Think vegan is just salad? Hand skeptics these seven heavy hitters—smash-burger tofu, al pastor mushrooms, cacio-e-pepe vibes—and let their forks do the converting.
Some folks hear “vegan” and picture a sad lettuce leaf, shivering in a corner. Meanwhile I’m over here, double-fisting tacos and a milkshake so thick it could bench press your blender.
If you’ve ever said, “I could never go vegan,” cool—don’t.
Just eat these seven things first.
If your eyes don’t widen at least twice, I’ll buy you a salad… and smother it in chili crisp and toasted breadcrumbs until it begs to be called dinner.
Here’s the gateway menu:
1) Smash-burger-style tofu with sticky onions
Picture diner energy—crispy edges, juicy middle, onion confetti—minus the nap.
Press extra-firm tofu, slice it into thin slabs, then smash each piece in a hot pan with a spatula until it hisses. Season like you mean it: salt, pepper, smoked paprika. Top with a tangle of quickly charred onions and a swipe of burger sauce (ketchup + mustard + vegan mayo + diced pickle). Pile into a toasted bun with lettuce and tomato.
It’s crispy, savory, messy—in other words, not a salad.
Shortcut: Buy pre-pressed tofu or “super-firm” so you can skip the pressing step.
Extra credit: Add a slice of plant-based cheddar and let it melt while you toast the bun.
2) Al pastor–ish mushroom tacos with pineapple salsa
Take meaty oyster mushrooms, shred them with a fork, and marinate in achiote or a quick blend of chili powder, cumin, oregano, garlic, and orange juice. Roast until the edges go bark-level crispy. Tuck into warm corn tortillas with diced pineapple, onion, cilantro, and a lime squeeze.
The texture hits that chewy-crisp zone carnivores chase; the sweet-heat combo might make you emotional.
Street-cart trick: Char the tortillas right on the burner for 10 seconds/side.
If mushrooms scare you: Use jackfruit or crumbled tempeh; same marinade, same caramelized magic.
3) “Buttermilk” fried cauliflower with hot honey-lime
Hear me out. Soak small cauliflower florets in plant milk + a splash of vinegar (hello, faux buttermilk), dredge in seasoned flour (paprika, garlic powder, salt), and pan-fry or air-fry until shatteringly crisp. Drizzle with spicy maple-lime (chili flakes + maple + lime juice + pinch of salt).
The outside crackles, the inside is tender; your brain says, “Wing night,” and your fingers ask for more napkins.
Dip diplomacy: Stir hot sauce into vegan mayo with a squeeze of lemon.
Party move: Toss in buffalo sauce and serve with celery + herby vegan ranch.
4) Cacio e pepe’s plant-based cousin (no compromise, cross my fork)
Boil spaghetti in salty water (like-the-sea salty). In a skillet, toast a scandalous amount of black pepper in olive oil, whisk in a ladle of starchy pasta water, then add finely ground walnuts blitzed with nutritional yeast (your “cheese” paste) and a small knob of plant butter.
Toss in the pasta off heat, adding water as needed until it goes glossy and creamy. Peppery, silky, and indecently good.
Key is texture: Pulse the walnuts to a powder finer than sand.
Monday upgrade: Add lemon zest and a handful of arugula for a pepper-on-pepper duet.
5) Bulgogi-style tofu rice bowls with quick pickles
Thinly slice super-firm tofu and marinate it in soy sauce/tamari, grated pear (yes), garlic, ginger, and a whisper of sesame oil. Sear hard until caramelized and lacquered. Serve over hot rice with kimchi (there are vegan versions), cucumber quick pickles, scallions, and gochujang-mayo (or chili crisp if you’re me).
It’s sweet-salty-spicy, with all the theater of a sizzling plate and none of the food coma.
Pear swap: Use apple or a spoon of brown sugar if pears are shy.
Meal prep hero: Make double; the leftovers become lettuce wraps tomorrow.
6) Double chocolate tahini soft-serve (the blender miracle)
Frozen banana slices + cocoa powder + tahini + a splash of oat milk. Blend until it turns into soft-serve you’d swear came from a machine in a very chic café. Tahini brings grown-up richness, banana brings body, cocoa brings, well, chocolate. Top with toasted sesame seeds and cacao nibs if you want to feel like a dessert architect.
Not a banana person? Use frozen avocado and extra cocoa + maple to balance.
Company trick: Swirl in a ribbon of melted dark chocolate at the end for magic shell vibes.
7) Sheet-pan gnocchi with burst tomatoes and garlicky crumbs
Yes, the gnocchi goes on the sheet pan straight from the package—no boiling. Toss with cherry tomatoes, olive oil, salt, and pepper; roast at high heat until the gnocchi puff and the tomatoes collapse into jammy bliss.
Finish with a rain of pan-toasted breadcrumbs (pangrattato) tossed in garlic and lemon zest. It’s crispy-chewy-soft, saucy without a sauce. Italians call this “midweek sorcery.” (Okay, I do. But they’d agree.)
Add green: Throw in handfuls of spinach or torn kale for the last 3 minutes.
Fancy flourish: Dot with pesto (store-bought or basil + parsley blitzed with walnuts).
How to feed skeptics (and yourself) without a TED Talk
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Lead with texture. Crispy edges, char, chew—those are the “I could never” converters.
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Sauces doing the most: Chili crisp, chimichurri, peanut sauce, salsa verde, gochujang-mayo—pick two, keep them on deck, and watch your vegetables become extroverts.
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Season like a grown-up. Salt your pasta water, toast your spices, reduce your sauces until they cling, and finish with acid (lemon, vinegar) and a hit of fresh herbs.
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Plates, not proofs. Don’t explain veganism; serve dinner. People listen with their forks first.
And if someone still insists they “could never,” smile, hand them a taco, and let the mushroom do all the arguing. The strongest case for plants has always been pleasure.
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