Most travelers mean well, but a few innocent phrases can instantly rub French people the wrong way. From saying “bonjour” at the wrong time to overdoing your “merci beaucoup,” it’s often not what you say, but how you say it. In this post, we unpack seven everyday expressions that quietly annoy the French—and reveal what they can teach us about respect, awareness, and the art of real connection.
If you’ve ever spent time in France or even just chatted with a French person abroad, you might’ve noticed something subtle.
You say something perfectly innocent, and suddenly, their expression shifts.
It’s not outrage. It’s that small, unmistakable look that says: “Ah, you’re one of those.”
The French are famously proud of their language and culture.
But what outsiders often miss is that their sensitivity isn’t about arrogance, it’s about respect.
There’s a rhythm to conversation in France, a kind of unspoken etiquette that shows you “get it.”
Here are seven everyday phrases that can make French people cringe, and what’s really going on underneath.
1) “Bonjour” said too late
You’d think saying bonjour would be foolproof. But in France, when you say it matters almost as much as saying it at all.
Walk into a bakery, head straight to the counter, and start with “une baguette, s’il vous plaît” before greeting the person?
You’ve already committed a cultural sin.
To the French, greeting is not transactional. It’s a ritual acknowledgment of mutual respect.
When you skip saying bonjour, it signals that you see the person as “just staff,” not a human being.
It’s why shopkeepers sometimes respond with chilly politeness. They’re not being rude, they’re restoring balance.
The trick is simple: make bonjour your first word when entering any store, café, or even an elevator.
Say it clearly, confidently, and with a smile.
Do that, and you’ll notice how quickly people warm up.
2) “Parlez-vous anglais?”
This one sounds harmless, right? But context is everything.
When you lead with “Parlez-vous anglais?” before even trying a word of French, it tells the listener that you’re assuming they’ll adapt to you.
In a country that deeply values linguistic identity, that assumption can sting.
I remember asking this question on my first trip to Paris years ago. The man behind the counter paused, sighed softly, and then answered, in perfect English: “Yes, but you could at least try first.”
He wasn’t wrong.
Even if your French is limited to “Bonjour, je ne parle pas bien français, mais j’essaie” (“I don’t speak French well, but I’m trying”), you’ll immediately earn goodwill.
It’s the effort that counts, not fluency.
To the French, language is culture. Showing respect for it is like showing respect for their entire worldview.
3) “Ça va?” when you don’t mean it
Here’s a subtle one that throws off many foreigners.
In English, “How are you?” is almost a formality. You say it, get a “good, you?” back, and move on.
In French, “Ça va ?” actually invites an answer. It’s small talk, but with emotional texture.
So when you toss out “Ça va ?” while walking away or without pausing for a reply, it can feel hollow, even fake.
The French tend to value authenticity in conversation. They’d rather you skip the question than use it mechanically.
Try this instead: when you say “Ça va ?”, pause. Make eye contact. Listen.
Even a quick “Oui, et toi ?” makes the exchange real.
This one small shift says you’re not just mimicking the words, you’re engaging like a local.
4) “Merci beaucoup!” in the wrong tone
It’s wild how much tone changes meaning in French.
“Merci beaucoup” literally means “thank you very much,” but when said with exaggerated enthusiasm or an overly American lilt, it can come off as sarcastic.
You might mean to sound grateful, but to French ears, it can sound like you’re performing politeness rather than expressing it.
When I first started traveling to France for work, I’d throw out “Merci beaucoup!” like a confetti cannon. One
Parisian colleague finally laughed and said, “You sound like you’re thanking someone for saving your life.”
Lesson learned.
In French, sincerity often lives in understatement.
A simple “Merci” with a soft tone and eye contact can communicate more genuine warmth than any exaggerated “thank you soooo much.”
5) “Je suis américain(e)” (or your nationality) said as an excuse
You’ll often hear travelers defend a social faux pas with “Sorry, I’m American,” or “Je suis anglais(e),” as if nationality explains the behavior.
But here’s the catch: the French don’t see cultural awareness as optional.
If you travel, you’re expected to adapt, at least a little.
So using your nationality as a get-out-of-jail-free card can sound lazy, even condescending.
When I once mispronounced a dish in a restaurant and apologized with “Je suis étranger,” the waiter smiled politely but said, “C’est une bonne raison d’apprendre, non ?”
(“That’s a good reason to learn, no?”)
It was a gentle reminder that effort matters more than origin.
You don’t need perfect manners or pronunciation, just curiosity and humility.
That’s the real passport to connection.
6) “That’s so French!”
If there’s one phrase guaranteed to make a French person’s eyebrow twitch, it’s this one.
It’s often said with affection, noticing a small cultural quirk, like a waiter ignoring you for ten minutes or someone arguing passionately over cheese.
But to the French, “That’s so French” can sound reductive.
It reduces a complex culture to a caricature, one defined by clichés rather than reality.
Imagine someone watching an American eating a burger and saying, “That’s so American!” You’d probably roll your eyes too.
Instead, try curiosity over commentary. Ask why things are done that way. There’s usually a reason, often historical or practical.
The French love discussing their culture; they just don’t love being summarized.
7) “Excuse my French”
This one’s ironic, and it annoys for reasons most people never think about.
The English phrase “Excuse my French” is used after swearing, but it has nothing to do with France.
Still, every time a French person hears it, it’s like their language is being used as shorthand for something rude.
You wouldn’t say “Excuse my Spanish” after dropping an F-bomb, right?
So imagine how strange it sounds to native French speakers when their language becomes the punchline.
It’s not that they’re offended; they’re just tired of the joke.
If you want to sound worldly, skip this one. Use your actual words, not a century-old idiom that accidentally insults a whole culture.
The bigger lesson
Learning about these tiny social landmines isn’t just about avoiding awkward moments at a Paris café. It’s about learning awareness.
French people aren’t uniquely sensitive. They’re simply attuned to context and respect, especially when it comes to language.
Their reactions teach something valuable about communication itself. Meaning isn’t just in words; it’s in timing, tone, and intention.
When you practice this kind of mindfulness abroad, you naturally start applying it at home. You notice how you talk to your barista.
How do you text your coworkers? How often do you listen instead of waiting to reply?
That’s what travel and cultural humility are really about.
It’s not collecting stamps in your passport.
It’s collecting ways to see the world with more empathy.
Because the truth is, we all have our own “bonjour moments,” those tiny, invisible boundaries that separate courtesy from carelessness.
And once you learn to spot them, life feels a lot more connected.
