy

Closely related to self-awareness is empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

When you can put yourself in someone else's position, you naturally think "would I want to hear someone else's videos if I was trying to concentrate or relax?"

People who lack empathy don't make this connection. They're focused entirely on their own wants and needs in the moment.

I had a colleague who did this constantly in our shared office space. When I finally asked him to use headphones, he seemed confused.

He wasn't trying to be inconsiderate. He genuinely hadn't thought about how his actions affected the rest of us.

That's a failure of empathy. An inability or unwillingness to consider other people's experiences and preferences.

3. Impulse control

Some people who watch videos without headphones do recognize it might bother others, but they do it anyway because they want to watch something right now.

This is about impulse control, the ability to delay gratification or modify your immediate desires based on the situation.

They want to watch a video. They don't have headphones readily available. Rather than wait until they do or until they're in a private space, they just play it anyway.

It's the same mentality as people who talk loudly on phones in quiet spaces or eat strongly-scented food on crowded public transport.

The immediate desire overrides any consideration for the situation or other people.

My neighbor's teenage son does this. He wants to watch something, so he just does, regardless of where he is or who's around.

His mother is constantly reminding him to use headphones, but in the moment, his impulse to watch something wins out over the learned social rule.

4. Social awareness

Beyond self-awareness, there's social awareness, understanding unwritten social rules and norms of different environments.

Most public spaces have implicit expectations. Libraries are quiet. Buses and trains are relatively peaceful. Waiting rooms are calm.

People with good social awareness adapt their behavior to match the environment. They understand context.

People watching videos without headphones often lack this contextual awareness. They don't differentiate between being in their own living room and being on public transport.

I've seen people do this in doctor's waiting rooms, on planes, in cafes, at parks. Places where the social norm is to be considerate of the shared space.

Studies on social norms show that some people genuinely don't pick up on these unwritten rules, while others are aware but choose to ignore them.

Either way, it demonstrates a lack of social awareness that affects their ability to navigate shared spaces appropriately.

5. Respect for others

This is a fundamental quality that underpins all the others.

When you respect other people, you consider their needs and comfort alongside your own. You recognize that shared spaces require shared responsibility for maintaining a pleasant environment.

People who watch videos without headphones often lack this basic respect. Not necessarily for any malicious reason, but because they haven't internalized the idea that other people's comfort matters.

They're operating from a purely self-centered perspective where their desire to watch a video takes precedence over everyone else's desire for peace.

I watched someone do this on a long flight once. Despite multiple polite requests from fellow passengers and eventually the flight attendant, they kept the volume up.

It wasn't that they couldn't hear the requests. They just didn't think they should have to comply.

That's a profound lack of respect for others' rights to a reasonable environment.

6. Situational awareness

Some people who do this aren't completely oblivious or disrespectful. They just have poor situational awareness.

They don't assess their environment before acting. They don't notice that they're in a crowded, quiet space versus an open, noisy one.

They might use headphones at home or in their office but forget to put them on when they're out. Or they don't register that the situation has changed and their behavior should adapt.

My uncle does this. He'll start watching videos on his phone during family dinners, completely missing that we're in the middle of a conversation.

He's not trying to be rude. He's just not paying attention to the context of where he is and what's happening around him.

Research on attentional awareness suggests that some people are naturally less aware of their surroundings, making them more likely to behave inappropriately in different contexts.

7. Personal responsibility

Finally, there's the quality of personal responsibility, taking ownership of how your actions affect others.

When someone points out that watching videos without headphones is bothering people, how do they respond?

People with personal responsibility apologize and either stop or get headphones. They recognize they made a mistake and correct it.

People lacking this quality get defensive. They make excuses. They blame others for being too sensitive or act like they're being unfairly targeted.

I've had people react angrily when asked to use headphones, as if the request itself was offensive. As if they're being persecuted for simply living their life.

That defensive response shows a lack of personal responsibility. An inability to acknowledge when your behavior is inappropriate and adjust accordingly.

Taking responsibility means recognizing that even if you didn't mean to cause a problem, you still did, and it's on you to fix it.

Final thoughts

I want to be clear about something.

Everyone has moments of being unaware or inconsiderate. We all occasionally do things that annoy others without meaning to.

But there's a difference between an occasional lapse and a pattern of behavior.

People who regularly watch videos without headphones in public spaces often exhibit multiple gaps in these basic qualities. It's not just one failing. It's a combination of lacking self-awareness, empathy, impulse control, and respect for others.

And the challenging thing is, you often can't tell someone they're missing these qualities without them becoming defensive.

Because part of lacking self-awareness is not recognizing when you lack self-awareness.

But if you've ever found yourself watching videos without headphones in public, this might be worth reflecting on.

Are you aware of how your actions affect others? Can you put yourself in their position? Do you have the impulse control to wait for a more appropriate time and place? Do you respect that shared spaces require shared consideration?

These aren't just about being polite. They're fundamental qualities that affect how we navigate the world with others.

And maybe, just maybe, investing in a cheap pair of headphones is easier than developing all these qualities from scratch.