From towering buffet plates to poolside picnics with gas station snacks, a luxury resort worker reveals the behaviors that turn well-meaning families into break room gossip – and why the truly wealthy never make these mistakes.
Look, I've spent over a decade working in luxury hospitality, and I've seen it all. From private jets landing at 3 AM to guests requesting their pillows be fluffed exactly seven times. But what really stuck with me weren't the outrageous demands from the ultra-wealthy – it was watching regular folks try to navigate a world that wasn't designed for them.
I remember this one family checking into the resort where I worked. They'd clearly saved for years for this trip. The dad kept taking photos of everything, the mom clutched her purse like someone might snatch it, and their teenage kids looked mortified every time their parents spoke to staff. By day three, they were the talk of the break room.
Not because we were cruel. But because certain behaviors just... stand out.
After spending years serving ultra-wealthy families at high-end resorts and then living in Thailand for three years to reset my own life, I learned something important: there's a difference between having money and understanding wealth culture. And nowhere is this gap more obvious than at luxury resorts.
1. They treat the buffet like it's their last meal
We get it. You paid a lot for this all-inclusive package. But loading three plates sky-high at the breakfast buffet and leaving half uneaten? That's what gets the dining staff whispering.
I watched this happen daily. Guests would pile on food like they were stockpiling for winter, then barely touch it. Meanwhile, the truly wealthy guests I served? They'd take small portions, go back if they wanted more, and rarely wasted anything.
The irony? The people who could afford to waste food never did. The ones stretching their budgets felt compelled to "get their money's worth" in the worst possible way.
2. They haggle with everyone about everything
This one made me cringe every single time. Watching guests try to negotiate spa prices, argue about minibar charges they clearly incurred, or attempt to bargain for room upgrades at check-in.
Luxury resorts don't work like street markets. The prices are the prices. The staff doesn't have the authority to cut deals, and asking puts them in an awkward position. I once saw a guest spend twenty minutes arguing over a $15 towel card fee while a line formed behind them.
You know what my ultra-wealthy clients did when they wanted something? They either paid for it without comment or politely asked if there were any available upgrades, accepting whatever answer they received.
3. They bring their own food and drinks everywhere
Picture this: a five-star pool area, elegant cabanas, attentive service, and then someone pulls out a grocery bag full of gas station snacks and warm beer. I've seen families set up entire picnics poolside with food from outside while other guests ordered from the menu.
Yes, resort prices are marked up. But sneaking in your own alcohol and eating packed sandwiches by the pool? That's what gets the pool attendants texting each other. It's like bringing McDonald's to a Michelin-starred restaurant.
4. They over-explain their presence
"We got such a good deal!" "My company paid for this!" "We used points!" "This is our first time at a place like this!"
Nobody asked. But within five minutes of arriving, these guests feel compelled to justify why they're there. It's uncomfortable for everyone, especially the staff who genuinely don't care how you paid for your stay.
The wealthy guests I served? They just showed up. No explanations, no justifications. They belonged there because they decided to be there. End of story.
5. They completely ignore or overtip with no middle ground
Working in hospitality taught me that there's an art to tipping appropriately. But I noticed lower middle class travelers either stuffed every single dollar back into their wallets or threw money around trying to prove something.
I watched a guest slip a bellhop $50 for bringing up one bag (excessive), then completely stiff the housekeeping staff who cleaned their destroyed room for a week (cruel). Meanwhile, another family avoided any service that might require tipping, carrying their own bags until they practically collapsed.
The ultra-wealthy families I served? Consistent, appropriate tips across the board. They understood the ecosystem.
6. They treat staff like either servants or best friends
There's a professional sweet spot in how you interact with resort staff, and many guests miss it entirely. They either bark orders like they're running a plantation or try to become everyone's buddy, asking personal questions and oversharing their life stories.
I remember one guest who insisted on knowing where I lived, if I was married, how much I made, and whether I enjoyed my job – all while I was trying to serve dinner. Another wouldn't make eye contact and literally snapped their fingers to get attention.
Wealthy guests? Polite, clear, respectful. They understood we were professionals doing a job, not their personal servants or therapists.
7. They complain about everything to get comps
"The ocean is too loud." "The sun is too bright." "The towels are too white." I've heard it all. Some guests arrive with a complaint strategy, finding fault with everything hoping to score free nights or upgrades.
Here's what they don't realize: we keep notes. Everything gets documented. That complaint about the "uncomfortable bed" after you spent all day posting Instagram stories about how amazing your room is? We know.
The families with real wealth rarely complained, and when they did, it was about genuinely fixable issues, addressed quietly with management.
8. They wear inappropriate clothes everywhere
Flip-flops in the fine dining restaurant. Swimsuits in the lobby bar. Tank tops at the evening jazz concert. I've seen men show up to formal dinners in basketball shorts and women wear bikinis to afternoon tea.
Every resort has a dress code for a reason. Ignoring it doesn't make you rebellious or down-to-earth. It just tells everyone you didn't read the information packet or don't care about the experience you're supposedly paying premium prices to enjoy.
9. They document everything for social media validation
Finally, the constant need to prove they're living the high life. Every meal photographed from twelve angles. Staged "candid" shots by the pool. Livestreaming from the spa.
I watched one family spend their entire beach dinner arranging and rearranging plates for the perfect shot while their food went cold. Another guest asked me to take literally forty photos of them on a daybed, directing me like I was their personal photographer.
You know who never did this? The actually wealthy guests. They lived their experiences instead of performing them.
Final thoughts
Working in luxury hospitality taught me that true wealth isn't about money – it's about understanding how to move through different spaces with confidence and grace. The ultra-wealthy families I served had nothing to prove. They didn't need to justify their presence, maximize every penny, or document their worth for others.
But here's what I learned during my time in Thailand, living simply and watching both tourists and locals navigate life: none of this really matters. The staff talking about guests after their shift? That's just human nature. We all do things that others find odd or amusing.
What matters is whether you enjoyed your vacation, whether you treated people with respect, and whether you created memories worth more than any Instagram post. If you can manage those three things, you're already wealthier than most people I've served.
