After years of serving billionaires and organizing high-profile galas, I discovered that the wealthiest guests were almost always the most gracious, while those trying hardest to appear important were usually the ones snapping fingers at servers and making scenes over wine temperatures.
Ever watch someone snap their fingers at a server and feel your entire body cringe?
I spent my twenties working in fine dining restaurants and boutique hotels, serving everyone from tech CEOs to old-money families.
Here's what struck me most: The wealthiest, most sophisticated people I served were almost always the most gracious.
Meanwhile, the ones trying hardest to appear important? They were usually the ones making scenes over wine temperatures and treating staff like furniture.
After organizing high-profile dinners and charity galas for years, I learned to spot genuine class from across a crowded dining room.
It has nothing to do with knowing which fork goes where (though that helps) and everything to do with how you treat people when nobody's keeping score.
Whether you're grabbing tacos at a food truck or dining at a Michelin-starred establishment, truly classy people maintain certain standards because they understand that how we behave in restaurants reveals our character.
Here are eight things genuinely classy people never do in restaurants, no matter how casual the setting.
1) They never treat servers like servants
During my time serving ultra-wealthy families at high-end resorts, I noticed something fascinating.
The billionaire who'd built his empire from nothing? He'd learn every server's name and ask about their day.
The guy desperately trying to impress his date by being "important"? He'd bark orders without making eye contact.
Classy people understand that servers are professionals doing a job.
They say "please" and "thank you" like they mean it, make eye contact, and don't interrupt servers mid-sentence with demands.
Think about it: How you treat someone who can't do anything for your career or social status says everything about who you really are.
Trust me, everyone notices, your date notices, and other diners notice.
The entire staff definitely notices.
2) They don't make a spectacle of sending food back
Look, sometimes food arrives wrong.
It happens.
Your steak is overcooked, there's an ingredient you're allergic to, or the dish just isn't what you expected.
Classy people handle this quietly and directly.
They discreetly flag their server, explain the issue calmly, and accept the solution gracefully.
What they don't do is create dinner theater for the entire restaurant.
I once watched a guest at a charity gala I organized receive a completely wrong entree.
Instead of making a scene, she quietly mentioned it to the server, insisted it was no rush, and continued her conversation.
When the correct dish arrived, she thanked the server warmly.
That's class.
The need to publicly humiliate staff over honest mistakes? That's insecurity dressed up as standards.
3) They never fight over the check in public
We've all been there.
The check arrives and suddenly it's a wrestling match.
"No, I've got it!"
"Absolutely not, this is on me!"
Cards flying, voices rising, making everyone at the table uncomfortable.
Genuinely classy people sort this out beforehand or handle it so smoothly you barely notice.
They might quietly excuse themselves and pay at the host stand.
They establish who's treating before sitting down, or they simply say "thank you" when someone else insists on paying, then reciprocate next time.
The aggressive check-grab is performative, and real generosity doesn't need an audience.
4) They don't let their phones dominate the table
You're out to dinner and your phone buzzes, then buzzes again.
Before you know it, you're scrolling while your companion talks to the top of your head.
Working with high-profile clients taught me something crucial about presence.
The most successful people I served protected their meal times fiercely because they understood that sharing a meal with someone deserves full attention.
Sure, emergencies happen and kids need checking on, but constantly photographing every dish, taking calls at the table or treating dinner companions like background noise while you scroll is rude.
Classy people put their phones away.
They engage with the humans across from them.
5) They never complain about prices after ordering
Here's something that happened more than you'd think in fine dining: Someone orders the most expensive wine on the list, then loudly complains about the "ridiculous markup" when the check arrives.
If you think a restaurant is overpriced, don't eat there.
If you've already ordered, own your choice.
Classy people do their homework, check menus online, and make informed decisions.
They don't order the lobster then act shocked that it cost more than a burger.
I've served genuinely wealthy people who thought nothing of dropping thousands on dinner, and I've served people stretching their budget for a special occasion.
You know what separated the classy ones? They never made their financial decisions anyone else's problem.
6) They don't make excessive modifications to dishes
"I'll have the salmon, but grilled not seared, with the sauce from the chicken dish, substitute the vegetables from the vegetarian plate, and can you add the garnish from the beef special?"
Congratulations, you've just created a nightmare for the kitchen and announced to everyone that you think you're a better chef than the actual chef!
Dietary restrictions and allergies are one thing, and reconstructing the entire menu is another.
Classy people trust the chef's vision or choose restaurants that already serve food they enjoy.
They understand that excessive modifications slow down service for everyone and often result in disappointing dishes since kitchens are set up for specific preparations.
Want everything exactly your way? Cook at home.
7) They never leave without acknowledging their server
You've finished your meal, check's paid, time to leave, but your server is nowhere in sight.
What do you do?
Classy people make a point of saying goodbye and thank you, even if it means waiting a moment or finding their server on the way out.
They understand that this small gesture of acknowledgment matters.
During my hospitality days, the guests who stood out were the ones who treated every interaction as genuinely human.
A simple "Thank you for taking care of us tonight" goes further than you might think.
8) They don't gossip about other diners
Finally, classy people mind their own business.
They don't loudly comment on what others are wearing, eating, or discussing, or stare at celebrities or make scenes about who's at the next table.
Working high-profile events taught me that discretion is perhaps the ultimate marker of class.
The truly sophisticated understand that restaurants are shared spaces where everyone deserves to enjoy their meal in peace.
That couple arguing two tables over? Not your entertainment.
The person dining alone? Not sad or suspicious.
The family with loud kids? Probably doing their best.
Classy people focus on their own experience without judging everyone else's.
Final thoughts
After years in hospitality, I can tell you that genuine class is about treating every person with dignity, every situation with grace, and every meal as an opportunity to make someone's day a little better.
The truth is, restaurants are where our true selves come out.
When we're hungry, maybe a bit impatient, perhaps trying to impress someone, that's when our real character shows.
You don't need to have worked in hospitality to understand this.
Just pay attention next time you're out, and notice who makes the evening pleasant for everyone around them and who doesn't.
Then, ask yourself: Which one do you want to be?
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Adam Kelton
Adam Kelton is a writer and culinary professional with deep experience in luxury food and beverage. He began his career in fine-dining restaurants and boutique hotels, training under seasoned chefs and learning classical European technique, menu development, and service precision. He later managed small kitchen teams, coordinated wine programs, and designed seasonal tasting menus that balanced creativity with consistency.
After more than a decade in hospitality, Adam transitioned into private-chef work and food consulting. His clients have included executives, wellness retreats, and lifestyle brands looking to develop flavor-forward, plant-focused menus. He has also advised on recipe testing, product launches, and brand storytelling for food and beverage startups.
At VegOut, Adam brings this experience to his writing on personal development, entrepreneurship, relationships, and food culture. He connects lessons from the kitchen with principles of growth, discipline, and self-mastery.
Outside of work, Adam enjoys strength training, exploring food scenes around the world, and reading nonfiction about psychology, leadership, and creativity. He believes that excellence in cooking and in life comes from attention to detail, curiosity, and consistent practice.
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