If you were taught these 6 things as a child, you were raised by exceptional parents

Most of us grow up thinking our childhood was “normal.”

It’s only later—maybe in therapy, maybe in conversation with a friend, maybe during a random scroll on social media—that we realize some of the lessons we absorbed early on were anything but ordinary.

Some were quietly brilliant.

And if you were taught even a handful of the following six things as a kid, it’s worth pausing and giving your parents (or whoever raised you) some serious credit.

Because they didn’t just prepare you for life—they gave you a head start most people never even knew they missed.

1. Your feelings are valid

When a kid falls apart over a broken crayon or a missed turn in a game, it’s tempting for adults to brush it off.

“It’s not a big deal.”

“You’re overreacting.”

But if your parents paused, knelt down, and said something like, “I get why you’re upset. That must be frustrating,” they were doing something exceptional.

They were teaching you emotional validation.

According to Dr. John Gottman, a leading researcher in emotional intelligence, “When we validate a child’s feelings, we build trust and encourage emotional resilience.”

I’ve seen this play out with my friend’s daughter. She’s five. And when she cries, her mom doesn’t shush her. She asks questions. She helps her name what she’s feeling. And the wild thing? That kid bounces back faster than most adults I know.

If you learned early on that it’s okay to feel big emotions—and even better, that you could talk about them—you’re way ahead of the curve.

2. Apologizing doesn’t make you weak

Some people grow up in households where no adult ever says sorry.

Ever notice that?

There’s something quietly powerful about a parent saying, “I shouldn’t have raised my voice. I’m sorry.”

As noted by Dr. Harriet Lerner, psychologist and author of Why Won’t You Apologize?, “Apologizing doesn’t always mean you’re wrong. It means you value the relationship more than your ego.”

This one hit me on a trip to Portugal a few years back. I was staying with a family in Lisbon—super open-hearted people—and I watched the dad apologize to his son after snapping during dinner prep.

It wasn’t dramatic. It wasn’t performative. It was just real. And it reset the room.

If you were taught that apologizing is a strength, not a shame, you were shown what mature accountability looks like.

3. You don’t have to earn rest

This one gets buried deep.

If your parents ever told you, “You look tired—go lie down,” or “You’ve done enough for today,” then let me just say: you hit the jackpot.

A lot of us grew up believing we had to earn our rest. That naps were lazy. That breaks were indulgent. That productivity was the measure of our worth.

I’ve mentioned this before, but I used to push myself way past burnout. And I didn’t even realize I was doing it because it was so ingrained—this hustle-hard default mode.

But if your childhood included moments where rest was modeled as necessary, not negotiable? Your parents were breaking cycles.

As behavioral scientist Devon Price puts it: “Laziness does not exist. What we call laziness is often a sign of unmet needs or depleted resources.”

Big lesson. Bigger gift.

4. Your worth isn’t tied to your achievements

If you were praised just as much for being kind as you were for getting good grades, you were raised by rare people.

A lot of kids grow up equating their value with performance. The medal. The report card. The college acceptance.

And while encouragement is great, conditional approval creates a mental trap: If I don’t win, I’m not worthy.

If your parents celebrated your character as much as your accomplishments—if they noticed when you helped a sibling, apologized to a friend, or stuck up for someone on the playground—they were teaching you intrinsic self-worth.

That’s the kind that doesn’t fall apart when you miss a goal or fail a test.

And trust me, as someone who’s failed a lot, that kind of grounding keeps you from unraveling when things get messy.

5. You’re allowed to say no

Consent isn’t just about romantic relationships—it’s about autonomy.

And it starts young.

If you were allowed to say “no” to hugs, to change your mind, to have preferences without being punished or guilted into compliance, your parents were laying down one of the most empowering foundations possible.

This is backed by experts like Dr. Laura Markham, who notes: “When children are allowed to say no in safe environments, they grow up with stronger boundaries and a better ability to protect themselves.”

It sounds simple, but not every kid gets this.

I remember a childhood friend whose parents always forced him to hug every guest, no matter how he felt. He hated it. Even at 10, I could tell it made him shut down.

By contrast, I’ve seen other families say, “Do you want to wave or say hi in another way?” That’s agency.

If your no was respected as a child, you’re likely much better at honoring your own limits now—and that’s rare.

6. You can talk to me about anything

This one is huge.

Because if your parents created a space where you felt safe to talk—about mistakes, scary feelings, confusing questions, or things you didn’t understand—they were doing more than parenting. They were building trust.

So many adults I know never felt they could talk openly at home. So they hid. They lied. They learned to pretend.

But if you had even one parent or guardian who said, “You can always come to me, no matter what,” and meant it, that gave you a level of security most people only find years later in therapy.

That kind of emotional safety doesn’t just build closeness—it builds confidence. Because you learn that being honest won’t cost you love.

And that belief? It follows you for life.

The bottom line

No parent gets everything right.

But if you were taught even a few of the above lessons, you were gifted more than just guidance—you were handed tools for emotional intelligence, resilience, and self-trust.

You were raised by people who saw you not just as a child, but as a future adult deserving of respect, compassion, and autonomy.

And if you didn’t get all of these growing up? That doesn’t mean you’re behind. It just means you’re learning now.

We all are.