If you can’t remember the last time you were genuinely happy in life, say goodbye to these 7 habits

Happiness isn’t just something that “happens” to you. It’s often the result of the small, almost invisible choices you make every single day.
If you’ve been moving through life without that spark — waking up without excitement, feeling flat even in moments that should bring joy — it could be because certain habits are quietly draining you.

Let’s look at 7 of the biggest culprits. Let go of these, and you give yourself a real shot at experiencing happiness again.

1. Constantly comparing yourself to others

It’s easy to convince yourself you’re just being “motivated” by seeing what other people are doing. But constant comparison isn’t inspiration — it’s self-sabotage dressed up as ambition.

When you live in comparison mode, you’re not really measuring yourself against your own growth. You’re playing a game you can’t win, because there’s always someone with more money, better looks, or a more picture-perfect life on social media.

The result? You diminish the good in your own life. You become blind to your own progress.

If you want to be genuinely happy, measure your life by your own yardstick:

• Compare your present self to your past self.

• Track your own progress.

• Celebrate milestones that matter to you — not ones the internet tells you to value.

The truth is, you can’t be fully present for your own life if you’re busy living in someone else’s.

2. Waiting for the “perfect moment” to live

There’s a subtle habit many of us have: postponing happiness.
You tell yourself, “I’ll start enjoying life when…” — when you get the promotion, find a partner, move cities, lose weight.

This way of thinking turns life into a waiting room. You sit there, impatient, watching other people live, while convincing yourself your turn is coming “soon.”

Here’s the problem: perfect moments don’t actually exist. What you get instead are imperfect opportunities — and if you keep rejecting them because they don’t match your ideal script, you’ll look back one day and realize you skipped over the best years of your life.

Start with what you have now. That might mean planning the trip before your finances are “completely ready,” telling people you care about them today instead of “when the timing is better,” or saying yes to small joys without overthinking.

Life is happening now, not in some vague future.

3. Overthinking everything

Overthinking is like a thief in the night — except it doesn’t just take your peace of mind, it also steals your time, confidence, and opportunities.

When you replay past mistakes or obsessively predict how the future will unfold, you create a constant background hum of anxiety. You think you’re solving problems, but in reality, you’re just cycling through the same mental loop, burning energy without moving forward.

If this sounds familiar, I want to share something from my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How to Live with Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego.
One of the core principles I talk about is “right thought” — the Buddhist practice of guiding your mind toward clarity instead of chaos. That doesn’t mean ignoring problems. It means noticing when your thinking is no longer useful and gently returning to what you can actually influence.

Practical shifts that help:

• Set a time limit for decision-making.

• Get thoughts out of your head and onto paper.

• Replace “what if” with “what now.”

When you cut the habit of overthinking, you free up an incredible amount of mental space for joy to take root.

4. Saying yes when you mean no

We often say yes out of guilt, fear of rejection, or a desire to “keep the peace.” But every time you do that, you trade a little bit of your authenticity for temporary approval.

This habit is more damaging than it looks. Over time, you start to lose touch with what you actually want — because you’ve trained yourself to respond to what others expect. And when your life starts looking more like a to-do list of obligations than a reflection of your own values, resentment creeps in.

Breaking this habit starts small:

• Pause before agreeing to something.

• Ask yourself, “If I say yes, what am I saying no to?”

• Give yourself permission to disappoint people sometimes — it’s the only way to not disappoint yourself all the time.

Your happiness depends on how often your daily actions align with what you truly value. Protect that alignment fiercely.

5. Surrounding yourself with people who drain you

We like to think we can “tough it out” with negative people — that their moods or energy won’t rub off on us. But psychology (and common sense) says otherwise: we subconsciously absorb the attitudes and behaviors of those around us.

If you spend most of your time with people who criticize, complain, or compete with you, it’s like carrying an invisible weight every day. Even your happiest moments get filtered through their negativity.

This doesn’t mean cutting people out without compassion. But it does mean being intentional:

• Spend more time with those who lift you up.

• Create boundaries with those who constantly pull you down.

• Seek relationships where mutual respect and joy are the default, not the exception.

When your environment supports your happiness instead of eroding it, everything else becomes easier.

6. Numbing yourself instead of feeling

Many of us avoid uncomfortable emotions — sadness, loneliness, disappointment — by distracting ourselves. It could be binge-watching, scrolling endlessly, overworking, or even over-socializing. The short-term relief is real, but the long-term cost is emotional disconnection.

Here’s the paradox: when you numb the bad, you also numb the good. You can’t selectively mute emotions.

Happiness isn’t about avoiding discomfort — it’s about having the capacity to experience life fully, which includes the uncomfortable bits.

The next time you catch yourself reaching for an instant distraction, pause and ask:

• What am I feeling right now?

• Where do I notice it in my body?

• Can I stay with this feeling for just 60 seconds without trying to escape it?

Over time, this builds emotional resilience. And the more you’re able to be with your real emotions, the more authentic happiness you can feel.

7. Living life on autopilot

When was the last time you did something new?
Not a big life change, just something small — like taking a different route home, trying a new hobby, or saying yes to an invitation you’d normally decline.

Many people lose their spark because they stop engaging with life in a curious, intentional way. They fall into predictable routines, which become comfortable… and then quietly suffocating.

Living on autopilot is safe. But happiness isn’t born from safety — it’s born from growth, connection, and novelty.

To break this habit:

• Add one “micro-adventure” to your week.

• Challenge yourself to meet one new person each month.

• Switch up your routines in small but deliberate ways.

Happiness often hides in the unplanned and the unfamiliar.

Final thoughts

If you’ve been wondering why happiness feels like a distant memory, it’s worth asking yourself which of these habits might be holding you back. Letting go of them isn’t about creating a perfect life — it’s about removing the barriers that stop you from enjoying the life you already have.

In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How to Live with Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I dive deeper into the principles and practices that help you release these patterns and live with more presence. If you’re ready to stop waiting for happiness and start cultivating it, the journey begins with awareness — and the courage to change even one habit today.

Happiness may not be a constant state, but it’s something you can feel far more often than you think — once you stop doing the things that push it away.