The definition of being a good person hasn't changed as much as we think, but how we talk about it certainly has.
My parents are both teachers, part of that Baby Boomer generation born in the years after World War II. Growing up, they never explicitly talked about what made someone a good person. They just modeled it through actions and expectations.
Respect authority. Work hard. Keep your word. Take care of your family. Don't complain. These weren't discussed as values. They were simply how life worked.
The Baby Boomer generation grew up during post-war prosperity, economic growth, and clear social hierarchies. The values they were taught reflected that context and shaped how they raised their own kids, approached work, and defined success.
These nine things defined goodness in the world Boomers grew up in.
1) Respecting authority without question
Teachers, parents, police, bosses, elders. Authority figures were to be respected simply because they held positions of authority.
Boomers were taught not to question or challenge people in power. If your teacher said something, it was true. If your parent made a rule, you followed it. This wasn't about whether the authority figure was right. It was about maintaining social order.
My parents grew up in households where "because I said so" was a complete explanation. You did what you were told because that's what good people did.
This value has created massive generational friction. Younger generations were raised to question everything. Boomers often interpret this as disrespect.
2) Having a strong work ethic above all else
Work wasn't just something you did for money. It was a moral virtue, a measure of character.
Research shows that Baby Boomers are often described as the "workaholic generation," with strong work ethics instilled by parents who lived through economic hardship and valued determination above all else.
Loyalty to your employer was expected. You found a company, proved yourself, and stayed for decades. My parents both worked the same jobs for their entire careers.
The downside is obvious. Work-life balance wasn't a concept. Burnout was just called "having a job." But the social contract that rewarded lifelong loyalty no longer exists.
3) Keeping your word no matter what
Your word was your bond. If you said you'd do something, you did it. No excuses, no backing out.
Boomers were taught that circumstances didn't matter. If you committed, you honored that commitment even if it became inconvenient or difficult. Backing out was shameful.
I saw this growing up. My parents kept commitments even when it clearly made their lives harder. They'd show up to events they didn't want to attend, honor agreements that no longer made sense.
The positive aspect is reliability. The limitation is inflexibility. Life changes, circumstances shift. The ability to renegotiate commitments is actually a useful skill, not a moral failing.
4) Putting family obligations first
Family came before personal desires, career ambitions, or individual fulfillment.
Boomers were taught to prioritize family needs over their own wants. You took care of aging parents, helped struggling siblings, showed up for every family gathering.
My grandmother's Sunday roasts were never optional for my parents. Showing up was expected. Family obligation superseded personal preference.
The complexity is that family obligation could enforce unhealthy dynamics. You maintained relationships with difficult people because "they're family." Boundaries were seen as selfish.
Younger generations prioritize personal well-being over family obligation. Boomers often interpret this as abandonment.
5) Being self-sufficient and not asking for help
Good people didn't burden others. They figured things out on their own.
Boomers were raised to value independence. Asking for help was admitting weakness. You handled your problems privately without imposing on others.
The positive side is resilience and resourcefulness. The negative side is isolation and stubbornness. Refusing help when you need it isn't strength, it's pride.
During my Thailand years, I learned different cultural values around interdependence. Communities functioned through mutual support. Asking for help wasn't weakness, it was how society worked.
6) Maintaining a presentable appearance
How you presented yourself mattered. A lot.
Boomers were taught that looking neat and put-together was a sign of respect. Messy appearance suggested moral carelessness. You dressed up for church, for travel, for dinner out.
My parents still dress more formally than necessary for most occasions. Showing up looking sharp is a sign of taking things seriously.
The limitation is that this value judged people on superficial markers and enforced conformity. But there's something to the underlying idea that how you present yourself communicates values.
7) Never airing your problems publicly
Private matters stayed private. Good people didn't burden others with their struggles.
Boomers were taught that discussing personal problems publicly was inappropriate. Mental health struggles, financial problems, marital issues weren't discussed openly.
This value created enormous pressure to project success regardless of reality. It also prevented people from getting help they needed.
Social media has completely upended this norm. Younger generations share everything publicly. Boomers often view this as attention-seeking. But openly discussing struggles reduces stigma and creates support networks.
8) Showing loyalty to country and community
Patriotism wasn't optional. Good people loved their country, supported their community, and served when called.
Boomers grew up in the shadow of World War II. Their parents had sacrificed for national victory. That sense of duty was passed down.
Community involvement mattered too. You joined local organizations, volunteered for neighborhood projects. Being a good citizen meant active participation.
The challenge is that this value could enforce conformity and silence dissent. Criticizing your country was seen as betrayal, not patriotism.
9) Practicing restraint and delayed gratification
Good people didn't indulge themselves. They saved, waited, and worked toward long-term goals.
Boomers were taught to be frugal, to delay gratification, to prioritize future security over present pleasure. You saved for retirement, bought homes you could afford, didn't accumulate debt.
The positive aspect is financial responsibility. The limitation is that the economic context that made this possible no longer exists. Housing prices, education costs, wage stagnation mean delayed gratification often just means permanent delay.
Younger generations prioritize present quality of life. Boomers see this as short-sighted. But when the future feels uncertain, living in the present makes sense.
Final thoughts
These values aren't inherently good or bad. They're products of a specific time and context that no longer fully exists.
Some remain relevant. Hard work, keeping your word, taking care of family. Others, like unquestioning respect for authority or refusing help, have aged poorly.
The friction between generations comes from treating these values as universal rather than contextual. Boomers were raised with one framework. Their kids are navigating a completely different world.
My parents taught me valuable things through these values. Work ethic, reliability, family commitment. But I've also had to unlearn some of them. Questioning authority, asking for help, prioritizing well-being over obligation.
Understanding where these values came from doesn't mean accepting them uncritically. But it does create empathy. Boomers weren't trying to make life harder. They were passing down survival strategies that worked in their context.
Being a good person probably still means many of the things Boomers were taught. But it also means things they weren't taught. Flexibility, vulnerability, willingness to change. Those count too.
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