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Men who keep getting better—not just older—often live by these 7 principles

Some men just age. Others evolve. These 7 uncommon principles reveal why some only get sharper, stronger, and more grounded with time.

Lifestyle

Some men just age. Others evolve. These 7 uncommon principles reveal why some only get sharper, stronger, and more grounded with time.

Getting older is inevitable. Getting better? That takes intention.

Some men settle. Others evolve.

I’ve met guys in their 50s and 60s who feel more alive, more grounded, and more fulfilled than they ever did in their 30s. They’ve got wrinkles, sure—but also wisdom, peace of mind, and a strong sense of direction.

What’s the difference?

It’s not about money or status. It’s about how they live.

Here are seven principles I’ve noticed they follow. And honestly? Any of us can start applying them today.

1. They choose growth over comfort

There’s a kind of silent decay that happens when you choose comfort over challenge too many times in a row.

Men who keep evolving don’t settle into autopilot. They stretch themselves. They’re the ones learning a new language “just because,” or signing up for a local improv class even if it terrifies them.

This reminds me of something I heard from psychologist Carol Dweck, who coined the term “growth mindset.” She said: “Becoming is better than being.”

And that’s the key—these guys never stop becoming.

They don’t ask, “Am I good at this?” They ask, “What can I learn from this?”

They’re not addicted to being comfortable. They’re addicted to getting better. That might look like downsizing to live with less. Or leaving a job that pays well but drains their soul. Or simply reading books that challenge their worldview instead of just confirming what they already believe.

2. They take care of their bodies like it’s non-negotiable

I’m not talking about six-pack abs or running ultra-marathons (though some of them do that too). I’m talking about daily maintenance.

Stretching. Walking. Getting real sleep. Actually cooking a meal instead of just nuking leftovers.

One guy I spoke to in Lisbon told me, “At 55, my workouts aren’t about vanity anymore. They’re about energy. About showing up fully for my life.”

I liked that. These men aren’t chasing youth—they’re honoring vitality.

And it shows.

Also, they tend to approach health with curiosity, not control. They experiment with what works. Some intermittent fast. Others swear by cold plunges. Some swear at them.

But the point is—they don’t outsource their health to chance. They’re active participants in their own well-being.

3. They take responsibility without drowning in guilt

There’s a quiet strength in being able to say: “Yeah, that one was on me.” Not with shame. Not to beat yourself up. But to learn and move on.

I’ve mentioned this before, but one of the most freeing shifts I ever made was letting go of the need to be right all the time. Taking responsibility doesn’t shrink you—it stretches you.

As noted by clinical psychologist Dr. Jordan Peterson: “The purpose of life is finding the largest burden that you can bear and bearing it.”

Guys who keep getting better don’t avoid burden. They carry it with a straight back and an open heart.

What they don’t do is ruminate endlessly over the past. They’ve learned how to apologize sincerely, course correct, and do better going forward.

They understand that accountability is a form of freedom. It means you have agency. And agency means you can change.

4. They keep their circles tight—but intentional

Here’s the thing: You don’t need dozens of friends. You need a few real ones who’ll call you out when you’re off track—and celebrate you when you’re not.

Men who thrive into their later years tend to build relationships with other grounded, honest people. They’re done with posturing. They’re allergic to performative friendships.

And they don’t confuse being alone with being lonely.

Many have cut ties with toxic people. Some have reconnected with old friends they once lost touch with. Others are just great at nurturing new connections that feel aligned.

I’ve noticed they’re also more emotionally available than you’d expect. They’re the ones sending a check-in text. They remember your kid’s name. They show up when they say they will.

Because when you’re getting better—not just older—you realize that the quality of your life is directly tied to the quality of your relationships.

5. They’re deeply curious about life

The men I admire most are the ones who ask great questions.

Not just of other people—but of themselves.

They wonder things like:
“What do I still believe that no longer serves me?”
“What if I approached this differently?”
“What haven’t I noticed yet?”

They don’t pretend to know it all. In fact, they’re often the first to admit they don’t.

As noted by organizational psychologist Adam Grant: “The hallmark of wisdom is knowing when it’s time to abandon some of your most treasured tools—and some of the most cherished parts of your identity.”

These men don’t fear becoming someone new. They fear becoming someone stuck.

And their curiosity doesn’t just live in books or podcasts—it lives in how they speak to strangers, how they travel, how they listen. They stay in wonder. And that keeps them youthful.

6. They stop proving and start aligning

You can always spot the man who’s still trying to prove himself—he’s loud, reactive, maybe even charming in a restless kind of way.

But the man who’s focused on becoming better? He’s more focused on alignment than applause.

That means he acts in ways that line up with his values—even when no one’s watching. He doesn’t say yes to every opportunity just to seem important. He doesn’t need to dominate the room to feel secure.

There’s a line from Brené Brown that comes to mind here: “You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.”

Men who are getting better aren’t hustling for approval. They’re living on purpose.

And alignment, for them, might mean turning down a promotion. Or leaving the city. Or prioritizing rest over hustle. Because they’ve realized that better isn’t louder—it’s quieter, deeper, truer.

7. They do the inner work—and don’t make it weird

Therapy. Meditation. Reading about emotional intelligence. Talking through things instead of bottling them up.

None of it feels taboo to these men.

They’re the ones who’ll say, “I’ve been noticing this pattern in myself lately,” and actually mean it.

I met a guy once who said he journals every morning—not to “manifest” anything—but to notice what’s on his mind before the day grabs hold of it. It keeps him grounded.

This emotional self-awareness is a game-changer.

As noted by Dr. Susan David, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School: “Courage is not an absence of fear; courage is fear walking.”

Doing the inner work doesn’t make these men soft. It makes them solid.

They’ve stopped outsourcing their self-worth. They’ve stopped blaming others for their moods. They’re not afraid to feel. And that—more than anything—makes them resilient.

Final thought

You don’t wake up one day and just “become” better. You live it. You choose it. Over and over.

And while aging happens passively, growth does not.

So if you’re in a season of your life where you’re questioning where you’re headed—good. That means you’re paying attention.

Start with one of these principles. Then build from there.

Better isn’t about being perfect. It’s about staying in motion.

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Jordan Cooper

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Jordan Cooper is a pop-culture writer and vegan-snack reviewer with roots in music blogging. Known for approachable, insightful prose, Jordan connects modern trends—from K-pop choreography to kombucha fermentation—with thoughtful food commentary. In his downtime, he enjoys photography, experimenting with fermentation recipes, and discovering new indie music playlists.

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