9 things people with low emotional intelligence do in conversations that instantly make others uncomfortable

There’s a certain vibe you pick up when you’re talking to someone who just doesn’t get it. You know the type — the conversation feels clunky, awkward, or even draining. You leave wondering why you suddenly feel like curling up under a weighted blanket with noise-canceling headphones and a cup of sleepytime tea.

Chances are, you’ve just interacted with someone low on emotional intelligence (EQ). While not everyone needs to be a conversation Jedi, basic emotional awareness is key to smooth social interactions. And when it's missing? Well, things get weird fast.

Here are 9 things people with low emotional intelligence do in conversations that instantly make others uncomfortable — and how to spot them before they hijack your vibe.

1. They dominate the conversation like it’s their personal TED Talk

People with low EQ often mistake “talking a lot” for “connecting.” They jump from story to story, rarely pausing to ask questions or gauge your reactions. You’ll be ten minutes into a conversation before realizing you haven’t said a single word — and they haven’t noticed.

Why it’s uncomfortable: You feel invisible. There’s no back-and-forth, no curiosity, just a monologue. It’s not a conversation — it’s a performance.

Real-life example: I once grabbed a coffee with a guy who told me every detail about his crypto portfolio without once asking what I did for a living. When I said I was a writer, he said, “Cool. So anyway, back to Ethereum…”

2. They can’t read the room — or your face

Low-EQ folks miss obvious social cues. You lean back? Cross your arms? Check your watch? They keep going. Your facial expressions don’t register. It’s like they’re having a conversation with a mannequin.

Why it’s uncomfortable: You feel trapped. Social cues are how we gracefully exit or shift conversations — when someone ignores them, it throws off the entire rhythm.

Pro tip: If you feel like you need to fake a phone call to escape, you’re probably dealing with someone who’s EQ-deficient.

3. They overshare way too soon

There’s a special kind of social whiplash that happens when someone jumps from “Hi, nice to meet you” to “My ex cheated on me with my boss” in under five minutes. Emotional intimacy can’t be forced — it has to unfold naturally.

Why it’s uncomfortable: You’re put in the position of therapist or confidant without consent. It’s emotionally overwhelming and makes the interaction feel unbalanced.

It’s not vulnerability — it’s a boundary bulldozer.

4. They constantly one-up your experiences

You: “I had a really tough week at work.”
Them: “That’s nothing. I once worked 100-hour weeks while fighting bronchitis.”
You: 🧍

Low EQ people tend to compete rather than connect. Instead of validating your experience, they immediately shift the spotlight back to themselves.

Why it’s uncomfortable: You don’t feel heard — you feel dismissed. It’s exhausting to share anything when it gets steamrolled by a “me too, but worse (or better)” response.

5. They give unsolicited advice — constantly

Mention a minor problem and watch them morph into an unqualified life coach. Your Wi-Fi dropped for five minutes? They’ve got a seven-step productivity plan that will change your life.

Why it’s uncomfortable: Sometimes you just want empathy, not solutions. Unsolicited advice can feel patronizing, especially when it’s not based on any real understanding of your situation.

Hot take: The emotionally intelligent response? “That sucks. Do you want to vent, or are you looking for ideas?”

6. They laugh or react inappropriately

Ever share something serious, only to be met with a nervous laugh or a bizarre comment that makes you second-guess opening up in the first place? That’s classic low-EQ behavior.

Why it’s uncomfortable: You feel emotionally exposed, and their reaction feels tone-deaf — like you’re speaking two different emotional languages.

One time, I mentioned my friend was going through a tough breakup and the guy I was talking to said, “Well, at least she can finally get on Tinder.” Cool. Thanks for the depth, Brad.

7. They can’t handle silence — so they fill it with noise

A well-placed pause in conversation can create space for thought or connection. But low-EQ individuals often find silence unbearable. They rush to fill it with nervous rambling, off-topic tangents, or even inappropriate jokes.

Why it’s uncomfortable: The energy becomes chaotic. Instead of a calm exchange, you get verbal clutter. It feels like someone turned the radio on full blast during a library study session.

8. They ignore emotional shifts — yours or theirs

Let’s say something in the conversation clearly hits a nerve — your tone changes, your body stiffens, or you glance away. A person with emotional intelligence might say, “Hey, are you okay?” A low-EQ person? They bulldoze right through it, oblivious to any emotional shift.

Why it’s uncomfortable: It feels like your inner world doesn’t matter. Emotional blind spots make meaningful conversation almost impossible — especially if you’re the only one emotionally present.

Think of it like trying to dance with someone who doesn’t hear the music. It’s all missteps.

9. They lack basic empathy and emotional vocabulary

Try talking about a nuanced feeling — like guilt, regret, or bittersweet joy — and you’ll get a blank stare or a surface-level response like “That sucks” or “Weird.” They often default to generic, emotionally distant language because they simply don’t know how to connect on that level.

Why it’s uncomfortable: You feel misunderstood. You might even start doubting whether you’re being “too much” — when really, you’re just hoping for a little emotional resonance.

Final thoughts: It’s not always their fault — but it is your right to disengage

Here’s the thing: not everyone with low emotional intelligence is trying to be a conversational menace. Sometimes it’s learned behavior. Sometimes it’s social anxiety in disguise. Sometimes it’s just a lack of practice or awareness.

But that doesn’t mean you have to stick around for it.

Your comfort in a conversation matters. You’re allowed to protect your energy.

And if you recognize some of these behaviors in yourself? No judgment — emotional intelligence isn’t fixed. It’s something you can build. Start by listening more, asking deeper questions, and noticing not just what people say, but how they feel when they say it.

Because the most magnetic people — the ones who draw others in like cozy firelight on a cold night — are those who make you feel seen, heard, and safe.

And that? That starts with emotional intelligence.