From clinging to thinning lengths to avoiding the very layers that could transform their look, seasoned stylists reveal the well-intentioned but misguided choices they see their mature clients make daily in the salon chair.
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Last week, I sat in my hairdresser's chair, watching her work her magic while we chatted about everything and nothing.
She paused mid-snip, looked at me in the mirror, and said something that stuck with me: "You know what? You're one of my few clients over 60 who actually listens to my advice."
That got me thinking about all the conversations I've overheard in salons over the years, the gentle suggestions stylists make, and the stubborn habits we cling to like security blankets.
After that conversation, I couldn't help but dig deeper. I talked to several stylists, and what I discovered was fascinating. They all had similar stories about well-meaning decisions their mature clients make that actually work against them.
And here's the thing: I've been guilty of several of these myself.
1) Insisting on keeping length that's thinning and straggly
We associate long hair with youth, femininity, and vitality. I get it. But when our hair naturally thins with age (thank you, hormones), holding onto length can actually emphasize what we're trying to hide.
One stylist told me she often sees women desperately clinging to shoulder-length hair that's become wispy and sparse, when a shorter, fuller-looking cut would be infinitely more flattering.
The fear of looking "old" with short hair is real, but ironically, straggly long hair ages us more than a well-executed shorter style ever could. Think Helen Mirren or Judi Dench. These women radiate elegance and vitality with their shorter styles.
2) Going too dark with color
Remember when your hair was that rich, deep brunette or dramatic black?
The temptation to recreate our younger hair color is strong. But here's what stylists wish we understood: As our skin tone changes and softens with age, harsh dark colors can create an unflattering contrast that actually highlights wrinkles and makes us look washed out.
Several stylists mentioned this as their biggest frustration. They suggest going a shade or two lighter than what you remember your natural color being. The softer tones complement mature skin beautifully and create a more harmonious overall look.
3) Avoiding layers completely
"I want it all one length," is apparently a phrase that makes stylists internally groan. While we might think one-length hair is easier to manage, it often falls flat and shapeless, especially as our hair texture changes with age.
Subtle layers add movement, body, and dimension that can take years off our appearance.
The key word here is subtle. We're not talking about the aggressive layering of the 1980s, but rather strategic cuts that add life to hair without creating maintenance nightmares.
4) Over-processing with chemicals
Do you remember the perms of our youth? Some of us are still trying to recreate that volume with chemical treatments, but aging hair is more fragile.
One stylist shared that she regularly sees clients whose hair is breaking and damaged from too many chemical processes stacked on top of each other: Permanent waves, straightening treatments, and color all competing for the same fragile strands.
The solution isn't to avoid all chemical treatments, but to choose wisely and space them appropriately. Your stylist can help create a treatment schedule that maintains your desired look without compromising hair health.
5) Choosing styles that require high maintenance
Here's where my own vanity collided with reality. Just as I had to give up my beloved high heels when practicality demanded it, I've watched friends struggle with hairstyles that require daily hot tool styling, frequent salon visits, or complicated routines.
One friend admitted she spends 45 minutes every morning trying to recreate the smooth blowout her stylist achieves effortlessly.
Stylists consistently recommend choosing cuts that work with your natural texture and lifestyle. If you're not willing or able to style your hair daily, communicate that clearly. A good cut should look presentable with minimal effort.
6) Refusing to embrace gray strategically
This might surprise you, but stylists aren't necessarily pushing everyone to go gray. What frustrates them is the all-or-nothing approach many women take.
Some of us spend fortunes covering every strand of gray every three weeks, while others let it grow wild without any strategic shaping or toning.
There's a middle ground: Strategic highlighting, lowlighting, or partial gray coverage that creates a sophisticated, intentional look. Several stylists mentioned that the most stunning mature clients are those who work with their gray rather than against it.
7) Cutting bangs too short
Bangs can be wonderful for softening features and concealing forehead lines, but there's a tendency to cut them too short as we age. Perhaps we're compensating for thinning hair or trying to recreate a youthful look, but super-short bangs often have the opposite effect.
Stylists recommend slightly longer, softer bangs that can be swept to the side. They're more forgiving, more versatile, and generally more flattering to mature faces.
8) Ignoring the importance of good conditioning
Remember when we could skip conditioner and our hair still felt silky? Those days are long gone. Mature hair needs moisture desperately, yet many of us still treat conditioning as optional or use products designed for younger hair.
Every stylist I spoke with emphasized this point: Invest in quality conditioning treatments. Use leave-in products. Deep condition regularly. Your hair's texture and manageability will improve dramatically.
9) Sticking with the same style for decades
"But I've always worn my hair this way!" How many times have we said this? I'm reminded of Virginia Woolf's observation that "growing up is losing some illusions, in order to acquire others." Sometimes our longtime hairstyle is an illusion we need to release.
Stylists see clients who've had essentially the same haircut since 1985. While there's comfort in familiarity, our faces change, our lifestyle evolves, and fashion moves forward.
A subtle update doesn't mean abandoning everything you love about your look, but rather refining it to suit who you are now, not who you were at 35.
Final thoughts
The common thread through all these styling challenges isn't really about hair at all. It's about adaptation, acceptance, and the courage to evolve. Just as I learned to see clearly through my bifocals (wrinkles and all), perhaps we need to see our hair choices through a clearer lens too.
Your stylist isn't trying to make you look like someone else. They're trying to help you be the best version of your current self.
The next time you're in that salon chair, consider having an honest conversation about what's working and what could work better. You might be surprised by the possibilities that open up when you loosen your grip on old habits.
