8 types of people that are just not worth keeping in touch with

We all outgrow people—it’s part of life.

But sometimes we cling to old connections out of guilt, habit, or the vague hope that maybe they’ll change.

Here’s the thing though: not everyone deserves a seat at your table just because they once knew how to find it.

I’ve learned this the hard way. In the past, I’ve kept certain people in my orbit far longer than I should have—telling myself I was being loyal or kind, when really, I was just avoiding discomfort.

Eventually, I realized that maintaining certain connections was quietly draining my energy, my peace, and my self-worth.

So, if you’ve been wondering whether it’s time to let someone go, this list might help you decide.

Let’s get into it.

1. The ones who only reach out when they need something

We all know this person.

They disappear for months—maybe even years—and then suddenly pop up with a favor to ask.

It might be framed as “catching up,” but somehow, the conversation always turns into a request.

The pattern is pretty clear: when you’re useful, they’re present. When you’re not, they vanish.

And listen—I’m all for being supportive. But relationships should be reciprocal, not transactional. If someone only remembers you when they’re low on resources or short on options, it might be time to let that connection fade.

2. The constant critic

I had a friend once who never had anything positive to say about anyone—including me.

If I shared a win, she’d downplay it. If I opened up about a struggle, she’d find a way to point out how I “caused it.” And if I didn’t bring anything up at all, she’d still find something to critique.

At first, I told myself she was just being honest. But honesty without empathy is just cruelty in disguise.

This is backed by experts like clinical psychologist Dr. Carla Marie Manly, who has noted that “chronic criticism is often a way for people to assert control or deflect from their own insecurities.”

Eventually, I stopped picking up her calls. And the silence that followed felt more peaceful than any of our conversations ever did.

3. The gossip distributor

There’s a difference between venting and chronic gossiping—and the line becomes clear when someone seems to thrive on drama more than connection.

I’m talking about the kind of person who always has “tea” to spill, often disguised as concern.

They might say things like, “I probably shouldn’t say this, but…” or “Just between us…”

But here’s what I’ve learned: if they talk that freely about others to you, they probably talk just as freely about you to others.

Trust isn’t built on juicy tidbits. It’s built on quiet loyalty. And if someone consistently betrays other people’s trust, that’s your cue to back away—even if they’ve never burned you directly.

Yet.

4. The emotionally unavailable checker

This one can be tricky, especially when it’s someone you’ve shared history with—like an old friend or even a relative.

They check in from time to time. Maybe they send you a birthday message. Maybe they like your photos. But when it comes to real emotional presence? They’re nowhere to be found.

You could spill your heart out in a message, and all you’ll get back is a thumbs-up emoji or a vague “hope you’re okay.”

Maintaining this kind of surface-level connection can feel like trying to water a dead plant. It’s a one-sided effort that never really leads anywhere.

Staying in touch just because you “should” isn’t a good enough reason. You deserve people who show up, not just check in.

5. The competitor disguised as a friend

Ever notice how some people can’t seem to be happy for you?

Maybe you share some good news and they immediately counter with their own achievement. Or they turn every situation into a subtle competition—who’s busier, who’s more successful, who’s “winning” at life.

It can feel subtle at first, like a minor annoyance. But over time, it starts to chip away at your confidence.

As noted by psychologist Dr. Miriam Kirmayer, “When friendships are based on comparison, rather than connection, they stop being a source of support and start becoming a source of stress.”

You don’t need someone in your life who sees you as a rival instead of a teammate. There’s enough room for all of us to shine.

6. The passive-aggressive messenger

This one often comes cloaked in politeness or humor—but the sting is always there.

Maybe it’s the friend who makes “jokes” at your expense. Or the family member who leaves backhanded compliments like, “Wow, you actually look good today!” or “I could never pull off something that bold.”

They’ll say they’re just teasing, but your gut tells you otherwise.

Passive-aggression is still aggression. And people who use sarcasm, guilt, or subtle jabs as a form of communication are often unwilling to confront their feelings in a healthy way.

You’re not obligated to decode anyone’s emotional puzzles. If someone can’t be direct or respectful, distance might be the most honest response.

7. The ones stuck in the past

I once reconnected with an old friend from college, and all we did for three hours was talk about college.

Not in a nostalgic, “remember that one hilarious night?” kind of way. But in a way that made it painfully clear: that was the highlight of her life, and she had no interest in moving forward.

Every time I tried to share something about where I was now—my work, my goals, my current friendships—she either ignored it or found a way to steer the conversation back to “the good old days.”

It made me realize that sometimes we try to maintain bonds out of loyalty to our past selves, not because of anything relevant in the present.

Growth can make old relationships feel like wearing shoes two sizes too small. If the only thing you share with someone is history, it might be time to let them stay in it.

8. The energy leech

Some people just leave you exhausted.

You might not even be able to pinpoint what it is. Maybe they’re constantly in crisis, always needing your emotional labor. Or maybe they’re perpetually negative, cynical, or chaotic.

Whatever the reason, you walk away from interactions with them feeling heavier—every single time.

As therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab has said, “You’re not a bad person for deciding you no longer have the capacity to carry someone else’s emotional weight.”

Letting go of these connections isn’t about being cold. It’s about protecting your own nervous system. Some people aren’t bad—they’re just not good for you.

And that distinction matters.

Final thoughts

Letting go of certain people doesn’t mean you don’t care. It just means you care about yourself enough to prioritize peace, clarity, and emotional balance.

Life is too short to spend it managing relationships that deplete you.

The right people won’t leave you second-guessing your worth, defending your boundaries, or feeling like you’re always the one doing the emotional heavy lifting.

So if you’ve been waiting for a sign to stop keeping in touch with someone who no longer fits into the life you’re trying to build—this might be it.

And trust me, you’ll know when the silence feels lighter than their presence ever did.