9 things Boomers wear to weddings that make their adult children cringe

Weddings are supposed to be joyful, emotional, beautifully chaotic celebrations. And honestly? They usually are.

But there is one wildcard that always keeps things interesting: what Boomers decide to wear.

I say this with love. I adore my parents' generation. They raised us, fed us, and tolerated our teenage phases. But when it comes to wedding attire, they sometimes march to the beat of a drum no one else can hear.

It is not that they mean to embarrass anyone. They just have their own internal style guide from 1986, and they are sticking to it.

Here are nine things Boomers wear to weddings that quietly or loudly make their adult children cringe.

1) The bulky smartphone belt holster

Let us start with the accessory that refuses to die.

Some Boomers genuinely believe weddings require the same equipment setup as a hiking expedition. That means the holster comes out, usually black leather and usually big enough to hold a satellite device.

Every time I see one at a wedding, I have the same thought: Are you expecting a call from NASA?

I get it. Accessibility and convenience matter. But when you are wearing a tailored suit and then clip a chunky phone case to your hip, it becomes the instant focal point. And not in the flattering way.

To their kids, it sends the message that Dad is ready to troubleshoot the Wi Fi in the reception hall.

2) Chunky orthopedic sneakers with formalwear

This one hurts because comfort is important. I respect arch support. I have worked enough double shifts to appreciate a shoe that protects your spine.

But there is a time and place for the big white orthopedic sneakers, and aisle seats at a wedding are not it.

Boomers defend these shoes with surprising conviction. Meanwhile, their adult children are silently begging them to try a pair of loafers or anything that does not resemble footwear recommended by a podiatrist.

They think no one notices. Oh, we notice.

3) Loud, tropical patterned shirts

I love a fun print. Patterns can be great. They can add personality.

But when Uncle Rob strolls into a wedding looking like he is about to headline a tribute cruise, the vibe shifts instantly.

Adult children everywhere are praying that today is not the day the hibiscus shirt makes an appearance.

There is always one Boomer who insists it is their nicest shirt. And technically, that might even be true. But weddings usually call for something a little less vacation scenery.

4) The oversized suit from another era

You know the one. Heavy shoulder pads, sleeves that swallow the hands, and a fit that says the suit was purchased two careers ago.

It is amazing how many Boomers refuse to tailor their clothes. I once heard a man say, It fits fine, while half his jacket floated behind him like a parachute.

Meanwhile, their kids are standing beside them in modern cuts wondering how to gently explain that fabric should not billow.

Tailoring is not about vanity. It is about respect for the event. Also, it makes an immediate difference in appearance.

But Boomers grew up in a buy once and keep forever era. They are dedicated to that philosophy, even when the fit no longer cooperates.

5) White outfits that compete with the bride

This one surprises me every time because the rule is so basic. Do not wear white to a wedding unless the couple specifically approves it.

Yet some Boomers breeze right past that rule as if it is a suggestion printed on a restaurant napkin.

It is almost never intentional. Usually it is someone who truly believes their cream lace dress is completely different from bridal white. Or a dad who thinks his ivory blazer is simply summer stylish.

Meanwhile, their adult children are watching the bride’s expression the way you watch a pot about to boil over.

This makes everyone cringe because it is not just a style misstep. It is a cultural boundary. And watching your parent tiptoe across it is nerve wracking.

6) Giant hats that block everyone’s view

Hats can be elegant. I have seen some that would earn compliments at royal events.

But then there are the others. The hats so wide you wonder if they need their own seat at the reception.

Boomers adore these because they feel festive. They feel dressy. They feel appropriate for a celebration.

Their adult children, on the other hand, are whispering that Mom is blocking the view of half the ceremony.

It is hard to enjoy heartfelt vows when a small solar panel shaped hat is positioned directly in front of you.

7) The novelty tie

Weddings are not the place to debut a tie covered in fishing lures or cartoon characters. Yet there is always one Boomer who decides this is his moment to inject whimsy into the proceedings.

It is almost cute. Almost.

The novelty tie is usually a relic from the 90s, pulled from deep storage and dusted off for a special occasion. And technically, weddings qualify as special occasions. Just not for this tie.

Adult children cringe because a novelty tie instantly lowers the formality of the entire outfit. It is the visual equivalent of wearing sneakers with a tux.

8) Sunglasses worn indoors for way too long

Here is a universal one.

Boomers put on sunglasses for the outdoor photos. No problem there. But then they keep them on as they walk inside. And sometimes they keep them on far longer than seems reasonable.

There is something funny about sunglasses indoors. It sends the message that the wearer has emotionally checked out of the lighting situation altogether.

Every millennial I know has whispered the same line at some point: Dad, take off the sunglasses. Please. And the reply is always predictable. They are prescription.

Fair enough. Still confusing.

9) And finally, excessive perfume or cologne

This one comes from habit. Boomers grew up in the era of bold scent. A single spritz was considered timid. Entire wrists were coated. Collars were coated. Sometimes the air itself was coated.

At a wedding, that cloud of cologne enters five seconds before they do.

Their kids can smell them before they see them, and if you have ever sat beside someone wearing half a bottle of anything musky during a long ceremony, you know that it is memorable in the wrong way.

Overpowering fragrance does not just make adult children cringe. It makes an entire row slightly dizzy.

Boomers mean well. They were simply raised in the era where scent was a full personality trait.

The bottom line

Most of these cringe moments are harmless. Weddings are emotional, imperfect, very human celebrations. And honestly, the quirks Boomers bring often make the stories better later on.

Their fashion choices may not align with modern etiquette, but they come from a place of excitement and pride. They want to look good. They want to feel special. They want to be part of the moment.

And even if we cringe in real time, these are the moments we retell for years. Usually while laughing and occasionally while shaking our heads, but always with affection.

Because underneath the hibiscus shirts, the giant hats, the orthopedic sneakers, and the novelty ties, one truth stays the same.

They showed up. And that is what matters.