Boomers won't always say it directly, but they're noticing everything Gen Z does at the dinner table - and silently cataloging behaviors that would have been unthinkable when they were growing up.
Last Thanksgiving at my parents' house, I watched my nephew scroll through his phone while my grandmother tried to tell a story about her childhood.
She didn't say anything. Neither did anyone else. But I saw her face, and I knew exactly what she was thinking.
Boomers grew up with strict dinner table rules. You sat up straight, you didn't start eating until everyone was served, you engaged with conversation, and you certainly didn't have anything competing for your attention.
Those rules have largely dissolved, and Gen Z has developed dinner habits that would have gotten boomers grounded for a week. The older generation notices. They just don't always vocalize their judgment.
Here's what they're silently cataloging.
1) Having phones out during the meal
This is the big one. The behavior that drives boomers absolutely crazy, even when they don't say it.
For boomers, meals were sacred social time. You gave the people at the table your complete attention because that's what meals were for. Having something else competing for your focus was deeply disrespectful.
Gen Z treats phones as extensions of themselves. They're not consciously choosing the phone over the people present. The phone is just always there, always accessible, always part of the experience.
My grandmother would never say it directly, but I know watching my nephew text during dinner bothers her deeply. She interprets it as him not valuing her presence. He's not thinking about it at all.
The generational gap here is enormous. Boomers see phones at dinner as a choice to disengage. Gen Z sees them as a neutral presence that doesn't necessarily compete with conversation.
2) Not waiting for everyone to be served before eating
Boomers were taught that you wait. Everyone gets their food, everyone is seated, and then you all begin together. Starting early was rude.
Gen Z often starts eating when their food arrives. At restaurants, they'll dig in while others wait for their orders. At home, they'll begin as soon as their plate is filled.
This isn't conscious rudeness. It's just not a rule they were taught or one they consider important. Hot food should be eaten hot. Waiting seems pointless.
But boomers notice. They see it as a lack of consideration for the collective experience of the meal, a prioritizing of individual appetite over group ritual.
3) Photographing food before eating
The ritual of photographing meals before eating is completely normal to Gen Z and completely baffling to boomers.
Gen Z sees it as documenting life, sharing experiences, participating in food culture. It takes thirty seconds and doesn't seem like a big deal.
Boomers see it as performative nonsense that delays eating, prioritizes appearance over experience, and turns private moments into public content.
My parents watch people photograph food with barely concealed bewilderment. Why would you need a picture of your dinner? Who is this for? Why does everything need to be documented?
They don't understand the social media context where food photography is normal communication. They just see people delaying eating to take pictures of plates.
4) Eating while standing or walking around
Boomers were taught that meals happen seated at tables. You sit down, you eat, you stay seated until you're finished. Eating while walking around the kitchen or standing at the counter wasn't a meal, it was snacking.
Gen Z treats eating locations as flexible. They'll grab food and eat standing in the kitchen, walking to another room, or moving between activities. Sitting down for every meal seems unnecessarily formal.
This drives boomers crazy because it violates the basic structure of what a meal is supposed to be. Meals have locations. They have beginnings and endings. They're events, not background activities.
Gen Z sees eating as fuel that can happen anywhere. Boomers see meals as rituals that require proper setting.
5) Making substitutions and modifications to family recipes
When a boomer's mother made a dish a certain way, you ate it that way. Family recipes were handed down intact. Modifying them was almost disrespectful to the tradition.
Gen Z customizes everything. They'll ask for modifications at restaurants, adjust family recipes to their preferences, or opt out of dishes that don't fit their dietary choices.
I've watched this tension play out in my own family. My grandmother makes dishes she's made for fifty years. Younger family members ask for adjustments or bring alternatives, and while she accommodates graciously, I can tell it bothers her.
Boomers interpret modifications as rejection of tradition and their effort. Gen Z sees customization as normal personalization that doesn't carry emotional weight.
6) Leaving the table before everyone is finished
Boomers were taught that you stay at the table until the meal is over. Even if you're finished eating, you remain and participate in conversation until everyone is done.
Gen Z often leaves when they're personally finished. They'll clear their plate and drift off to another activity, not intending disrespect but not seeing a reason to sit at an empty plate.
This drives boomers crazy because it undermines the meal as a shared experience. The point isn't just eating, it's the time together. Leaving early signals that you have better things to do than be present with family.
Gen Z doesn't necessarily see it that way. They finished eating, so the eating part is done. They're not trying to escape, they just don't understand why physical presence at a cleared plate matters.
7) Having multiple dietary restrictions or preferences
Boomers grew up eating what was served. Vegetarianism was rare and often viewed as difficult or extreme. Veganism was almost unheard of. Gluten-free, dairy-free, and other dietary frameworks barely existed.
Gen Z has a much more complex relationship with food restrictions. They're more likely to be vegetarian, vegan, or follow specific dietary patterns. They have preferences and boundaries around food that require accommodation.
I've been vegan for eight years, so I've experienced this tension directly. My family is accommodating now, but I remember the early years when my dietary choices felt like an imposition on family meals.
Boomers often interpret Gen Z dietary restrictions as high-maintenance or attention-seeking. Gen Z sees them as personal choices that shouldn't require justification or cause inconvenience.
8) Not participating in food preparation or cleanup
Boomers grew up with clear expectations about contributing to meals. You helped set the table, you helped clean up, you participated in the work of feeding people.
Gen Z is often less automatically engaged with the labor side of meals. They'll show up, eat, and leave without instinctively jumping in to help with preparation or cleanup.
This isn't laziness necessarily. It's often just not having been taught those expectations or not recognizing the cues that help is needed or expected.
But boomers notice and judge. They see it as entitlement, as expecting to be served without contributing. They remember being expected to help and can't understand why younger generations don't have the same instincts.
Final thoughts
Most of these behaviors aren't intentional disrespect. Gen Z isn't trying to offend boomers at the dinner table. They're just operating with different assumptions about what meals are for and what behavior is normal.
Boomers see meals as structured social rituals with rules about attention, timing, and participation. Those rules existed because meals were one of the few daily opportunities for family connection.
Gen Z has constant connection through technology. Meals don't carry the same weight as the primary space for family interaction. So the rules feel arbitrary rather than meaningful.
Neither generation is entirely right or wrong. But the disconnect creates tension at family gatherings that often goes unspoken.
If you're Gen Z eating with boomers, understanding that they're silently judging these behaviors might help you navigate family meals more smoothly. You don't have to change everything, but awareness of the gap can prevent unnecessary conflict.
And if you're a boomer frustrated by Gen Z dinner behavior, recognizing that it's usually not intentional disrespect might help you judge a little less harshly.
The dinner table has always been a place where generational differences become visible. These eight behaviors are just the current version of a tension that's probably existed as long as families have shared meals.
If You Were a Healing Herb, Which Would You Be?
Each herb holds a unique kind of magic — soothing, awakening, grounding, or clarifying.
This 9-question quiz reveals the healing plant that mirrors your energy right now and what it says about your natural rhythm.
✨ Instant results. Deeply insightful.
