8 things boomers still do out of pride that make younger generations quietly pity them

There’s a particular kind of pride that belongs to boomers, the sort that’s been shaped by survival, not ego.

They grew up in eras where you had to tough things out: where money was tight, jobs were scarce, and image meant everything. To them, pride wasn’t a flaw; it was dignity. It was how you stayed standing when life tried to knock you over.

But somewhere along the way, that same pride hardened. What once helped them survive now keeps them from softening, from letting others in, or letting life evolve.

Younger generations don’t necessarily judge boomers for this. Most of us grew up loving and learning from them. We admire their grit. But we also quietly pity how much unnecessary pain they still carry because of outdated beliefs about what it means to be strong.

Let’s look at eight of those things, the pride-fueled habits that make younger people sigh with both frustration and empathy.

1. Refusing help, even when they clearly need it

There’s a strange heroism boomers attach to “doing everything themselves.”

They’ll struggle to lift furniture, insist on fixing the leaking pipe alone, or spend half an hour yelling at the printer rather than letting someone help.

It’s not really about the task; it’s about what it represents. To them, needing help means losing control.

I remember watching my dad, sweating in the heat while trying to fix the ceiling fan. My brother offered to help, but Dad said, “I’ve been doing this since before you were born.” Ten minutes later, the fan blades flew off.

We laughed, but underneath that was sadness. That kind of pride isolates. It turns independence into loneliness.

Younger generations see collaboration as normal. We Google tutorials, call experts, share tasks. But boomers still equate self-reliance with worth.

The truth is, letting people help doesn’t make you weak; it builds trust. And for many of them, that’s the scariest part.

2. Glorifying overwork

If there’s one thing boomers romanticize, it’s exhaustion.

They brag about “never missing a day of work,” about sleeping four hours a night, or about how they “earned everything the hard way.”

And sure, hard work deserves respect. But the glorification of suffering, that’s what younger people can’t relate to.

Millennials and Gen Z have started to see rest not as laziness, but as maintenance. They talk about burnout openly, they quit jobs that drain them, and they seek work-life balance without shame.

A systematic review in Harvard Business Review found that taking periodic breaks and rest periods significantly improves creative thinking and problem-solving performance.

I used to think I was lazy for needing downtime after work. But then I realized I was just undoing years of inherited guilt about rest, guilt passed down from a generation that thought being tired meant you were valuable.

The pity comes from knowing they never got to rest without apologizing for it.

3. Treating emotions like a liability

Many boomers were taught to bottle things up.

Crying, complaining, or even saying “I’m not okay” was taboo, especially for men. Vulnerability wasn’t seen as honesty; it was weakness.

That conditioning shaped everything: how they raised children, how they handled conflict, and how they processed pain.

I remember once seeing my uncle tear up after his mother died. He immediately turned away and said, “Sorry, I’m being dramatic.”

That moment broke my heart. He wasn’t being dramatic; he was being human.

Younger generations have been luckier. We grew up in a culture that finally gave language to what older generations had to suppress: anxiety, trauma, depression. We have therapy, podcasts, and mental health awareness campaigns.

When boomers mock those things or say, “Back in my day, we just got on with it,” what we hear isn’t toughness, it’s grief for all the feelings they never got to express.

And that’s not something to mock. It’s something to mourn.

4. Equating loyalty with self-sacrifice

Boomers stayed, in jobs, marriages, communities, long past the point of joy.

They were taught that commitment was sacred. You didn’t quit; you endured.

That value built stability, yes, but it also bred quiet misery.

I once met an older woman who told me she worked at the same company for 35 years even though she “hated every single Monday.” When I asked why she stayed, she said, “Because that’s what good people do.”

That sentence has stayed with me.

Younger generations view loyalty differently, not as self-abandonment, but as alignment. We believe you can be loyal and free, that leaving something that no longer fits isn’t betrayal, it’s evolution.

Boomers often see that as flaky. We see it as survival.

And it’s hard not to feel sorry for anyone who’s been taught that misery is a moral virtue.

5. Looking down on “easier” paths

Many boomers still believe struggle equals virtue.

They call younger people “soft” for wanting flexibility or “entitled” for refusing unpaid internships. They mock online jobs, side hustles, or content creation as if financial independence through new channels is somehow less legitimate.

But the world changed. The economy changed. The definition of success changed.

A stable job and a white picket fence simply aren’t the default goals anymore, not because people are lazy, but because they’ve realized happiness doesn’t always follow that path.

What’s funny is, many boomers were rebels in their youth. They challenged authority, protested wars, demanded freedom. Yet now they look at younger people doing the same, only digitally, and dismiss it.

The pity lies in seeing how pride keeps them from recognizing that adaptability is the new hard work.

6. Seeing therapy as “for crazy people”

When I first mentioned going to therapy, my mum looked horrified.

She said, “What’s wrong with you? Are you sick?”

That reaction wasn’t cruelty; it was conditioning. Her generation saw therapy as something shameful, a last resort for the broken.

Meanwhile, for millennials and Gen Z, therapy is a normal part of maintenance, like cleaning your mental windshield.

A large survey found that 94% of people in couples therapy believe it has had a positive impact on their relationship.

I sometimes look at boomers and think: they could’ve been so much happier if they’d felt safe enough to unpack their pain instead of hiding it behind pride.

That’s not pity in a superior way; it’s sorrow for what they were never allowed to feel.

7. Bragging about “real” communication while ignoring connection

Boomers love to say, “We actually talked to each other back then!”

And they’re right, they did. But talking isn’t the same as connecting.

Plenty of boomers maintained decades-long relationships where feelings were never discussed. Many of them never said “I love you” to their kids because they assumed “providing” was enough proof.

Younger generations have replaced long phone calls with DMs, yes, but those DMs often hold deeper truths than a thousand polite conversations.

Psychologist Sherry Turkle put it beautifully in her TED talk “Connected, but alone?”: technology doesn’t destroy connection; it reveals what we’re afraid of feeling.

Boomers may be nostalgic for “simpler times,” but the younger generation’s version of connection, honest, expressive, global, is arguably more intimate.

We don’t pity their lack of gadgets. We pity the emotional walls they built even when they had every chance to break them.

8. Refusing to unlearn outdated beliefs

This might be the hardest one to watch.

Some boomers cling to beliefs that don’t belong in 2025, ideas about gender, sexuality, race, or success that reflect a world long gone.

And when challenged, they often say, “That’s just how I was raised.”

Younger generations understand context, but context isn’t an excuse. It’s a starting point for growth.

To evolve, you have to be willing to be wrong. You have to admit that your worldview isn’t the only valid one.

That kind of humility terrifies many boomers because it threatens the identity they built their pride on.

I once had a conversation with an older relative who said, “People are too sensitive these days.” I asked her what she thought sensitivity meant, and she said, “Weakness.”

I told her, “Maybe it’s awareness.”

She didn’t respond, but her silence said everything, that pride had built her sense of safety. Letting it go would feel like losing herself.

And that’s the saddest part: some people would rather be right than free.

Final thoughts

Boomers deserve respect.

They built much of what younger generations now enjoy. They worked through hardship, built families from scratch, and navigated life without the tools or resources we take for granted today.

But pride, when left unchecked, becomes a trap. It keeps them defending outdated ideas, refusing support, and pushing through pain they no longer need to carry.

Younger generations aren’t mocking them; they’re mourning what pride has cost them: rest, tenderness, curiosity, healing.

Before we finish, there’s one more thing I need to say.

Pity isn’t condescension. It’s compassion for a generation that was never taught how to be soft without losing face.

Because beneath the pride, the eye rolls, and the “back in my day” speeches, most boomers are just people who never learned how to be cared for, only how to care for others.

And maybe that’s why, deep down, we don’t actually pity them. We just wish they’d give themselves the permission we’re finally learning to claim, to live with less armor, and more grace.