Most people are not trying to be difficult, but a few innocent requests can make a server instantly brace for trouble.
Most people do not set out to be difficult when they eat at a restaurant.
They think they are being polite, specific, or careful about what they want.
But to a server who deals with dozens of guests a night, certain requests are instant red flags.
They signal extra work, delays, or potential complaints later on.
You might think you are being reasonable, but your server is probably giving a silent sigh behind that friendly smile.
Here are eight things you might ask for that quietly tell your server you are a high maintenance customer.
1. “Can you make it really hot?”
Asking for food to be “really hot” seems harmless, but it often leads to confusion in the kitchen.
Do you mean spicy hot or temperature hot?
Either way, the kitchen now has to give your plate special attention.
If it comes out too mild or not steaming enough, you are almost guaranteed to send it back.
To your server, this sounds like the beginning of a complaint waiting to happen.
2. “I’m allergic to gluten, dairy, soy, and onions”
Food allergies are serious, and good servers handle them carefully.
But when someone lists off a long list of restrictions without a doctor’s note, it can sound like preference disguised as medical necessity.
That means extra checks with the kitchen, more questions, and a longer ticket time.
True allergies are respected, but exaggerated ones make servers nervous because one mistake could lead to a bad review or a refund request.
Being honest about preferences instead of pretending it is medical earns you more respect.
3. “Can you make it just like last time?”
This seems like a compliment, but to a server it is vague and stressful.
The person taking your order might not have served you before, and the cook who prepared your meal last time might not even be working tonight.
Now the server has to guess what you meant while hoping you will not be disappointed.
If you loved something specific, describe it instead of relying on memory.
It makes everyone’s job easier and your meal more consistent.
4. “Can I get everything on the side?”
This request sounds organized but it adds layers of complexity to your order.
Each ingredient has to be separated, packaged, and tracked individually.
It slows down service and creates more chances for errors.
Servers do not hate the request itself, but when combined with other modifications it becomes a time sink.
If you need things on the side, keep it minimal and clear.
Otherwise, the kitchen sees your order ticket and immediately knows it will hold up the line.
5. “Can you split the check eight ways?”
Servers groan when they hear this one because it turns a simple transaction into math homework.
Splitting checks among large groups is time consuming, especially when people pay with multiple cards or want to divide appetizers unevenly.
Every adjustment delays the next table and increases the chance of mistakes.
If you want to split the bill, it helps to plan ahead or handle the math at the table.
Servers appreciate guests who make payment simple rather than complicated.
6. “This isn’t how it looked on TikTok”
Social media has changed how people dine out, and servers feel the pressure.
When someone complains that their meal does not match an influencer’s video, it immediately signals unrealistic expectations.
Restaurants are not studios, and dishes can vary from day to day.
To your server, that comment means they are dealing with someone who values presentation over experience.
It sets the tone for a difficult table because no real meal will ever match a filter.
7. “Can you make sure the chef uses fresh ingredients?”
This question might sound health conscious, but it reads as insulting.
You are implying the restaurant normally serves spoiled food.
Servers hear this and know they will have to reassure you about quality all night.
Most kitchens already use fresh produce and proteins within food safety standards.
When guests ask this, it suggests distrust before the first bite is even served.
8. “Can you tell the chef to make it exactly how I like it?”
Every chef and server has heard this, and it almost always means trouble.
It assumes the restaurant should know your personal preferences even if you have never been there before.
It also sends the message that you are hard to please and ready to criticize if things are slightly off.
Servers usually take extra care with your order, but they also mentally prepare for a potential complaint.
If you want something specific, describe it kindly and with details rather than commanding it.
The bigger picture
Dining out should be about enjoyment, not control.
Servers want to make your experience pleasant, but they also appreciate customers who trust them to do their jobs.
Most “difficult” tables are not mean spirited, just overly particular.
A few small changes in wording and tone can turn you from a high maintenance customer into a dream guest.
After all, kindness and patience get better service than any special request ever could.
If You Were a Healing Herb, Which Would You Be?
Each herb holds a unique kind of magic — soothing, awakening, grounding, or clarifying.
This 9-question quiz reveals the healing plant that mirrors your energy right now and what it says about your natural rhythm.
✨ Instant results. Deeply insightful.
