If you're a boomer still using these 8 phrases, younger people are secretly embarrassed for you

Let’s be honest. Every generation has its own language.

Slang changes, tone shifts, and what sounded confident or cool thirty years ago can come across as dated or even condescending today.

You might not realize it, but the words you use can reveal more about your mindset than you think. And for many younger people, certain phrases signal that someone is a bit out of touch, even when the person means well.

If you’re curious about which expressions have quietly expired, here are eight that tend to make younger folks cringe a little, and what you can say instead.

1) “Back in my day”

I get it. You want to share how things were before smartphones, social media, and food delivery apps. You’ve lived through real change, and that’s valuable.

But when you start a sentence with “Back in my day,” it often sounds like a setup for a lecture rather than a story. Younger people immediately brace for a moral comparison: “We had it tougher,” or “People worked harder back then.”

Instead, try telling a story directly. Say, “When I was starting out, we had to figure things out without the internet,” or “Before streaming, we’d wait all week to catch a TV episode.”

You’re still sharing nostalgia, but in a way that invites curiosity rather than defensiveness.

It’s the difference between saying, “You kids don’t get it,” and saying, “Here’s something interesting from my experience.”

2) “Young people today don’t want to work”

This phrase might be the most overused generational criticism ever.

Every decade, older generations have accused younger ones of being lazy, entitled, or unmotivated. Yet history keeps proving otherwise. Each generation just works differently.

Millennials and Gen Z often prioritize flexibility, mental health, and work-life balance. That doesn’t mean they’re unwilling to work hard. It means they’re more intentional about why they work.

Psychologists call this “value-based motivation.” People perform best when their efforts align with what matters to them. For many younger professionals, that means seeking purpose, not just a paycheck.

If you want to connect across generations, try asking, “What kind of work inspires you?” instead of judging how they approach it. Curiosity always beats criticism.

3) “Kids these days are too sensitive”

This one pops up a lot, especially in conversations about culture, gender, or social norms.

What you might interpret as oversensitivity is often just emotional literacy. Younger generations have grown up with more awareness around mental health, trauma, and social inclusion.

They’re not necessarily fragile. They’re just more fluent in feelings and boundaries than earlier generations were allowed to be.

As someone who’s studied psychology, I can tell you that emotional awareness is linked to stronger relationships and better problem-solving. It’s not weakness. It’s evolution.

If you find yourself wanting to say this phrase, pause and ask why something bothers you. Are you reacting to change, or to discomfort with vulnerability? There’s a big difference.

4) “That’s not how we used to do it”

This phrase can instantly kill collaboration.

Younger coworkers hear it as a signal that you’re resistant to innovation or that your way is the only way. Even if you’re trying to offer perspective, it can sound like you’re shutting down new ideas before they’ve had a chance to breathe.

A better approach? Share your experience as context, not correction.

Try saying, “In the past, we handled it like this, but I’m curious how you’d approach it today.”

That small tweak opens the door for dialogue. It shows that you respect your own experience while staying open to learning something new.

Adaptability is one of the most admired traits in modern workplaces. Holding onto old methods too tightly doesn’t make you wise; it makes you rigid.

5) “I’m not good with technology”

You might think this statement is harmless or self-deprecating, but younger people often hear it as avoidance rather than honesty.

Technology isn’t going anywhere. When you proudly announce that you can’t keep up, it sends the message that you’ve stopped trying.

That’s a shame because curiosity never expires.

You don’t need to become a coding genius or social media influencer. But showing genuine interest in learning new tools goes a long way.

Instead of “I’m not good with technology,” try saying, “I haven’t learned that yet, but I’d like to.”

Those few words shift the tone completely. You go from being resistant to being open-minded, and that’s something everyone respects.

6) “Why does everything have to be political?”

This one tends to come up during conversations about gender identity, climate change, or social justice.

The short answer is: because everything affects people’s lives.

What might seem like “politics” to one person often feels like identity or survival to another. When younger people advocate for causes, they’re usually not chasing trends. They’re responding to the world they’ve inherited.

If you find yourself tuning out or feeling frustrated by the constant discussions of inequality or representation, consider this: being tired of the conversation is a privilege. Some people don’t get to opt out.

A more open way to engage would be, “I hadn’t thought about it that way. Can you tell me more about how this issue impacts you?”

Curiosity doesn’t mean agreement. It just means respect.

7) “You’re too young to understand”

Nothing makes a younger person shut down faster than this phrase.

It assumes that wisdom comes only with age, but that’s not entirely true. Experience can teach you a lot, but so can empathy, education, and perspective.

I once caught myself almost saying this to a younger friend who was giving me relationship advice. I stopped myself and listened instead. He didn’t have decades of experience, but he had a way of seeing patterns that I was too close to notice. He ended up being right.

So before you dismiss someone’s insight based on their age, ask yourself if you’re reacting to their youth or to the discomfort of seeing things differently.

Wisdom doesn’t always come with gray hair. Sometimes it comes with fresh eyes.

8) “That’s just how I was raised”

This phrase is usually used to justify beliefs or behaviors that no longer align with today’s social values.

It’s often said in conversations about gender roles, pronouns, or cultural sensitivity. The intention might be harmless, but it can come across as defensive or unwilling to evolve.

We all have roots in our upbringing, but growth means questioning what no longer serves us. Saying “That’s just how I was raised” shuts down the possibility of reflection.

Try replacing it with, “That’s how I learned to see things, but I’m open to understanding more.”

It signals maturity. It says you’re self-aware enough to recognize that beliefs can evolve, and that’s something younger generations admire deeply.

The deeper reason these phrases matter

Language reflects mindset.

When you use phrases that sound dismissive, nostalgic, or defensive, it’s not just about the words. It’s about what they communicate underneath.

Younger people value openness, emotional intelligence, and self-awareness. They’re less impressed by authority and more drawn to authenticity.

If you want to bridge the generational gap, the goal isn’t to mimic their slang or trends. It’s to speak with curiosity instead of judgment.

Ask more questions. Listen without assuming. And remember that humility is far more attractive than experience when it’s paired with empathy.

Final thoughts

If you’ve said any of these phrases before, don’t beat yourself up. Everyone has blind spots, and language habits are hard to break.

The key is noticing when a phrase shuts down connection instead of building it.

Communication evolves because people do. Staying open to that evolution keeps you relevant, relatable, and respected, no matter what year you were born.

At the end of the day, being cool isn’t about slang. It’s about awareness. And that’s something anyone, at any age, can master.